My mom drove by early this morning and saw his car there. They are very conservative, religious people and are very upset and disappointed with me. I'm just about to move away for college and now they are threatening to withrdraw their financial support. Without that I'm screwed. I'm so upset, what can I do? This is my nightmare come true. Please help me, thank you.
2006-07-22 07:40:37 · 44 answers · asked by dandelion86 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think you need to have a talk with your parents...they have no right to tell you what to do at your age. If they pull their support get a better job and do it yourself...there are so many who work their way thru colllege
2006-07-22 07:42:52 · answer #1 · answered by Texas_at_its_best 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is actually quite simple to answer. You have two choices:
1. As long as they're supporting you, you must live by their rules (whether you're living at home or not) and play the game their way.
OR
2. Support yourself and you can do whatever you want.
I understand that you were 'caught' and you must be pretty upset. I think if I were in your shoes, I'd have to be honest (somewhat) and admit that he did spend the night ...because he was too tired to drive home or something. You don't need to tell them the details of your sex life, of course. Tell them that it was a mistake and it won't happen again. That is, tell them this if you still want their financial support. I think I'd try to keep their help, if I were you. Money's hard to come by and if you've got someone willing to hand it over to you, you've got a good thing. Try to keep it going. School is expensive, living is expensive ...life is expensive. When you talk with them, remain calm and mature. Show them that you're not a little screaming child ...you're a mature woman who's living her life decently and morally.
2006-07-22 08:00:00 · answer #2 · answered by Answers to Nurse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're old enough to live by yourself...you're old enough to take the consequences of your actions. Your parents don't have to support you. Your life is your own to live, but if you were depending on them to pay for your education, you probably should have lived by their rules a little longer. You better have a serious reasonable talk with them...see if you can come to any kind of an agreement about the financial support issue. If not, start looking for work. Most colleges have excellent work/study programs. Don't give up your education because you think you can't pay for it---there's lots of help out there.
2006-07-22 07:43:47 · answer #3 · answered by MOM KNOWS EVERYTHING 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch. Delicate situation. You can always say that you guys were up all night talking and watching movies (even if it isn't true). Then you have to listen to them lecture you about being careful because if you put yourself in a tempting situation things can get out of hand and it looks bad to the neighbors, etc. While it's none of their business, they are giving you financial support so they are still going to believe that they have a say in your life.
Without knowing your parents, I can't tell you that complete honestly is the best policy. With my own conservative father, a little pretending was a better policy for us. It made him happier, and me less uncomfortable.
2006-07-22 07:51:25 · answer #4 · answered by neanah_e 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 20, your life and what you do with it is your business and yours alone, your parents need to let you go, realize you are an adult and let you live, make your own mistakes and learn just as they did, just as we all do, they may not always approve of all your choices, but they can't control you either, all that'll do is form a bridge between you and your parents that could take years to cross, if ever. I wish you all the best and hope you are able to heal this with your parents. God Bless.
2006-07-22 07:50:28 · answer #5 · answered by Daydream Believer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, dont hide anything from them, cuz then when they find out they are going to be even more pissed! Let them know that you realize what you did was wrong and that you feel really guilty about it. Make sure you let them know that you feel guilty about having them lose their trust in you. Also let them know that from now on that you will never let your boyfriend spend the night. Make sure you let them know that college is important to you and that they ahould not stop helping you because of this. All I can recommend you is to suck up, kiss ***, and just beg that they forgive you. But also, let them know thast you are an adult and that you have a right to do what you want.
2006-07-22 07:45:44 · answer #6 · answered by tweety_lover_757 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is difficult...now there isn't much that you could do...just talk to your parents and tell them that this is about your own future and in fact about your life...i guess you should wait until dinner..that's the best moment...try to look very confident and act very grown-up, in this way you will show them that you are responsible and you are a big girl;)
Good luck and don't lose your hope!it's gonna be all right!
2006-07-22 07:47:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it looks like you got screwed twice then doesnt it?
Knowing what your parents are like and that you are financially dependent on them why would you take the chance and so something so stupid?
You can go to your parents...plead for their understanding and forgiveness and continue taking their money.
Or you can live your own life...get a job...and support your own college career.
2006-07-22 07:44:58 · answer #8 · answered by werk2much2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's none of their business, is it? Your an adult, and live on your own, so you can take care of your self. So, tell them that! You're old enough to make your own choices, and they need to know that. Tell them that you did nothing with each other, and you guys were just talking and hanging out (even if you weren't ;]). Explain to them what would happen if you didn't have their financial support, and how badly you need it. Esplain to them that you love them with all your heart, but they need to stay out of your business. Good luck!
2006-07-22 07:47:28 · answer #9 · answered by ♥ Pwnd! At The Disco ♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a parent and I can understand how you feel and how parents must have felt. I am sorry but your parents actions is to rotect you from harm so that your future is going to be as good or better. Right now, they lost their TRUST and it is up to you to make it up up for them. First apologize, admit your mistake and promise them that you will not violate their trust. Remember though that it is your future and your well being that is important to them. Goodluck and I hope this nightmare will pass using your discretion and abilities.
2006-07-22 07:48:03 · answer #10 · answered by trykindness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 20 years old, and you can do whetever you want to do, without them beeing controlling. You should talk to them, and tell them your point of view. You are not doing anything wrong here, but they're worried about you and your future. I really don't think they will withdraw your financial support, it is just a treat..
Good luck, and have a nice day!
John
2006-07-22 07:47:45 · answer #11 · answered by Scorpion 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋