I 'm so confused ...?

Question

I'm kind of happy with my girlfreind? but my heart is confused ?we ve been together 4 1/2 years now met her in college? now my heart telling me it's not right one? my heart feels like a rubber band in 2 directions ? one feels like i want stay with her other wants go some were else but I dont want hurt her feelings though? be honest please

Answer 1

Maybe you should ask for a break, that way you can see what else is out there for you and in this time you could find out if she is really the one

Answer 2

That's a really hard situation to be in, but if you know you don't want to be with her then you need to do what's best for you in the end.. Because you have to realize that after 4 and a half years not everything is going to be new and exciting still.. Bottom line, being with your girlfriend/boyfriend should make you happy, and if you're distraught more than you're happy then you'll probably both be better off trying something new..
Either way, have a serious discussion with her. If you're up to couple's counseling that might help too. And believe me, she will be glad you "hurt her feelings" now rather than lead her on for another 4 and a half years, so if that's what you feel that you need to do, you should do it.
Give it some serious thought, no one can give you an answer... Good luck!!

Answer 3

be honest please is exactly right. Whenever there is a doubt in your heart you owe it to yourself to explore and find what you are looking for. You have been with her long enough to tell her how you feel it might upset her but really you can't stay in a relationship when your heart starts to feel different and it does happen. You have to go out and try something different and be honest with your girl. Love is happiness and joy but a person heart is not a toy. maybe you just need some alone time to figure out what you really want. Anyway good luck with that and either way you put it after 4 yrs she's going to be hurt

Answer 4

Well Jeff I don't think any one should be kind of happy with their girlfriend or boyfriend. I think you should be totally happy with them, unless you guy's had a fight. I am going to be honest and tell you to go with what your heart feels, so that in the end you will have 1 big rubber band heart, streching in 1 direction for the love you have for who ever, but what ever you do do it in the kindess and best way that you can. ps. wait it out a little longer and if you still feel the same do what I said and go with your heart.

Answer 5

What are the reasons you feel she is not the one? What are your desires and fears? What is it about the current relationship that you are dissatisfied with? What do you feel you lack in staying with her? What are you afraid you will miss out on by not meeting others? Sit with your feelings for a while and see if some answers come to you. I think if you are aware of your feelings it will help you to get some answers. Also, have you taled with her about how you feel? It may not hurt. Before you say how you feel tell her you care enough about the relationship to talk about how you feel and then talk about it. Hope this helps.

Answer 6

Dude it seems like you have out grown her which is O.K. it happens to everyone after college. I would suggest this....tell her how you feel. Tell her you want to go out and experience other people, but you want to be friends. I know, I know that sounds like a cop out but I know you love her as a friend, but you're just not "in love" with her anymore. No sense of wasting her time or your's hoping "the feelings" will come back. They won't...so just move on. It'll be hard at first....but it'll get better.

Answer 7

If your going to break up with her do it now before you waste any more of your life or hers. Tell her that you need time to get your head on straight and that you are having very mixed feelings about your relationship. Just be prepared that if you decide that she is the right one that she may not be there when you get back.

Answer 8

I'm not sure what the question was. You say that you are "kind of happy" with her. If you are going to be with someone, you should be 100% happy with them, espeacially after 4.5 years. I don't think that you should break up with her, I think that you should tell her that you need to think about the relationship. Tell her that you don't know what you want out of life yet, and you need time to "be alone". That will give you time to think about what you want. I don't think it will hurt her feelings too bad, either. Good luck!

Answer 9

You should set her free so that she can find someone else that wants to be with her and as long as she is with you, she won't allow that to happen. Her feelings will probably be hurt, but you will be doing her a greater disservice by staying with her. She will hate you at first, but will someday appreciate your loving her enough to let her go. No one likes to be strung along.

Answer 10

I say be honest with her about how you feel and do what your heart says or you will never be happy. Sure you are going to hurt her feelings but it will pass.