what do I do when I see my girlfriend spying on me?

Question

My girlfriend doesnt trust me, she thinks I am cheating on her and checks even my phone records. Even if I talk with another girl and she comes to know about that she has a ton of questions for me. I cannot leave her as she has told me that she will commit suicide and I cant bear that, I dont want to hurt her, she is very nice, sweet and I love her a lot but her over possesiveness over me is killing me. Now I am really frustrated and want to quit my relationship with her without hurting her, but dont know how?
Please give me logical answer for my question and that would be a big help.

Answer 1

dating is the prequal to marriage is this what your wanting to be married to? marriage is to be beyond reproach. i am married and my wife always checks my phone and where i have been on the pc she has all my passwords i have no problem i let her look as i dont do anything wrong for the most part.

i had an ex gf one time that threatend to commit suicide if i didnt come back to her, i promptly told her i was sorry but i wont be extorted or blackmaled into coming back and told her i was going to hang up and i did, i promptly call 911 told them what had just transpired they sent a rescue unit over and i stayed clear for a while. what it did was to set precedent that she would never think suicide would work as a cohersive tactic. You need to relieve yourself of the idea that you are the one responsible for anyones hapiness and work on your own if you can make someone happier then great. good luck i hope my past can help you in some way

Answer 2

Well, you can't leave her without hurting her. But, that's the way it goes sometimes.
She, an all probability, is using the suicide threat as just that, a threat. Most people who succeed at suicide just do it. It may be a "cry for help" but I'm guessing she's using it as a control device, to keep you walking the line. I would just ignore it. and tell her the truth.
I may not be the best person to answer this question because I have no tolerance for jealosy. It implies a deep lack of trust and is sooooo insullting. If she doesn't trust you then why do you want to stay with her, and what possible reason could she have for wanting to stay with you? As I said, I do not think jealous behavior is flattering.
So, just sit her down and tell her how you feel. Sooner is better, you can't avoid some emotional pain, probably for both of you, but it's really not fair to wait, since you know you want to move on. I wouldn't mention the spying because she will get defensive (because she knows it wrong wrong wrong) just that you don't want to do this anymore. Short and sweet, and not in a public place. Have your say, make your apologies if you feel any are due, and leave.
After that, it sounds like you will have some trouble with follow up bad behavior, calling your work, home and friends and family to let them all in on the action and try to force you back to her. So tell every body else _AFTER you tell her, and if you have to report her to the phone company for harrassment, that's okay too.

Just do it, get it over with, eventually she will find someone who wants to be scrutinized and she will live happily ever after.

Peace.

Answer 3

Take it from someone who made a mistake of staying with a girl in order to prevent her from hurting herself physically...

THIS IS A BIG RED FLAG!!!!

First of all, you need to take care of you. You cannot be dragged down by someone with major issues like suicide. I doubt she'd do it, but still...it's a manipulation tactic people use to try to get their way. It's completely manipulative, unfair, and selfish.

Serious jealousy and suicidal issues need professional help. Sticking around for her will not help those go away. It will also feed her thoughts that she can control you be playing on your compassion.

5 to 1 says you cannot talk to her and convince her that it's an unhealthy relationship. She will NOT listen to you. Anytime you make a point, she will counter with something completely off topic, because she cannot rationally argue with your logic. Don't draw this out to save her feelings - it will only drive her more crazy, and make both of you miserable. Be strong, and tell her that this is an unhealthy relationship.

Answer 4

Wave and let her know what going on.

You'll probably end up with the short end of the stick anyway so you best bet may be to just get away from her for a while and let her look at the relationship from the outside. Maybe she'll be able to see what it is she's doing/did wrong and change her ways.

Reassure her of your love for her but don't leave her high and dry. Breathe and let her know she's got to make a choice-
TRUST YOU or LEAVE YOU. Ask her what she's wants to do and leave the ball in her court. Hopefully she'll grow up.

Answer 5

Personally, i would tell her that if she can't trust you then why is she still with you? she should learn that the basis of a relationship is trust and if you two dont have that then what do you have? if you really want to leave her, then try driving her crazy with all the little things that she doesnt like, think about them, and do your best, you dont have to leave her, she can leave you. and if she spies on you that much, i suggest that you check your internet history and delete any connection with this site, otherwise, it will break her heart and the consiquenses most probably wont be good. remember, girls know other girls, and i would definately feel guilty on the trust subject if my boyfriend brought it up.

Answer 6

She's obviously been hurt before, and she's now being controlling to help her feel like its not going to happen again.

I say cut and run. It's not going to get any better. Her saying that she'll kill herself is usually another way to control you. Wanna fix that? Tell her mom. Tell her that it's not working, you need out, but you're worried about her. Tell her mom exactly what she's told you. Alter it a little for "mom-speak". She'll be watched, trust me.

In the end, she'll probably be depressive, there might be stalking and midnight phone calls, but it will be that way no matter when you leave. It won't get better.

My sister's boyfriend threatened to kill himself if she left, and it kept her there for a long time. Little ****'s still walking around though.

Answer 7

I think it's time for the two of you to have a nice, long talk. Have you given her reason not to trust you? Is there something in her past that makes her not trust others? Are you willing to work through it with her? She sounds like she needs professional help if she's serious with the suicide threats. Perhaps offer to go to counseling with her to work out whatever it is that causes her to think the worst and act the way she does.

Answer 8

She is emotionally controlling you. This is what you do: Call her parents and tell them that you are worried about her emotional well being, and tell them that she has threatened suicide if you break up with her. Explain to them that she is not stable enough to be in a relationship with someone right now and that you think that it would be better if she got help. Then tell them that you need to not be in a relationship with her because of all of the threats and the folowing around, ect. Basically, call her on her bluff. She is controlling you with this, so use it against her. That way, you get to get out of the relationship, and she is being looked after by people who care about her. For future referance, do not get into a sexual relationship untill marraige, because women tend to get posessive once that happens. Good Luck!

Answer 9

Tell her that she can keep doing it and you won't get mad, provided that she gives you an underwater bj at least three nights a week.

Seriously ... I'd sit down with her, let her know that it bothers you, and try to find out why she does it. Try not to sound accusing or negative ... just tell her that you care for her and love her, and that you want to make your relationship with her as great as possible, but that this is a real issue for you.

Let her know that you are sure she's not doing anything bad on purpose ... and let her know that she doesn't have to be possessive of you, and she doesn't have to not trust her, because you are her man and no one else's.

Answer 10

She is holding you hostage. You realize that, right?
If you want to break it off, do so. If she is threatening suicide, call the authorities. They will put her on a psychiatric hold (in a state hospital under a doctor's care) for 24 hours. That will either scare her straight or get her the help she needs.
Good Luck, and the best thing for her is not to put up with her crap. Best thing for you too. You don't want to be with someone like her, trust me.