Does not talking about your problems make them worse?

Question

I have always been emotional, and sometimes I will get strange ideas in my head. Being aware of this, when people ask me what's wrong I say "Nothing." But the idea eats at me, and I am sure it shows in my actions, and expressions.

Today I opened up to my fiancee. Told him everything that was bothering me. Instead of jeering at me and telling me to stop feeling sorry for myself, he listened, gave me a big hug and told me we are partners. Anytime I feel like a failure, or have tons of bad feelings swirling through me, I should come to him and we'll talk things out...find just what is reality and what is imaginary.

I feel so much better.

Does anyone else out there not talk your problems out, and as a result feel worse, and your friends act wary about you because they know something is wrong and don't know what???

Hello Reno.
I read what you wrote several times and I am still confused.

"i think your question should have read:
"does not NOT talking about your problems make them worse?"

I guess I could have said "Does bottling in problems make you feel worse?"

I really should not have asked this question because it sounds lame, but some people, like me, do bottle up problems and not talk about them for fear of being thought stupid, weak, a ninny...etc

I paced back and forth across the living room today and told my fiancee everything what was going through my mind. How I knew I was probably overreacting, but I was being affected.

And once I let it all out, for the first time in a long time I felt good. Like a load had been lifted from me.

That got me wondering if there were other people out there who were doing exactly what I was doing...and so a Yahoo question was formed...I think from now on I'll stick with answering questions instead of asking them. Thanks Reno.

I reread what I just wrote and was horrified. When I said Thank you Reno, I wasn't being sarcastic. I really thank you for answering my question in such a way that made me realize I am not a very good asker of questions :)

Answer 1

matilda,
i elected to answer this question because i understood it to mean that talking about your problems makes them worse. after reading what you wrote i think your question should have read:
"does not NOT talking about your problems make them worse?"
the answer of course has been given by you.

Answer 2

Actually I never told anyone anything about myself. I feel like people wouldn't underestand but I really never gave anyone a chance. And yes I do feel worse. I think about dying a lot and I cut a lot. I already had 3 suicide attempts. If I were you I would talk to someone right away before the situation gets worse. Good Luck with everything. Also check out this site. It is really helpful.

Answer 3

Like Christine said: "yes sometimes it does make them worse because they eat away at you. and often you can make them go away by talking them through. you did the right thing by talking to your fiancee
today. and see you feel better. you have spent too much of your life around people that didn't care enough to listen to your feelings. and it has made you afraid to talk to the ones who do care. and you should look at this as a turning point for you.
it is important to be able to talk to the man your going to marry.
and you obviously have a good man. so feel good in knowing that. good luck and god bless." i totally agree with her and sorry christine for taking what you said but it makes alot of sense.

Answer 4

yes sometimes it does make them worse because they eat away at you. and often you can make them go away by talking them through. you did the right thing by talking to your fiancee
today. and see you feel better. you have spent too much of your life around people that didn't care enough to listen to your feelings. and it has made you afraid to talk to the ones who do care. and you should look at this as a turning point for you.
it is important to be able to talk to the man your going to marry.
and you obviously have a good man. so feel good in knowing that. good luck and god bless.

Answer 5

Talking about your problems can only make them worse, because your bottling it all on and that will only make the person feel bad and guilty. They make take it out on themselves, which can lead to other things. We all need to talk about what it is were going through. It's good to talk about thing's and get it out in the open.

Answer 6

It helps to talk but only if you have a good listener. Some people are impatient or, even worse, accuse you of whining, etc. That's why so many people go to therapists. I wouldn't spill my guts to acquaintances, if I were you. You may not get a good reaction.

Answer 7

It won't make them worst if you don't talk about, but it won't make it better wither.

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