She came to me when she decided to divorce. I took care of everything from her paperwork, to her expenses and let her stay with us. I took her to the community college to meet a counselor there so she could go back to school, and helped her with her budget. Then she decides to move in with a friend, and we did offer our home permanently for free. When she moved she told me that she was "helping her friend out with insurance money", and when I shopped with her she always spends ALOT, even more then me. A month after she moved out she calls MY HUSBAND and asks for a loan, not me. When she came to get the money I told her it was my money too and it was disrespectful not to ask me also. Also, because I know she is not responsible with her money, and I spent my time trying to help her. And she came to me before for help. Now we're not talking and I'm really pissed. Am I justified? Is this childish and I should get over it? What do I do from here? I hate apologizing!
2006-07-22 07:01:20 · 8 answers · asked by Rayslittlegurl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I also was mad at my husband. I gave him the 3rd degree, and I think he knows better now. You are right that he should have told me, and I think he knew I would say no. Which is no excuse - and sneaky at that. However, I think my husband and I have resolved it. But nothing is resolved with the sister-in-law. At this point I just ignore whenever she comes over. I think she's telling my parents-in-law about this though which bothers me since I spent time building repoire (sp?) with them.
2006-07-22 07:33:59 · update #1
i think its your husband who should have consulted w/ u before agreeing to the loan- but I also think you've done enough for her and its time she gets on her own two feet. Just let it go and don't give her anything else but moral support- and talk to your husband about consulting w/ you BEFORE making any major decisions. good luck- i know family matters can be complicated...
2006-07-22 07:07:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
YOu are very justified in the way you feel. She did you wrong but I would send her a note stating you are sorry for anything you did that may have caused any hurt, ask for her forgiveness and then let it all go. That may be just the thing that can get her to think about the way she treated you and get her to come to you to ask for forgiveness too. Even if you did no wrong, which sometimes we do not see, we should still be the first to try to make amends and if they do not want to do their part, it is on their head then, not yours. IF she decides that she wants nothing more to do with you, respect her wishes and go on with your life without her and eventually she will either come back and apologize or stay clear of you, either way will be a blessing in disguise.
2006-07-22 07:09:26 · answer #2 · answered by ramall1to 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not childish on your part, although it certainly is on hers. There is only so much you can do to help out family before you have to either cut them off or end up on one of those small claims court TV shows, and I think the time has come to cut your sister off. She's not going to learn anything if you keep saving her every time she screws up her life. It's harsh, but true. My sister is almost in the same position, and she's living at home with my parents now and my MOM has to pay her bills because she has no idea how to budget.
2006-07-22 07:05:36 · answer #3 · answered by Julia L. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a problem a lot like yours. My sister in-law is older than my husband and me, yet my husband always helps her out. She too will go to her brother and not me. (I would say no and she knows that.) I think you are 100% in the right. Who cares if she is pissed. Believe me she will need you before you need her.
Honey I so understand......
2006-07-22 07:52:07 · answer #4 · answered by angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your Husband is E A S Y , gullible, whatever and should have told his sister to go to the bank for a loan. Your husband should have talked it over with you before telling her yes, you should be mad at him too.
2006-07-22 07:23:12 · answer #5 · answered by arvecar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it was disrespectful that she didn't ask you maybe she didn't want the lecture. Just call her, if yall were friends before this then it shouldn't matter its just money, but you rerally can't do the friends and money thing
2006-07-22 07:07:16 · answer #6 · answered by Rondi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes your justified u should talk to your husbend about it
2006-07-22 07:05:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ADVICE...dON'T EVER HELP A SIS-IN LAW....
2006-07-22 07:08:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋