what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine
praying and hearing the following:
Thank you for calling heaven.
For English press 1
For Spanish press 2
For all other languages, press 3
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for request
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all others
I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners
right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer
it
in the order it was received. Please stay on the line. If you would
like
to speak to:
God, press 1
Jesus, press 2
Holy spirit, press 3
To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then
enter
his social security # followed by the pound sign.
(If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code:
666-fire-down-below.
For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers,
316.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other
planets, please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics.
Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please
hang up and call again tomorrow.
The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious
holiday.
If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please
contact your local pastor.
Thank you and have a heavenly day.
2006-07-22 09:49:28 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Gracie-- This is not to be taken litterally... just supposed to make you think.
2006-07-22 10:13:38 · update #1
Hahaha! Excellent! :-)
2006-07-22 10:01:41 · answer #1 · answered by Axel ∇ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
People often ask, as an idle question, whether the process of evolution began with the chicken or the egg. Was there an egg out of which the first chicken came, or did a chicken lay the first egg? I am in a position to say that the first thing created was the egg.
"When god created all the creatures of the earth, He summoned all the embyoes into the Great Hall. As they gathered, he saw that it was good.
Before the Great Throne, he asked each and every creature what tool or change in their body did they want. Even the duckbilled platypus had a request. Many requested wings, some paws to dig with or teeth to chew with. The last remaining embryo was Man.
Man didn't want anything, just the brains and knowledge to use tools to dig, to fly, to figure out ways of doing things better. For Man's unselfishness, God granted Man dominions over the land, the animals and creatures of the air....after completing his tasks, God knocked off for the weekend....to rest up for the Monday to come..."
2006-07-22 17:03:24 · answer #2 · answered by Its not me Its u 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats interesting... but you know, God doesn't need voicemail.. that's just technology, and nothing is greater than God... but that would be kinda cool, but then its almost like God would be stereotyped because he needed technology to communicate with us humans... God's not like that... well , hope to answer your question!!!
2006-07-22 17:05:57 · answer #3 · answered by Graci Williams 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all i can say is WOW! i dont know thats just crazy. i mean a voicemail to call god? wow i dont know. thats just creepy. i dont know what to say right now.
2006-07-22 16:54:50 · answer #4 · answered by Destiny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that way God would prove He hears us and is up there, not at some gay bar drinkin' his eternal life away with some ******...
2006-07-22 16:52:27 · answer #5 · answered by pop_sergiu33 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LMAO You're crazy!
2006-07-22 16:53:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is Great! Where did you find it?
2006-07-22 16:53:48 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, never wondered that
2006-07-22 16:53:44 · answer #8 · answered by liky114 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋