depending on how long you were broken up for, was it ever the same when you got back together? was it worse or was it better?
say you didn't feel the same about them, but, for instance, you had a child together and he has changed so much for the better, do you think it is possible to learn to love them again after time?
2006-07-22 07:05:53 · 5 answers · asked by Jan 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My thoughts on this is that people don't really change without serious intensive therapy and sometimes medication. If it didn't work out the first time, then it won't likely the next. I know it's hard when you have a child and you want the "normal" family, but you have to realize that you also must be happy. A relationship that's built on mistrust and hurt, is not healthy and your child (even though they don't know it) will pick up on it. There are millions of people in the world, don't narrow your perspective and think that he's the only one. He's not. You can find someone that has every quality you desire, and more. Someone that you won't break-up with because you love him so much you couldn't imagine life without him. He's out there, but you'll never know unless you look.
My suggestion - write a list of all the things you want in someone (i.e. funny, smart, ambitious, trustworthy etc.) Keep it with you and when you start dating someone look for all those things. Be forgiving of course because it's hard to have everything, but it should be in your mind always.
I don't think love should ever be "learned" either. Make the break, stay strong and move on. Use your support system to get you through this! You can do it!!
2006-07-22 07:13:49 · answer #1 · answered by Rayslittlegurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me myself have been down that road my ex and I have a child together and we tried getting back together a least twice and he'd changed for the better also but for some reason I can't get over completely what I've gone through when we were together. Maybe he has changed but you have to make that call no one else can for you. But I do know is that it didn't work for me at all. Family or no family. I did realize that I loved him for my child but nothing more. It was just hard for me to love him for me that's all.
2006-07-22 14:18:15 · answer #2 · answered by bluebird33444 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, because so much of love is trust, it takes time to rebuild trust that he will be there for the future. And I'm not just assuming there was some violation of trust - that's true also of breaking the shared dream that is a relationship.
Work together on rebuilding a solid future and work together on overcoming your previous problems.
I'm in a similar situation. Good luck!
2006-07-22 14:13:55 · answer #3 · answered by justwebbrowsing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you can't learn to love someone. Love is from the heart and if you don't love him then find someone you can love. And I've never met anyone that has said it got better they always say it got worse!
2006-07-22 14:12:24 · answer #4 · answered by the_answer_man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think it is possible, but will you stray? Can you trust yourself? If you think you will ultimately be happy, and he will be nice to you, do it.
2006-07-22 14:12:13 · answer #5 · answered by hi t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋