My sister had a baby like some months ago and well the father didnt stay with her and gives her child support once in a while and is really stuck up....well today i found out that she was in the hospital again becuz she lost her supposely sec baby me and her are very good friends we are always together and well i am mad at her becuz she never said anything to me and all she says are bunch of lies and as much as i would like to be there for her i dont know what to say to her and right now i dont know like why doesnt she think of her kid she is barely making it and everything she has now is becuz of my parents and a few months ago my dad bought me a car and she all jealous made my dad buy her one and this is how she repays him buy getting pregnant again what is she thinking and i just need some advice please help me what would u do if this happened to u ????
2006-07-21 21:41:58 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
the thing is that i just dont want her to end up like my other sister she ended up being with 5 kids divorced then she remarried and the guy doesnt even care about her 5 kids and is a bum...and i know she can do better than that...
2006-07-21 21:55:50 · update #1
I understand that you are hurt. It's obvious that your sister is going through a lot and seems to be tripping over her own mistakes. What she needs now is your support and guidance (regardless of if you are younger you can still give good advice). Be honest with her and tell her you are hurt that she didn't share with you and that you are there for her. Also tell her she doesn't need to repeat her mistakes because it is affecting her family as well. Help her find her Independence i.e education, vocational training and /or even a job. We get angry with family members and tend to yell at them but that usually just turns them off and push them deeper into bad behavior. If she feels support and constructive advice she may feel she can make better decisions and be independent. She may not have told you also because she didn't want you to be angry with her or worse be disappointed with her. So have a heart to heart with her and help her. I hope it works out for all of you. Good luck and god bless.
2006-07-21 21:51:48 · answer #1 · answered by D baby 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Geesh, talk about family dysfunction!
Maybe she didn't want to tell anyone about the baby until she was sure she was pregnant.
If she thinks that having a baby will solve her problems or punish her dad........boy oh boy is she mixed up. She needs counseling
This is for sure....You can't fix it, You didn't cause it. It is her problem not yours. Don't be selfish becasue she didn't tell you.
Does your fathers way work? is her getting pregnant working????
I don't think so. What a family needs is unconditional love.
Be mature and just keep loving her. As you two become adults you will become more independent. And she just might always be your best friend. So, keep the relationship good. Even if you have to swallow your pride.
Give her a hug and ask how she is feeling. She needs you more than ever.No need to judge her. Just love her. It is amazing how far love and kindness go.
I have a sister four years younger than I am, And she is my rock. We watch each others back. We dont judge. We just love and laugh and take care of each other.
Don't take the chance of losing her. When you let go of other peoples problems you find more peace and strength as a woman.
Dont buy in to your parents arguing. I have a feeling that everyone will be hot on the subject. Will arguing solve anthing?
Seems like your family has a great deal of anger. Let go and let God take care of it.
When it comes right down to it we are only accountable for ourselves. She has chosen her path and whether you agree or not , she has chosen it.
Love her unconditionally.
2006-07-21 21:56:45 · answer #2 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel maybe you can try to tell you sister in very nice way how you feel I am not sure if you are younger or older thank her but maybe she didn't feel comfortable talking about her sex life with you? to some people this is very personal others are very open about it I dont know how you relationship is with her so I cant say but I would suggest from personal experience to tell he how you feel and maybe she will open up to you and tell you why she did and why? Hang in there She may have had personal reasons why she didn't say anything???You can get the best answer from the person you are upset with most of the time anyway??? Just try to hang in there and dont make you family your enemy there is too much negative energy out there.You and your sister need each other its hard to find true friends and good people now days hang in ther ok? hope that helps some
2006-07-21 21:52:20 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy Tease-Sex With Sassy Radio 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I would be mad. You have a right to be angry.
BUT, remember, your sister is going through some tough stuff. She may have created it, but it's still hard on her. Cut her some slack, talk about your anger and feelings calmly, go beat up a punching bag, gripe where nobody can hear you, things like that. Be mad, if you feel mad, but express it in ways that will help, not in ways that will worsen the situation.
2006-07-21 21:51:59 · answer #4 · answered by Gen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your friend is very mixed up, and was trying to spare your feelings. She may not of wanted to admit to herself she was pregnant. So you might want to give her a break until she is ready to open up and talk to you about it. If she's a very good friend, you don't want to lose her friendship if she is just confused about things, you wouldn't want her to do you that way. Just wait and see what happens before you make any harsh decisions that you may regret later. She may be mad enough at herself for the both of you.
Boy I would like to know your parents--I need a car!
2006-07-21 21:50:55 · answer #5 · answered by kazoo1991 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, learn to write sentences with capitals and periods so we can understand you. Sure you have the right to be mad. She is irresponsible and using your dad (re: the car). I would tell her how I feel, then back off for a while. You can pick your friends but you can pick family. Just because you're sisters, doesn't mean you have to be close if she is acting so badly.
2006-07-21 21:48:22 · answer #6 · answered by reme_1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The trick to life is ALWAYS be the best person YOU can be. How she acts, what she does, and who she is with is none of your concern unless she asks you to get involved. You can simply voice your opinion and let her take it for what it is worth, or confide in you and get the assistance from you she needs. You can not force anyone to become a better person, but you can set the example of how a good person should be.
2006-07-21 21:48:07 · answer #7 · answered by Joseph L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things like these happen and of course we are "disappointed" with the family member who does it. At this point, your sister needs all the support, love and care of the family. Getting mad at her would depress her even more. Forego all the lectures and let the experience be her lesson. Pray for her, she needs it.
2006-07-21 21:47:19 · answer #8 · answered by Ai 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is your sister? She really needs some education in family planning from a trusted source (not anything special interest like a church). I'm thinking a counsellor or family doctor here.
2006-07-21 21:44:38 · answer #9 · answered by dreamcatweaver 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, its nice that your father buys you guys cars. Your sister should probally be a little more careful but you cant blame her just because she got pregnate. just dont go out tring to get pregnate by some random dude just to prove a point! be thankful for what you got. and dont get jealous when someone gets more then you. its very difficult with siblings
2006-07-21 21:49:55 · answer #10 · answered by Jonas V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋