I am in love with one of my best friends but apparently she does not feel that way about me how ever she has been really understanding and sweet about it and we still hang out a lot. I can't get her out my head and all I wish is to be with her more than just friends. I don't know how to move on and forget her since first of all she has not been mean to me and more than that we are good friends. I don't want to be with others because I believe I would not be fair to any girl since I am in love with someone else ? have u been in this situation ever ?
2006-07-22 08:34:41 · 18 answers · asked by bandari 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
"Apparently she does not feel that way about me" doesn't sound like you are really sure she doesn't present the opportunity for more than friendship in the future. Does she say so? Does she go out with someone else regularly? If you feel so strongly about her, I wouldn't lose hope until I saw some strong evidence that you are out of the picture. If you haven't already, you might even make your case for a future for the two of you. The worst thing would be to find out some time in the future that she was going through the same thinking on her side and thought you didn't like her enough.
But if you do see that evidence clearly, then you will simply have to endure what many have endured before you and let time, the thief who steals everything eventually, take care of it. As for forgetting her, don't even try. The heart forgets what it wants to and remembers what it wants to, and it is not all bad to remember some of that feeling for someone you loved. Your future without her is not as hopeless as it may seem at the moment. The chances are that after a while you will meet someone you like even better. I think it is all right to keep a little bit of your feeling for her in a secure corner somewhere (a bit of feeling but no mementos), on the theory that all real love is valuable, not to be tossed out, and you will be a fuller person, better able to deal with all things in the near and distant future. You will still be able to give your love to someone else, perhaps with even greater understanding and appreciation.
2006-07-22 10:03:17 · answer #1 · answered by haroldpohl2000 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately, I have been there, and here are some suggestions from someone who HAS been really hurt.
1) Sit her down and explain to her how you feel. Listen to what she has to say in response.
2) IF she doesn't feel the same way, you need to tell her how hard and how frustrating this is for you. Explain to her that, while you value the friendship that you share with her, you need to put some distance between you.
3) Make her understand that it's not her fault. Sometimes, love can be unreciprocated, and it's nothing that either of you did wrong.
4) After that part is taken care of, TAKE YOUR SPACE. Do not drive by her house, do not call her "just to talk", and do not go out of your way to run into her. You need to give yourself as much time as you need to get over this.
5) If there are, or have been, any sexual relations between you, it needs to stop.
6) After you have put your distance between the two of you, do something for yourself. You may not be ready to meet people, but that's okay. No one expects you to be. Go out with your male friends, go out with your parents, or take up a new hobby.
The only thing that's going to get you over everything is time, but those things can help make the time move much faster. I'm sorry that you're going through this. I know how much it hurts to love someone, but they don't love you in return.
From my experience, though, this is the best way to do it.
Good luck to you, hun.
2006-07-22 08:43:40 · answer #2 · answered by <3 The Pest <3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello there...you sound like you may have already taken the first step and was honest with her about your feelings for her. This is posative, er reaction shows a true love and appreciation for you. She values your friendship this is also posative, it is possable to love someone, enjoy their company, and want the best for someone even if you are not destined to be married. She may have a differant vision of her mate, this doesn't say that their is anything wrong with you just that your not ment to be together...because she cannot fit you into her picture. She may have entertained the idea and tried to fit you into it as you are her...but yes but you cannot fit hers. There are differant kinds of soul mates some are the type we connect with that you cannot explain it but you could grow old as friends for life and some who enter your life to be the key to a new understanding of yourself. Yes I have had a relationship like this...Iove him to this day, he's wonderful and everything I would hope for in a husband, funny, creative, a dancer, spontanious, gentle with youngsters and animals, stands up for equality, loving with his mother, anyway I could go on, but I tried to have him fit into walking down the isle in my mind and I couldn't. I love him to this day and when we talk it's like no time passed and I can really be myself around him. I think of him and want the best for him even with another woman...that is love and friendship. I think you should give eachother some space and see where it leads. In my life I would wanna marry my best friend but it would have to feel just right on both ends.
2006-07-22 08:55:10 · answer #3 · answered by Ms. Inquisitive 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i have been in this situation... Se life teaches you everything... You dont have to do anything specific here... Just be what you are and and learn to be happy about present... you never know what life have for the very next moment in its store... Just start loving yourself... So dont think too much about her... Remain her best friend and she will realize your worth some day... This is what has happened with me but unfotunately when she realized that she really love me then may be it was a lil too late coz at that time i found my gal in my best friend who told me all this... so take care... You never know what might happen the next moment...
2006-07-22 08:44:17 · answer #4 · answered by DrAgOn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you think would she react if you send her flowers and write poems for her, really engulf her in your feelings?
If non of that works, look for someone else to get your head out of that hopeless wishing.
I once did that until it almost made me sick with longing. I swore I'd never do that again. One-sided love is the worst thing you can become victim to. But it's up to YOU to take care of that.
If you stay in that without doing anything about it, you are just a masochist who can't be helped.
2006-07-22 08:43:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I have been in this situation.
Yes, it is tough, but you do need to move on. In reality, if she likes you, but does not "like" you, you are done. If you want to be friends then continue to do so, but know this, you are going to have to shoulder the burden of reining in your feelings.
She has been honest and up front with you already about how she feels and unlike the movies, people rarely change. If you can not handle watching her flirt, chat and date people, then maybe some time apart to heal (No contact, no outings, no email, phone or texting) could help you get over your unrequited love.
It hurts, but you will move on, it's up to you and you alone to decide how long you choose to let this affect you.
Good luck!
2006-07-22 08:41:46 · answer #6 · answered by Khalen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The heart wants what it wants... and I feel your pain. Sometimes we have to accept that being friends is better than having no relationship. A piece of your heart may always belong to her and that's what makes life so hard... but don't be closed to other people coming into your life. And who knows, in the future maybe she will change her mind... stranger things have happened!
2006-07-22 08:38:57 · answer #7 · answered by KPatrick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in a similar situation. Forget her.. try to look at her like a friend and nothing more
2006-07-22 08:40:33 · answer #8 · answered by europe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you need is strong alcohol, and good friends to pour it down you at the proper dosage until you incur JUUUST enough memory loss to take the edge off...
2006-07-22 08:41:04 · answer #9 · answered by gokart121 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time. Just give yourself some time. I don't think you ever get over a true love, but it becomes easier to handle.
2006-07-22 08:38:12 · answer #10 · answered by PariahMaterial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋