i argue a lot about what he did. but i also know that we are trying to move on from that. he made a lot of promises to get me back but i feel some time that those promises are not being keep. what should i do. we have kids to think about but i also want to be happy.
2006-07-22 08:43:57 · 27 answers · asked by Mignon26 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you two have kids maybe you should seek counseling so that there are some really specific ways for you two to gain eachothers trust again. If you are members of a church or something many pastors receive a great deal of training in marriage counseling and it's free!
2006-07-22 08:53:09 · answer #1 · answered by psycho-cook 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't have to live that way. It must not be a lot of fun to be you. What would happen to your peace of mind if you were to simply avoid all the arguing and lies (that's what unkept promises are). It can be done. He owes you support for the children and, unless there is a great deal of effort and help, liars seldom stop the lying. You have a right to a peaceful, happy existence. You are worth it. You'll probably not get that living with an arguer and a liar.
2006-07-22 08:52:54 · answer #2 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is a HUGE thing to get back after someone has cheated. Sure you can forgive ( I couldn't ) but I don't think you EVER forget.
You say you have kids to think about so think about this........
Do you want your children to think this is how life is supposed to be? All the fighting yelling and arguing? Do you want them to grow up and live the life you have/had? I didn't get out of a marriage soon enough and now my oldest daughter has married into the same thing I was trying to get out of and I feel if I would of left sooner she wouldn't think it was an acceptable way to live.
2006-07-22 10:04:33 · answer #3 · answered by daydreambeliever0000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
boys will be boys and that is what he is. this is showing you what he does and what he will do to you more in the future. If you want to stick around a put up with his imature ways go on ahead. you will just be wasting your life and remember it is your life you dont owe him a damn thing especially since he is bringing you such pain. He is a embarrasement and if I were you i would find someone else to make me happy. There are lots of men girl you dont have settle for second best. If the mother ****** cant make you number one then dont waste your time. And it seems he is not all that dedicated to his family and is not acting like a real man. Wake up and get real and be a good mother to the ones who are really important in this relationship and that is your kids and you.
2006-07-22 08:52:17 · answer #4 · answered by Cheryl M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me ask you this question why do you set yourself up and take him back. Kids or no kids a guy like that is not worth trusting. You need to be loved the way you want to be loved in a faithful relationship. If he honestly changed he should be home on time and not be wanting to go out with his friends without you. He lost all of the trust of you when he cheated multiple times. Usually once a cheater always a cheater until they lose their sex drive.
2006-07-22 08:49:31 · answer #5 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lewis Smedes wrote a book entitled "'Forgive and Forget" In it he contends that only the BIG thing need forgiving (Little things, like stepping on your toes, need only a simple apology) We are encouraged to forgive others because Jesus said it was the right thing to do - and it relieves us of the burden of anger. However, in order to restore relationship with the person who wronged us deeply that person needs to express remorse - with an understanding of our hurt - and with the intention to never do that again. Only then should we cozy up to such a person. Dr Phil contends that "the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior" He should have to earn his way back into your good graces.... but don't expect that to happen. Let the fellow go and find someone who shows you respect.
2006-07-23 01:32:15 · answer #6 · answered by hlnrth 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a jerk and you will do better. You would be better off alone then with someone who has so little respect for himself that he can't have any for you. Get out, get child support, and raise those kids. Sad, that you knew all of this about him before you had the kids, and now you've drug them along with you into it. Shake it off, and move on. At least, your kids wont learn that it's okay to be dishonest with the people who you are supposed to love the most. Good Luck :) God Bless!!
2006-07-22 08:48:40 · answer #7 · answered by fromdheart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you see is what you get. and much like most people you are proned to put up with somthing someone does becuase your affraid of the unknown such as will the nest person love me or how long will i have to go with out a boyfriend.. im sure 20 years from now youll be telling your duaghter about how a guy like this isnt good. what would you say to the future mini me of yourself?? your gonna hurt if you break up , but are you not hurting and wigged out every time you think he is in a positin to cheat on you? the lonely feeling is temporary but what you choose to be with long term brings long term pain good luck and remeber guys are a dime a dozen but good ones still exist it is your job to find mr right
2006-07-22 08:53:45 · answer #8 · answered by joe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, in this case try speaking with him about everything once again and tell him everything that you feel, also tell him about the kids because they are of course part of the family! Check if he's serious about everything, if not, you'll have to end it because it'll all fall back right where it started. Best of Luck! ~V.J.~
2006-07-22 08:47:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made your decision by choosing a sleezeball playa. Now live with it.
There are plenty of nice guys who would've loved, respected and remained completely faithful to you, but you wanted a bad boy.
So now, you reap what you sow. STFU and just pray that he doesn't bring home an STD and get you infected.
2006-07-22 08:48:37 · answer #10 · answered by whytedunker1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋