Well my bf and i have been together over a year and he recently cheated on me last month. He feels horrible about what he did. And realized im the true woman for him. I cant picture my life without him in it. Were truley inlove. My hearts been aching because i dont know if i should leave like i should, or stay because my love for him is so strong that i feel it might be a mistake if i leave... What should i do??
2006-07-22 07:42:50 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Only you can decide that, but he needs to know that if you do stay with him, he had better not do that again. If he does, you need to leave him immediately or he will think he can get away with it even if you find out.
2006-07-22 07:45:48 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt Honesty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was obviously only thinking about what he wanted and not what he was doing to you. You will never be able to fully trust him again. Do you really want to spend your life with a man who will always make you wonder?
I would leave him and find someone who doesn't cheat. How many times will he cheat and repent before you realize that he will never change? I know it was only one time - supposedly. Perhaps it is just the one time you caught him.
Look at the rest of your relationship. Have there been other little lies or cover ups that seemed insignificant at the time?
If you truly want to stay with him then get counseling, because in the long run you will definitely need it.
2006-07-22 07:47:40 · answer #2 · answered by TMH 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can answer your question. Trust is very important in a relationship. The lack of it creates a tremendous amount of strain in ones heart as well as deep rooted pain. Unfortunately there are a substantial amount of men (and women too) who cheat on their supposedly loved ones. It take a whole lot of maturity and a nominal amount of respect for one to stay true. Most of them feel that its OK if they can get away with it. I have always said that one should stop and ask themselves these two question first. Do I willingly want to do something that I know will hurt them so much? Would it hurt me if they did it to me?
Usually if they do it once they will do it again...so there.
If you are going to forgive him (and I suspect you will), here is a suggestion you might try. You simply cannot let yourself become a repeated
victim. I suggest you spend some time away from him so he can realize that you are seriously hurt. Also so he can realize that he cannot take you for granted and step on your heart because it's easy and he can. Express to him that actions speak louder than words and if you cannot trust him then the relationship has no value. You deserve better. You must be serious and absolutely mean this. Spending some time away from him will give you a chance to evaluate your priorities and learn not to be so dependent of him. The time away is mostly for your benefit. It will also drive home to him how serious you are. If he cannot accept this...or dose not show true remorse, then he will have revealed his true character.
Its up to you to maintain your self respect. It is much better in your hands than in others. "To thine own self be true".
2006-07-22 08:25:43 · answer #3 · answered by Robere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he cheated once he will cheat again, no matter how horrible he says he feels. I think if a man really and truly loves his partner he would not cheat in the first place. And if he cheated on you just to prove to himself that you are the true woman for him, he probably does not know what he wants in the first place. You may love him but the pain of him cheating again might be worse then leaving him.
2006-07-22 07:50:52 · answer #4 · answered by Alanna F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave, once a cheater always a cheater. It might be a lot of pain to end it now but I think it will save you a lot of pain and anguish in the long run. You can find someone else who will respect you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Good luck and I truly hope things get better for you :-)
2006-07-22 07:45:32 · answer #5 · answered by dmc81076 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes even the best of us make mistakes..is it really in your heart to forgive him? you need to set boundary's and realize that trust is a very big issue and if that is gone then so is your future w/ him..if you can get over this it just might bring you two closer than ever
2006-07-22 07:48:05 · answer #6 · answered by SHONI L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in your situation and I know its hard but you have to leave because he'll cheat again. I know you don't want to hear it probably but that's whats gonna happen if you stay and you'll just be miserable
2006-07-22 07:47:11 · answer #7 · answered by Pretty Brown Eyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both were truly in love, maybe you need to find out if it is you that he was truly in love with. I would have a hard time believing that he was in love with you. You need to know that there in the back of your mind there will always be a trust issue.
2006-07-22 07:47:57 · answer #8 · answered by themogleclan@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*Rubs head* Don't be ignorant. If he cheats on you, then it's obvious that the two of you are not in love "together."
However, reguardless of what answers you're going to get, you're still going to stay with him. It's unhealthy, not to mention downright sad, but if I know women (and I do...) you're going to stick with him anyway.
2006-07-22 07:52:37 · answer #9 · answered by Axel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Sweetie!!! Your a guys best dream come true.....I cheat and you take me back....cause I just realised that your my one true love....of course...until the next hot chick comes along...but hey!! I'm not worried....I just look sad...say I'm sorry...and you will take me back.
Get real girl...once a cheater always a cheater....and on the most important days of your life.....the memory of his being unfaithful will come into your head....can you live like that?
2006-07-22 07:47:31 · answer #10 · answered by werk2much2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋