if you said something really bad about a member of your family you really loved behind their back if at the time they were being really selfish and horrible, i have approached them telling them how crap they've been,should you beat yourself up about it or accept you said it cos you were upset and angry as everyone says things they dont mean,even if it was pretty bad?
2006-07-22 09:41:31 · 27 answers · asked by ♥cozicat♥ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
if they was in your shoes would they do the same? probably yes it ain't healthy to hold your feeling in and maybe you needed to let someone know what you was feeling. and i kinda get the feeling that they would of pointed your faults to you so don't worry about it
2006-07-22 09:58:10 · answer #1 · answered by zinola 1 · 4⤊ 2⤋
You are guilty!!! Any doubts?
If they were being selfish and horrible and you reacted on the spur of the moment then you made the situation worse. But why did you speak behind their back? What good came out of it?
ha ha "everyone says things they don't mean" is not true. No escaping the truth baby. You meant what you said.
You don't beat yourself for your behaviour but accept that you made a normal human mistake and apologize.
2006-07-22 09:53:52 · answer #2 · answered by StraightDrive 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bad or good is relative. Behind ones back, again depends upon whether saying in front of the person is going to be of help and also the issue (we need to refer to concept of 'punishment'); beating oneself is never known to have helped, and if at all gives a false notion of consolation, there could be a tendency to repeat such self-punishment , and in turn it could end up as a route to escapism !
Yes, sometimes we may say things we do not mean , and it does not mean that we are justified, instead there could be a deeper suppression ! We may have just 'utilised' the next available 'flimsy' occasion to make up for having lost an earlier one to settle a score ! All these, are unhealthy for mental health and mutual compatibility, and should be reflected upon in togetherness.
2006-07-23 00:13:06 · answer #3 · answered by Spiritualseeker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all say things in anger that we don't really mean hun. Accept that you said it, don't linger on it now... it's the past. What you should try and do is hold your tongue in moments of anger and try not to say anything bad in future. Hopefully you and your family member are getting along better now and sorted your differences out. If you have forgiven each other it's time to forgive yourself that little outburst. All the best xxx
2006-07-22 09:46:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all get upset and say bad things to those we love. That's why it is important to think before you speak. There is no sense in beating yourself up over it, as that won't change anything. If you apologize to them and try to do better about what you say, then that should be good enough.
2006-07-22 09:48:59 · answer #5 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel really guilty, you'd probably feel better to apologise and get it sorted out, but I do think like you say, everyone says things in the heat of the moment they later regret, so try not to beat yourself up about it too much.
2006-07-22 09:47:34 · answer #6 · answered by Jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your writing is really confused and confusing. Were you high at the time that you said this stuff? Are you high now?
People don't say things that they don't mean. They say that they didn't mean it later with some excuse as to why they said it.
Just accept that you felt that way at the time. You may have changed your mind, now.
2006-07-22 09:51:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were hurt by the things that were said, and you lashed back: a perfectly human reaction. Is it right? Is it wrong? It all depends on the circumstances. You are only guilty of being honest with that person and yourself.
2006-07-22 09:47:58 · answer #8 · answered by circle_sabine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we've all done things like these at one time or another; it's part of what being human is all about. just apologize and tell them what was going on at the time that made u do that. after that, it's up to them whether they want to keep talking to u or not. even if they swear they'll never speak to u again, keep in mind that sooner or later ppl get over things and they'll start talking to u again.
2006-07-22 09:59:28 · answer #9 · answered by demonique 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody experiences ill thoughts about a loved one at some point in their relationship, and many voice those feelings. It's normal.
It's also normal to have your own feelings hurt by the same actions against you. At issue is how mature people are to recognize what drove those feelings or remarks, and to work past them.
2006-07-22 09:46:48 · answer #10 · answered by racingcowboy58 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wen u sed these hurtful things it was a reaction!! evry1 says things they dont mean when they are angry or hurt!! Explain this to the person but accept that what you sai was outof order and that yo are sorry for causing them pain!! expain how you love them and then resolve the issue in a mature grown up way
2006-07-22 09:49:02 · answer #11 · answered by Lipzyy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋