What type of parent are you?

Question

Do you make your child earn what she gets or do you just give them what they want? I make my child who is 13 earn every thing she gets from makeup to a piece of candy. My grandparents raised me and they taught me in the same manner....I grew up to value what I had and take care of it cuz I knew what I had to do to earn it. My daughter thinks Im a cruel parent cuz I make her wash dishes every night and help me clean the house. If she wants her hair cut she has to earn the 15 dollars to get it done....Am I being a good parent by teaching my daughter that nothing in this handed to you on a platter and if you want something then you work for it?

Dont get me wrong I buy her clothes and all the other stuff she needs...but her extras she earns...she likes to get her hair cut every other month...She dosent have to earn every lil penny she gets but im talking about if she wants a a stero she earns it that sort of thing

Answer 1

I think that is a great way to teach your child responsibility. Children in today's society are irresponsible and disrespectful much of the time. I believe in teaching your child the value of a dollar, as well as to help around the home. How will they know what to do when they are out on their own if you don't teach them! You get 5 stars from me!

Answer 2

I am a single parent of 5, let me tell you if they didn't earn their own money for some of the things they have wanted, they wouldn't have them, because I can't afford them on one income. You can't give your child everything on a silver platter, they get spoiled and expect life to be that way. It does concern me though that your daughter washes dishes every night. Personally I think each person that is in the household should take turns with the household chores - yes you work, but so does she (going to school). I was taught that a good leader never asks his or her people to do something they won't do.

Maybe you've gone to the extreme in some areas, (earning a piece of candy, like a dog earning a biscuit?) but you're on the right track. Just remember she is a human being, she will one day be an adult. Teach by example. What type of parent am "I"? I'm a respected and loved parent, and couldn't ask for better kids.

Answer 3

I think that children today are spoiled, and those that aren't think they're the only ones (because they don't know anyone who has to do all of the chores, etc.). I think it's great that your daughter has to value what she has. There need to be more people that have their kids do chores on a regular basis! They have to learn it somewhere before they go out to face the world on their own.
At the same time, she is a child. It is okay every once in a while to give them something they don't work for. Give them a few things while they're young. She's not an adult yet, don't make her grow up too fast.
I wouldn't go far as to make her pay for things that are necessary (food, hair cuts, etc.), but things that she wants (going to the movies, out with friends, etc.). And it is okay on occassion to give her $ without her earning it every time.

Answer 4

It's fine to teach a kid that nothing in this world is handed to you on a silver platter and that you have to work to get stuff. *BUT*, you have to be reasonable, too. Kids are kids--even when they're teenagers--and they shouldn't have to "earn" every single living thing.

For example, the haircut thing is a little overboard. As a parent, it is your responsibility to provide that for your child. Same thing with food and clothing. Do you make her work for those things, too? If she doesn't clean the dishes one night, are you going to withhold food from her?

Just some stuff to think about...

Answer 5

I totally agree that kids should have chores to earn things. I just think that certain things should be paid for by the parent such as food, doctor bills, clothing basics (not $150 shoes), and even haircuts. But if they don't learn young that life is about responsibility and you can only get things you need or want by working hard they will grow up to be lazy and expect a handout from the goverment to support their babies and hang out all day.

Answer 6

I do a little of both - making her earn it and giving it to her. For example, if she wants to go out to eat, I take her; if she wants a Bratz doll, she has to earn her money for that. I feel that a parent can be a little over aggressive when it comes to making their child "earn" everything that they have ever had. I cut my daughter's hair and she does not have to earn the money to have that done b/c that is a necessity. I make her earn the things that she wants. After all, you are her parent and you are supposed to take care and support her.

Answer 7

I believe teaching a child that earning their things is the way to go is great. However, you may be overdoing it. As a parent, there are certain things you MUST give your child for free and I think a haircut is one of them. Teach them the value of money, but don't go overboard. They will hate you, hate what you're teaching and backfire on you!

Answer 8

I HAVE FOUR CHILDREN.THEY DO CHORES. I DON'T PROMISE THEM ANYTHING BECAUSE THERE ARE TIMES IN LIFE I CANNOT ALWAYS PAY THEM.AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED THEY ARE LEARNING GOOD HABITS.IF I CAN PAY,I WILL. THEY DO REALLY GOOD AND I MAKE A POINT TO REWARD THEM.THEY ALL WANT MONEY INSTEAD OF ITEMS.SO,SOMETIMES THEY HELP DAD AT WORK AND EARN REALLY GOOD MONEY.IF THEY NEED UNIFORMS OR DEODORANT OR A BASKET BALL,THEN(T.P FOR GIRLS). OR CLOTHES I WILL GET THEM,IF THEY WANT A PLAY STATION OR SOME NEW VIDEO GAMES, OR MUSC CD'S,NAIL POLISH OR COLLECTORS CARDS THEY BUY THEM.I BELIEVE, MINE KNOW THEY HAVE TO DO THISE FOR THEMSELVES WHEN THEY ARE ON THEIR OWN. IT'S OUR JOB TO SHOW THEM HOW.WHAT WE DO NOW WILL REFLECT ON WHO THEY BECOME.THEY ARE OUR FUTURE ADULTS THAT MAY HELP SOME ONE LIVE OR HELP WITH WORLD PEACE.THEY MAY HAVE THE CHANCES AND OPPERTUNITIES THAT ALOT OF PEOPLE THESE DAYS DONT HAVE. IT'S UP TO THEM TO USE THESE TOOLS WE SUPLY THEM WITH.I HAVE EVERY BIT OF FAITH THEY WILL BE ABLE TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT WAY OF LIFE.

Answer 9

I am not a parent yet, but my parents are having one hell of a time with 5 teens in their home now, excluding me. I am 21. Just wait until they reach 16 when they think they are ready to be on their own. That is what my parents are dealing with right now with my younger sister, who has run away to live with her boyfriend, and his mother. She is 16 and fighting to become emancipated because she thinks that being grounded from her boyfriend is not a suitable punishment and that she deserves not to be "abused." But she is not being abused, she is just being disciplined and this is one thing that teenagers do not like.

Answer 10

Excellent