I met a guy online and we went out and had a great time together. He is not my ideal man but he will do as I know I can't have everything I want. We have spent many hours together and we seem to enjoy each others company. I have learned much about him and also about his ex and the divorce. It turns out he filed for divorce (this is a point off with me because I frown on people who break their marriage vowels and I was in a very bad marriage myself but didn't leave it, he left me.) He wife ran up big credit bills and he just could't handle her spending habits anymore and after over 20 years of marriage, got divorced. He got a bad deal in the divorce and lost everything and got all the debt. I myself have very high debt and I don't know how to break it off with him at this point because I know if he found out, if we got married and alll, that he would never marry me or he would leave me afterwards like he did his wife. There is no immediate way for me to get out of debt either
2006-07-22 04:57:58 · 9 answers · asked by reallyfedup 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is not your ideal man but he will do because you know you can't have everything???? What a sad statement! You need to slowly decrease your debt and increase your self esteem. Don't do this by going out with and even contemplating marriage with a man that is not your "ideal". Marriage is difficult in the best of situations. In yours, it would be hopeless.
2006-07-22 05:05:54 · answer #1 · answered by mab5096 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, your actions maybe so and the financial situation maybe so as well, but that doesn't make you exactly like his ex- wife.
It sounds like you have already made the decision to divorce before you said your vows. Do you love him or just enjoy the comfortably of being partnered with someone?
A note on finances: always #1 argument! After 25 years of marriage, we still disagree on our finances. My final thought was we either work harder or desire less.
We decided to do both. We have come out from under the monetary strain, if you will, and again still argue over the financial aspects of our lives.
Consolidate and pay a small fee every month with the highest interest and highest balance first and after a six month period, call the creditors and renegotiate your interest rates. Also set 5 to 10 dollars aside every time you make a payment to a creditor, in a savings account and flag it so you can't draw on it.
2006-07-22 05:10:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to separate the marriage issue from the debt issue completely. After all, you're not marrying him in order to settle your debts, are you? Be frank and tell him your financial situation and make it as if you want to give him the complete picture about your circumstances before marriage. Let him draw his own conclusions and take his decisions.
2006-07-22 05:05:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest be upfront and let the chips fall where they will. Do you really want to be with a person who is maybe paying maintenance, child support etc. How are you both going to live remember the old saying. Poverty comes through the door love flies out the window. Amen
2006-07-22 05:19:51 · answer #4 · answered by wondering 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Knowledge is light.
Tell him. If he must leave you, better now than later.
I have quit on a girlfriend coz i was tired of her habit of hiding truths from me that she feared would take me away from her. hence, in the end, i was soooo afraid all the time that she was hiding something, and i lost my trust in her. If she'd disclosed things earlier, I would have trusted her all the more.
Say it!! I'll repeat.. better now than later.
And then... expect the best, be ready for the worst.
Also, in your case, its your bill and you can promise you aren't gonna burden him with your bills. I wonder why he must mind that.
My wishes are with you :) *hugzzz*
2006-07-22 05:06:46 · answer #5 · answered by cool_bythepool 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him flat out. Your high debt may not be because of the same reasons as his x. BE HONEST!
2006-07-22 05:01:57 · answer #6 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't settle for what will do, and make a plan to get out of debt.
2006-07-22 05:02:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st, ideal is not always perfect, my husband loves me debt and all. you don't sound exactly like his ex b cuz u actually give a crap about his feelings. good luck
2006-07-22 05:07:43 · answer #8 · answered by green-eyed monster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want be happy with me
2006-07-22 05:01:37 · answer #9 · answered by Peace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋