I am only 21 and I have 2 step kids, ages 4 and 9. Their mother has raised them pretty badly and I am having a hard time having patiance with them. They like me and they don't fight with me, but I sometimes find them very frustrating. What can I do?
2006-07-22 05:41:41 · 12 answers · asked by t p 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Continue to be loving and supportive. But dont let them walk all over you either. If they need corrected make sure their dad issues the punishment. Show them that you can be counted on!
2006-07-22 05:46:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard and frusterating. I have raised my 4 year old step son since he was 1 and his mother came back into the picture when he was 3. I wish he was old enough to understand but he thinks that I am trying to take his real mommy away from him. And all I can do is sit there and take it. He has told me once before that he didn't want me to be his other mommy, and my husband didn't even know how to react. I just hope when he gets older he will realize that I'm a good influence in his life, and that I'm really the one that has been there for him. His mother only sees him during the summer for a month.
2006-07-22 12:47:33 · answer #2 · answered by lillady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have the parent be the final word on discipline... it's hard but when you (as a step parent), attempt to dictate you opinion it will only cause conflict. Sometimes all you can do is not make things worse. Over time the relationship should improve as you and the kids develop a better rapport. You will get less Resistance from them if you don't come off like a replacement for the other parent.
2006-07-22 12:48:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suck up and deal with the fact that you wound up with a guy who had kids. You made your choice. If you didn't want to have PATIENCE then you should have let this guy pass on by. They are only children. You will have a hard time with them until they become adults. Get used to it, or leave the sutiaton all together. And stop blaming their mother, she is going to be a part of your life for as long as those children are alive.
2006-07-26 07:13:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I kinda know how you feel my friend's mom had to try to get along with an 8 yr old ,9 yr old, and a 12 yr old. If you want to reward them for not fighting with you tell them that every summer you'll go somewhere like Six Flags, Disney world, Raging Rivers, or Nights Action Park. Some thing differant every year.
2006-07-22 12:48:59 · answer #5 · answered by spoiled_punkprincess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you show them as much love as possible, you can have a great relationship with them over time. Leave the harsh discipline to their dad. You are not their mom, probably don't want to be their mom, and can't be their mom. The best thing is to have a special relationship with them that is loving and kind and gentle. You can let them know that you will not tolerate rude manners and mean behavior and anything that is not loving. Their memories of you will always be special. You are very young to have to learn how to have patience for children. God bless you.
2006-07-22 12:48:56 · answer #6 · answered by Ambrosia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember it is not their fault how they were raised! You are going to find it very hard to be patient at 21 but you must be mature for your age, you obviously married an older man. Try talking about how you feel and let them know you want to make this relationship work. They are at difficult ages but beware it can get worse!!! Talking about what you feel and how they feel will help above all be honest!!!!!!
2006-07-22 12:52:57 · answer #7 · answered by Connie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well Im 29 and have 16 and 17 year old step daughters I do what they like to do and of course sometimes we fight just do the best you can and be a friend they already have a mother, My step daughters talk to me about everything and also they love coming to visit I take them to do things they like and I like
2006-07-22 12:47:18 · answer #8 · answered by Rondi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children CAN be frustrating at times and when you're the stepMom, everything is even more complicated! Can you attend a parenting class with the children's father? It might be very helpful!
2006-07-22 15:11:38 · answer #9 · answered by PeggyS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can say just understand them and give your self more peashent coz i have also a step kind 6 and 15 year old, but i`m just only 24 year old too.
2006-07-22 12:51:05 · answer #10 · answered by Dr Carla 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋