Ok I love my bf and we been together for 8 month, but lately, he start talking about how girls are looking at him, and they are trying to talk to him. The problem is that I use to have a lot of guys friend before I meet him, but after he ask me to not talk to them I stop, know all of a sudden he wants to have a friend and when I say go head have a friend he will say I am just kidding, and when I ask him were are u going he will say why u don’t trust me why do u have to know everything I do??? I don’t think he is cheating but I don’t know or trying to make me jealous???
2006-07-22 08:18:38 · 16 answers · asked by sweet84 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok first off, I would never get rid of my friends for a man. Simply because of two things:
1. You don't know if this guy is going to be forever. And if he's not you'll have ditched your friends, and be out of a boyfriend. Then you're left alone, but he's still got his friends.
2. He's not worth it. A real man has no problem with trusting his girlfriend or wife with their friends. He should be confident enough to trust that you would not cheat on him. Because when he asks you to get rid of them, he's not saying he doesn't trust them... he's saying he doesn't trust you with them. And a relationship must be built on trust.
As far as him trying to make you jealous, I couldn't tell you. Honestly, this guy doesn't sound like he started off too well. Sounds like he got off the boat short a piece of luggage, ya know?
My advice: If you truly believe that he may be trying to make you jealous, then don't feed into it. The best cure for jealousy is apathy. If he's really not doing anything but trying to make you jealous, just act like you don't care. Even if it's eating up on the inside. Because all he's trying to do is get under your skin, and when he sees it's not working, he'll have to stop. If he sees a woman and makes a comment on how hot she is, agree with him and let it go. Also, don't be attached at the hip. If at all possible, try to work your friends back into the equation. It's not selfish to have friends and if he tries to make you feel that way, he's a jerk. Let him know on a night when he say's he's going to hang out with his friends, that you're doing the same. Turn the tables on him. He won't like how it feels. And if he really wants to be with you he'll realize what he's doing is wrong. However, my advice on the cheating, if you truly believe he isn't cheating then keep that. Don't let someone sway you or plant the idea in your head. You know what you see. And don't start accussing him of cheating if you don't have proof. A lot of the time when you make accusations and they're not, it pushes them away to go and do it. Regardless of what you do, make sure you always guard your heart and don't be afraid to have a life of your own. Because if you're wrong and this guys isn't the one, you don't want to be out of everything.
Best Wishes!
2006-07-22 08:41:42 · answer #1 · answered by PseudoQuasiX 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This one of those situations that you need CHEATERS for. One of the most common signs of a cheater is they start getting suspicious of you and your friends. It seems that him asking you if you don't trust him is a test for you, because if you say yes and he is cheating then it is kind of a go ahead because he knows you aren't going to be lurking around the corner, but if you say no he is going to ask you why and you have no reason right?! What I would do is turn the situation around on him. If he is going out with his friend then you go out with yours. If you don't have any call up the old ones that you stopped talking to just for him, or make some new ones. See what happens from there. Good luck in your search for the answer!
2006-07-22 15:30:24 · answer #2 · answered by Kristy C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rule number 1. NEVER give up your friends for a boyfriend. Sweetie, you should never sacrifice friendship for anyone. He shouldn't have asked or expected you to do that. What happens when you and he breakup? You think those friends are going to be waiting for you?
He is playing games with you is what he is doing. Your suppose to answer to him, but he says "don't you trust me."
Don't take this from him. You are much better than that. Go find a new boyfriend that doesn't make demands on you.
2006-07-22 15:48:02 · answer #3 · answered by Cyndee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds fishy. If someone ever asks you to give up your friends, usually means that they get jealous and are really possessive. They are usually like that because they themselves cheat because they expect everyone else to act as they do. So chances are he is doing something he shouldn't. especially when he gets defensive about telling you where he is going. That is a perfectly legitimate question.
2006-07-22 15:23:37 · answer #4 · answered by hotchic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he is testing the waters with you to view your reaction and how confident you are in yourself. He may be scared and is questioning his relationship with you. This is something to reflect back to him. You are not a mind reader so it may be a good thing to ask him what he is asking of you and where he is coming from. Be honest about how you feel about him and how you feel around him you are just seeking the truth and you care about him. He may be insecure and DOES want to see you get upset and or jealous...that is why you need to have him clarify with you where he is coming from. Respect yourself you don't need to deal with a roller-coaster ride. If he is insecure it is his problem not yours. But you can work things out if he confronts his own insecurity and is honest with you about how he feels which begins with open receptability for communication from you, opening the door for him to be vulnerable. If he isn't receptive and plays games...get outta there quick. Also it is healthy to have male friends and vise versa...but people have to be clear on their intentions and your own. Use your in-stinks with people...I bet you have good ones.
2006-07-22 15:35:37 · answer #5 · answered by Ms. Inquisitive 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He shouldn't have asked you to stop seeing your other male friends unless
you really were fooling around with them.
If he is asking you for permission to have female friends (vs. lovers),
I think your answer should be along the lines of "Only if I can have male
friends".
If you don't trust each other, this relationship is going nowhere fast anyways.
2006-07-22 15:24:53 · answer #6 · answered by Elana 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's just trying to play with your head...it's only been 8 months...get rid of him and find someone who appreciates you!
2006-07-22 15:22:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that he is just telling you that other girls are talking/hitting on him so that you know and that you should trust him b/c he is not acting on any of the gestures.
2006-07-22 15:22:45 · answer #8 · answered by RainCloud 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is defiently trying to make u jealous!!! He is just wanting to see what your reaction to be. Maybe he feels that u dont care about him and he is just trying to get some attention.
2006-07-22 15:30:00 · answer #9 · answered by luvinmjc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is cheating on you you need to follow him and actually see what he is doing. But I think he is cheating on you...
2006-07-22 15:34:43 · answer #10 · answered by Kayli (: 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋