a handful she always needs to be the loudest in the room and wants her father's attention at all times. When he isn't around she behaves but as soon as he enters the room she acts horrible. When I speak to my boyfriend he just brushes it off and says she's his kid and I shouldn't worry about it. He says that he wants a mother figure in his daughter's life since her real mother died in a car accident but that's as much as he'll tell me about his ex-girlfriend's death. I love him but i'm not in love with him because of the way he acts and the way his daughter acts. I broke up with him 4 separate times and took him back because, he's come back crying and makes the situation seem sad so I take him back. But I don't know if cutting my ties with him will be the best thing or trying one more time to stick it out with him would be good?
2006-07-22 06:10:19 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think cutting the ties is the best situation for you. He's not being honest with you and not addressing the issues with his daughter. I don't think this will change. Obviously, his "baggage" includes a lot more than a carry-on bag. You need to put him in your rearview mirror and move on with your life.
2006-07-22 06:15:51 · answer #1 · answered by clarity 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I've been in this situation also. If you decide to stay with him, then he's going to have to understand that even though she's his daughter, you're going to have to correct her. If he can't deal with that, then cut your losses right there. If you can't control an 8 year old girl now, then they'll be no way you can control her when she's 16. He's also going to have to institute some "tough love" on her, and start disciplining his daughter. After she learns things of discipline....like the word "NO", then things will become a lot better. After she chills out, then it would be the time you can really get closer to her, and not only be her step-mother, but a true friend. Then, and only then, you could really be that "mother figure" that she so desperately needs in her life. You have some serious thinking to do, so think of all this thoroughly. Never act on impulse. Best of luck to you...and your potential family.
2006-07-22 06:29:06 · answer #2 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how can you make a relationship work based on..feeling sorry for some one, not being in love with him. and left him 4 times already..cause i dont think it could work..and as for his daughter kids are like this they are always good for someone else but as soon as the parents are home, all hell lets loose..it seems that he hasnt been entirely honest with you about the death of his x wife..hes not open about it..so was there something else that you should know? if i were you id go with the "woman instinct" how could you trust him. does he want me just for a mum figure. you already admitted you are not in love with him...it says a lot..move on..
2006-07-22 06:20:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you don't like his daughter and also like he wants you to be a mother figure but will not support your opinion on helping him raise her. Save yourself the trouble now and leave. It will get worse as your relationship progresses. The fact that you've broken up with him a few times and took him back out of sympathy is simple as day. You don't want to be in a relationship with him!
2006-07-22 06:22:31 · answer #4 · answered by Try You 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He loves his daughter and you have to understand that. I'm not saying that her behavior (or his reaction to it) is right, but you gotta understand where the guy's coming from. Right now, I think that you should tell him you just want to be friends and make him understand why you are making this desicion. Tell him that you love him and will be there for him, but that you can't do more than that for now. If this relationship was meant to be, everything will work out. If not, move on, but still remain his faithful friend.
2006-07-22 06:18:13 · answer #5 · answered by Kitty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is up to your BF to discipline his daughter. If you can see that he is doing a terrible job, trust me it will only get worse if you marry him. She will resent you and make your life miserable and he will blame you, too. He needs to learn parenting skills. Otherwise, move on and find someone else. This won't work. And, by the way, he is not doing his daughter any favors. He is teaching her to be a spoiled brat.
2006-07-22 06:17:05 · answer #6 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you've already broken up 4 times, chances are in your heart you have given up. Cut your ties and your losses. You may feel sorry for him, but that isn't going to repair what is wrong in the relationship, and neither is his crying and begging!
2006-07-22 06:14:57 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break up with him and get someone with out the baggage! Be a women... put it to an end... thats what you should have done the first time you broke up with him!
2006-07-22 12:26:21 · answer #8 · answered by cassidy s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why torture yourself?? If you're not in LOVE with him then break it off.... you guys can stay friends and be happier.. good luck
2006-07-22 06:15:04 · answer #9 · answered by vo00do0doll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋