who knows these personal ad translations?

Question

adventurous=has had more partners then you ever will
artist=unreliable
athletic=flat chested
beautifal=pathological liar
contagious smile=bring your own penicillian
emotionally secure=medicated
enjoys art and opera=snob
exotic beauty=would frighten a martian
feminist=fat, ball buster
free spirit=substance user
friendship first=trying to live down reputation as s-l-u-t
fun=annoying
gentle=comatose
in transition=needs new sugar daddy to pay bills
looks younger=if viewed from far away in bad light
loves travel=if your paying
loves animals=cat lady
mature=will not let you treat her like a farm animal in bed like last boyfriend did
new age=hair all over
old fashioned=lights out, missionary position only
open minded=desperate
poet=depressive schizophrenic
professional=b-i-t-c-h
redhead=uses hair dye
reubenesque=hugely fat
romantic=looks better in candlelight
self employed=jobless
special=took the short school bus
spiritual=involved with a cult
tall, thin=anorexic

Answer 1

You're a man who thinks the world revolves around him right?

I thought so.

Answer 2

Есть предмет,линия в виде буквы S h - я t и игральная кость!

Answer 3

those are kinda old sweetpea and some of them don't make sense sorry sorry sorry check ya later ♥