I have 2 friends - real friends - who tell me each time I talk to them, "you have got to come over sometime". I think it's rude to then tell them what day and time I'll be over, so I don't respond. I think if they really wanted me over, they'll give me specifics.
But am I correct? Or is this the new way of inviting a good friend over? Am I being too formal?
2006-07-22 08:28:40 · 25 answers · asked by Janis H 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I think what they are saying is just a generic way of saying they want to hang out with you. In my experience, people I don't know as well will say that, rather than specifying when. Maybe this is because they are nervous, or simply because since they don't know you they don't know your schedule.
If they are really good friends of yours, I think they are just being casual. Maybe next time they say that, you could respond with something like, "ok. i'm not busy this Friday, what are you up to then?" So that way, the ball is still in their court, you are tellling them when you are free but stopping short of inviting yourself over.
If they are your friends, they won't mind, whatever you say. :)
2006-07-22 08:33:54 · answer #1 · answered by ♫ Abby ♫ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In this day and age a lot of people are less formal. A good way to deal with this is the next time they say "You have got to come over some time" just reply "well, I'd love to but I don't want to just drop in you might be in the shower or on your way out etc." At that point they should reply with a time or idea about exactly when you should come over i.e. after the game, after school Friday etc.
Some people are afraid to offer a "formal" invitation because they think they'll be held to real formal ideas of entertaining you! They will think gee whiz if I invite them over I've got to feed them, offer them drinks, and provide something entertaining to do.
I like formal invitations myself but sometimes younger people kind of have to get used to issuing them. Good Luck
2006-07-22 09:23:25 · answer #2 · answered by psycho-cook 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe they don't want to impose a specific time on you. If you don't want to give them a specific day and time, try saying something like "OK, when should I come?"
If they're still not really great at giving a time, try figuring out a good time for both of you, or call up some day when you're feeling bored, and if they ask you to come over, say you might do it if it's OK for them then.
2006-07-22 08:41:14 · answer #3 · answered by ye_river_xiv 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The beauty of close friends is that there is no formality. It's all casual and easygoing. Next time they say "you have got to come over sometime" you say "How's (insert date and time)?" That way you're asking, not telling, so you won't feel like you're being rude.
2006-07-22 11:02:07 · answer #4 · answered by Mollywobbles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree - if they'd intended to have you over they would have surely fixed a date by now. Perhaps you should take the bull by the horns and organize something yourself to break the little bit of frost that seems to have settled. If you're formal, so what? Your friends should accommodate you...but then I don't know them so I'll shut up!
2006-07-22 08:37:14 · answer #5 · answered by zoomjet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard the phrase as well, and it generally means that their door is open to you. So, the ball is really in your court. If you'd like to go visit sometime, I'd wait until I knew when it would be a good time for me. Then I'd phone and say something like, "Hey, you want some company tomorrow?" (Or next Sunday, or whenever you're available.)
2006-07-22 08:36:07 · answer #6 · answered by Mike S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds a bit formal of you to me . . why not say "how about saturday around six p.m.? is that good for you?" . . . they obviously want you to come over or they wouldn't say it (I sure as heck wouldn't tell someone to come over if I didn't want them here at all . . lol) So basically, are you asking if a day and time is good, not telling them . . . give it a try!
2006-07-22 08:35:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. If they truely want you to visit then they will give you a date and time. Asking you to come over right this minute would be such an invitation.
I have tried for many years to stop my wife from using "empty graciousness" with others. Naturally, being male, I have failed. "You just don't understand how it is for women" seems to be her justification.
2006-07-22 08:37:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Americans say "sometime" when they wish to be friendly, but without making an actual date or appointment.
If they want to specifically invite you, they will make themselves clear.
You might try inviting them to your place, first, and see if they respond in kind.
2006-07-22 08:33:54 · answer #9 · answered by silvercomet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means what it means...stop by sometime. No time or date needed. If I were you, I'd give them a call before going over there (just in case)...but just say something like, "Hey, I'm in your neighborhood and thought I'd stop by for a few minutes..."
2006-07-22 08:34:11 · answer #10 · answered by seattlecutiepie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋