A good friend of mine died last Tuesday. It happened very suddenly and very tragicly. I won't go into details. I didn't find out untill last night, and so missed the memorial that was held Wendsday.
I want to do something to remember my friend. Some small cerimony, some gesture of love and loss, to give me closure... I've known this guy since I was a sophmore in high school. He used to act in my film projects and steal my shoes at lunch. He'd only just graduated high school... people this young arn't supposed to die...
Sorry, I'm... it's hard to type when you're crying.
Any ideas of what I should do? My friend wasn't Christian and neither am I, so I'd like some non-religion-specific way to honor him.
And the first person who tells me he's gone to Hell because he didn't accept Jesus will get a beating so bad your ancestors will feel it. I am in a rather emotional, unstable mood right now and do not feel like argueing with anyone.
2006-07-22 09:08:33 · 23 answers · asked by Girl Wonder 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Leave a pair of your shoes at his memorial/grave site so he can steal one last pair. seems fitting to me.
I'm so sorry for your loss, the world can be unfair but it's what we do with tragedy that matters.
Good luck my friend.
2006-07-22 09:12:44 · answer #1 · answered by ChooseRealityPLEASE 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get a little rag doll that looks like him. Bring it outside and lay it one a small stack of twigs. Sprinkle it with incense and oils and herbs (whatever you like, really, just make sure they smell nice). Then bid him farewell into the next world and let him know you'll be seeing him in time. Then light the stack of twigs on fire. As the doll burns, visualize that the smoke is his spirit asceding into the Heavens, light, peaceful, and beautiful. You may want to sing him a song or say a farewell prayer. Whatever you feel is right will be appropriate.
You'll be alright. These things take some time to get over, but you'll come around. Blessed be.
2006-07-22 16:17:09 · answer #2 · answered by Maria Isabel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what ever the two of you liked to do most together and remember the good and the bad times you had. Write down how knowing him has changed you and touched your life. I am a Christian but I would say do not worry, Sometimes I think that many of us will be surprised in the end. If God is as loving and father like as we are told I believe He will be far more compassionate than you or I know.
Peace Be With You in this time of sorrow.
Debra
2006-07-22 16:13:14 · answer #3 · answered by Debra M. Wishing Peace To All 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you do your own goodbye in whatever way you feel comfortable. Bring some flowers to the river and watch them drift as you "talk" to him and laugh again about stealing your shoes. You can do a lot of things just between you and him. There need not be a demonstration of your sorrow for others to see. This is a private thing for you and your friend. There is no hell so whatever someone writes, just ignore it. He is in a safe great place and looking out over you.
2006-07-22 16:14:52 · answer #4 · answered by antiekmama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have tattoo's, maybe you could get a tattoo in memory of him, i know plenty of people who have done that, obviously no good if you dont do tattoo's.
About the Jesus thing, you can choose Jesus on your death bed and be accepted and forgiven, so no worries on that side of things.
Other good idea's could be to put an article in the local newspaper about him, dedicate him on your website, raise some money for a good cause relevant to him in his name, do something for his family like remember his mum on mothers day. Hope these are a help.
I feel for you, i lost a friend to cancer age 26, it hurts and is hard to understand, but it does get easier with time.
Much Love to you Girl Wonder, your myspace rocks!!!!
Blessings Lilly xxx
2006-07-22 16:27:27 · answer #5 · answered by Lilly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear ot the tragedy, one of the things that was promised about the Messiah to come in Isaiah is that he would heal brolken hearts and we sure need it sometimes
One things you could do is, make a list of the things you appreciated about him and send them to his parents
Younger people, like at a gradeschool will sometimes plant a tree in honor of a child who died, you might do something like that?
Also, if you have something special to remmeber him with maybe give it to them, they are probably crushed.
My babysitter died in a car crash a week before graduation two years ago and we still have a note she left... well... she wrote in a place in our basement on the wall 'Jen was here!" and I guess she was and what was an agravation becamea comfort to remmeber the good things, maybe someday I'll find it again and take a pic of it and send it to her mom
2006-07-22 16:16:18 · answer #6 · answered by whirlingmerc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a "Celebration of Life" get together. My Grandpa did years ago and I learned soooooo much about him I didn't know. Everyone sits around and tells their favorite story of the deceased. And when you wait just a little while after the death...there is more laughter & happy thoughts instead of heart wrenching emotion. Remember you were lucky to have him for a friend even if it was such a short time.
2006-07-22 16:30:31 · answer #7 · answered by Teri 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what you can do. I jst wanted to say thanks for asking, because the answers were uplifting, enlightening and so very kind. i lost a child and I HATED when people would say "it happened for a reason" or "It won't always hurt so bad". So I say grieve. Cry. Turn up sad songs loud. Miss him. Make the most of your life...because now you know, it's a short one and it all matters. And if someone were to ask him why you loved him, he wouldn't have said because I stole her shoes, but it's the little things that we do that make memories...and you never know when you are making one.
2006-07-22 17:09:58 · answer #8 · answered by iknowdiddlysquat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about starting a scholarship fund in his memory? Go to school and find out what the requirements are....every year try to give a "needy" student or a person with "potential" some funds to help them in "his" name; I would make and give his parents a "plant terrarium" that will grow and be a fond reminder....
2006-07-22 16:16:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A nice gesture would be to plant a tree and hang a medal with an inscription on it. Each time you water it, you can have fond thoughts of your friends. I am sorry you are not into Christianity. I just lost a loved one a few months ago and it has been my faith that has made this easier. Please pray and ask God to help you through this.
2006-07-22 16:14:32 · answer #10 · answered by Canadian lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've had two close friends passover. In both cases I planted something as a tribute to them. The physical labor (working in the soil, digging the hole, adding compost, etc) was therapeutic for me and now I can celebrate their lives with life.
I just looked out my window to admire the Rose of Sharon I planted. It is just starting to bloom.
Bright Blessings
2006-07-22 16:21:21 · answer #11 · answered by Pablito 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋