I have 4 children, and 3 of them seem to think that the world owes them a living instead of them going out and bettering themselves by gaining an education and finding employment/better employment. I am so frustrated! My youngest two are the worst -- let the 'State' take care of our support, we don't have to work!!!
2006-07-22 09:02:50 · 13 answers · asked by DragonLoverTX 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tough love.
You have given them every opportunity to go out in the world and make something of themselves. If they choose to live on the streets, so be it.
They are young and healthy (I assume) and can figure something out. However, you must now take care of yourself and worry about your retirement goals.
I know someone who is having the same problem with their youngest son - total slacker. They decided to just cut him off. He has to now figure out a way to make it on his own without any financial support.
There is nothing you can do about this, but sit back and let them choose their own paths from now on.
You have tried your best and should only offer support to them if they truly are trying to better themselves.
2006-07-22 09:10:32 · answer #1 · answered by Sirena 5 · 10⤊ 2⤋
What they fail to realize is that many states are cracking down and are making people get jobs. There are certain things the state will not pay for and without a job, people will find out no one owes them anything and they need to come up with a Plan B on how to pay for these things themselves.
2006-07-22 16:32:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sharing responsibilities starts since early age,u are a family and each of u has to take a part of duties to make things go on.What if for a while u turn down your responsibilities as A MOTHER.Such a critical situation might lead to your children's understanding how important it is oi accomplish your duty.Fot the start make plans & targets(different ones for each member)and start in a competion to aim them(include yourself in the competition).And then follows the score!Just try !Good luck!
2006-07-22 16:26:57 · answer #3 · answered by Barabas M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what my Dad did when one of us turned 18 and thought we can get a free ride out of life....he gave us a choice: either go to school FULL-TIME, get a FULL-TIME job or move out. He would give us a time limit on how long we should take before making a decision and he stuck to it! School is starting in just over a month, tell them they have until then and pack their bags for them come September if they aren't enrolled in school or working full-time. I guarantee, a night on the streets will wake them up awfully fast!
2006-07-22 16:41:01 · answer #4 · answered by gorfette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Were they spoiled as small chilidren? Do you still add to their support? If so, it is time to cut the purse strings. It is also time to cut the support that you give them. Tell them that the world doesnt owe them a living, and its for sure you dont. Then take yourself a vacation and get away from your kids and enjoy.
2006-07-22 16:08:11 · answer #5 · answered by ob10830 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMFG! I can't stand people like that....i dated a looser like that before too. NEway if these 2 are living with you meaning at home kick them the F out! That will shape them up.....AND whatever you do don't help them with "money" problems anymore. (I know you are) Because you're enabling them to be losers!
If they don't shape up...... personally i would disown them as my children. i know it sounds cruel and emotionless.... but what are you going to do? Support these people for the rest of your life just because you gave them life? What happens when you are too old to work. who's gonna help take care of you....they won't because they'll have no jobs!
2006-07-22 16:12:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well when they are 18 let them see how it is to fend for themselves by kicking them out of the house. If you can't do that then charge them rent and don't do their laundry, cooking or cleaning for them and when they are late with their rent give them a surcharge and if that doesn't work evict them give them notice and if they haven't packed then pack for them and have their things waiting at the doorstep for them. The will see it's hard out there on their own and that they can't rely on you to take care of them or for the state to care for them either.
2006-07-22 16:07:06 · answer #7 · answered by cutiepie81289 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let them suffer the consequences of their decisions. Provide no resources whatsoever to ameliorate the effects of their choices.
Let the world teach them, if they won't listen to you.
Best wishes and God bless.
2006-07-22 16:05:53 · answer #8 · answered by bobhayes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I CAN SAY I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM WITH ONE OF MY FOUR. I LOOK BACK NOW AND SEE THAT I AM GUILTY OF HELPING HER BECOME THAT WAY. SHE IS MY FIRST CHILD,I TREAT HER DIFFERENT, NOT SPOILED OR FAVORITISM. JUST DIFFERENT. I SHELTER HER.I WORRY ABOUT HER. I ALLOWED HER TO MOLD INTO THAT PERSON. NOW I HAVE TO FIX IT. LOOK WITH IN YOURSELF AND JUST THINK BACK. I KNOW YOU MAY TAKE THIS AS A HIT AT YOU. BUT I ASSURE YOU IT'S NOT, AT ALL.HOW DO YOU TREAT YOUR OTHER CHILDREN, WHATS DIFFERENT??????? I CAN ONLY SAY THIS BECAUSE I HAVE JUST RESENTLY DISCOVERED IT FOR MYSELF.
2006-07-22 17:08:00 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you failed as a parent form ages 1 to present!
2006-07-22 16:07:27 · answer #10 · answered by Pobept 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋