My dad wasn't here?

Question

For me..I needed him..Don't girls as well as boys need their Dad?..He called me names.. He treated me as if I was a boy..(Sports,clothes etc.)I'm a woman... I still love him. I still wish he'd treated me as a individual...Conversations aren't civial,and I just wanted my dad to love me...Just venting.Some of the things wouldn't have happened in my life if he'd been their.. Anyone feel the same? I'm a better woman now.. Still with scares..

Answer 1

Don't let it get you down. I grew up without my dad being there all the time either and we weren't civil at some point in time as well. I made a choice to never waste my time pondering on what could have been and what I wanted that would never happen and just focused on how I could be a better person - studied, finished college, worked, raised a family, had three wonderful kids - I too am a better person because that 'absence' of having a father made me a stronger person, it taught me to be independent and resourceful. Now that my dad's old - he missed out on the "wonder years" of our childhood and that isn't our loss, it's their loss. But it doesn't mean I hate my dad. I've forgiven him his shortcomings and I just want him to be happy. Because I'm happy already as I am. You'll do just fine.

Answer 2

Can't change the past and how do you know that things would have happen the same way had he been there you may gone down a different path in life and not be where you are at today. You are what you are because of you past. Your past for the most part you had no control over. However, you do have the controls over your future. The future is where your dreams are. The future is where you will reach your goals that you have set for yourself. If you reach your goals or not is now up to you. Sitting there feeling sorry for yourself isn't what you want to spend your energy on thinking how great things are and all the positive things that are yet to come is a better use of ones time

Answer 3

Well, my dad died when I was 5. Strangely, I did not really miss him at the beginning but as I grew older, I felt I missed his presence a lot. So many things would have been different, if he had been there for me. And I sometimes even know that this is where one issue or other stems from. But I can't change that. I have become what I am, and have had no control over those circumstances.

One thing I know comes from this, is my tendency to keep men as friends rather than women. I just miss the stable factor in my life. I just try to stop myself from treating men as the father I never had because this can be really scary for both sides.

The only thing I can say is, you have to work on yourself, on your self-esteem, and try to be a positive person. You are now, or soon will be, a complete person who has control over their own life and their own relationships with people. Just remember that you are a wonderful person inside, and you are what you are regardless of all difficulties and losses you have experienced.

Answer 4

Our fathers are our first introduction to the opposite sex...we learn what to expect from a relationship, through him. When this isn't present; we often make unhealthy choices for ourselves within our relationships. We will seek the familiar...because it is all we know. We attempt to work it all out for ourselves through these relationships...and this usually leads to heartbreak. It is often passed down to our daughters, and thus, a very unhealthy cycle begins.

You must break the chains that bind you...work up your resolve to end it...and seek out a professional therapist...or you will spend many years trying to seek a resolution through others...and although it can be achieved...you will pay a very heavy price for it in the end...so I urge you to seek help as soon as possible. It is the very, very best thing you can do for yourself. God Bless

Answer 5

dnt be sad