Whoever can make me laugh the most gets the 10pts!!!???

Question

Make me laugh!!!
A joke, riddle, puzzle or brain tickler. etc.

Answer 1

Hope you like this one:

Two kids are in Sunday School. A girl who keeps falling asleep sits next to a boy with his pen out.
The teacher asks, "Who created heaven and earth?" The boy pokes the girl in the side with his pen.
"God almighty!" yells the girl.
"Very good!" says the teacher. The girl starts to snooze off again.
The teacher asks, "Who died for our sins?" The boy pokes her with his pen again.
"Jesus Christ!" yelled the girl.
"Very good." The girl goes off to sleep again.
The teacher asks, "What did Eve say to Adam after having their 26th kid?" The boy pokes her with the pen again.
The girl yells, "If you put that thing into me one more time, I swear I'll break it in half!"
The teacher fainted.

Answer 2

Two rednecks, Cooter and Bubba have been best friends all their lives. Cooter is really one good ole boy and when he decides to get married Bubba is his best man.
Well, after the wedding every body's partying and the dipping into the booze and Cooter can't find his bride, so he wanders upstairs to lookin for her, and lo and behold. His wife and Bubba are naked and romping on the bed.

Very quietly Cooter goes downstairs laughing and says to his Mom & Dad, " Ma an Pa, come on up stairs, wanna to show you something real funny". So they go up and Cooter flings the door open on the naked pair going at it ; gives a big whoop of laughter and says; "Ha ha, Bubba's so drunk, he thinks he's Me!"


A cowboy takes his new bride to the city for their honeymoon and goes to check into an upscale hotel. The clerk looks down his nose as the Cowboy tells him they just gotmarried and he wants the best for his bride.
The clerk sneers and says, "Suite?"
Cowboy says, "She sure is! Sweetest gal in the county!"
Sneering even more, the clerk asks, "Bridal?"
To which the cowboy replies, "Nope, I'll just hold her by ther braids 'til I get er broke in.".

Answer 3

A farmer was bringing home his new bride in his old rickety wagon being pulled by a stubburn old mule. THe mule suddenly stopped and refused to move. The farmer got down and said to the mule "that's once!" and wacked the mule on the behind and they were on their way again. After a while the mule again stopped and would not move. The farmer got down and said to the mule "that's twice!" wacked the mule in the behind and the mule began to move again. A few miles down the road the mule again stopped and would not budge. The farmer got down and said "that's three times!" pulled out a gun and shot the mule dead!
the farmers wife then screamed at the farmer "well that was stupid, now how are we going to get home?! The farmer looked at his new bride and said "that's once!"

Answer 4

Holliday Eats

A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh just below her bikini line.

She also wants him to put the words "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey.

So the guy does it and it comes out looking real good.

The woman then instructs him to put a Santa Claus with "Merry Christmas" on her left thigh just below the bikini line.

So the guy does that one and it turns out pretty good as well.

As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist says, "If you don't mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?"

She replies, "I'm sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time that there is nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas!"

Answer 5

It is a normal drill day at the Marine base in Virginia. The whole
regiment is lined up in formation, and the colonel is walking around
inspecting people. There are rows of marines stacked behind one another
waiting to be inspected. The colonel gets to the first squad leader,
stands in front of him and punches him in the stomach the hardest he
can. After about a minute, the squad leader catches his breath. The
colonel bellows, "DID THAT HURT SOLDIER?" Then the soldier says "NO,
SIR." The colonel shouts, "WHY NOT?" Then the soldier says, "BECAUSE I
AM A MARINE!"

The colonel gets up to the second squad leader, stands in front of him,
and kicks him in the kneecap. After about a minute when the soldier is
finally standing, the colonel hollers, "DID THAT HURT?" The soldier
responds, "NO, SIR." And the colonel says "WHY NOT?" Then the soldier
shouts, "BECAUSE I AM A MARINE!"

The colonel gets up to the third squad leader. He notices that there is
an erection between his legs. The colonel takes a stick from the floor,
and whacks the erection with it. The man barely makes a sound. The
colonel asks him "DID THAT HURT?" And the soldier says "NO, SIR." Then
the colonel shouts, "WHY NOT?" Then the soldier points at the man
standing behind him and says, "BECASUE IT WAS HIS."


Mary was having an affair during the day while her husband was at work.
One day, she was in bed with her boyfriend Ralph, when she heard her
husband's car pull in the driveway.
She yelled at Ralph, "Hurry! grab your clothes and jump out the window,
my husband is home early!"
Ralph looked out the window and said, "I can't jump out the window!
It's raining like hell out there."
Mary cried, "If my husband catches us in here, he will kill both of
us!"
So, Ralph grabbed his clothes and jumped out the window. When he landed
outside he found himself in the middle of a marathon race, so he
started running along side the others, only he was still in the nude,
carrying his clothes on his arm.
One of the runners asked him, "Do you always run in the nude?"
Ralph answered, while gasping for air, "Oh yes, it feels so free having
the air blow over your skin while you are running."
Then another runner asked, "Do you always run carrying your clothes on
your arm?"
Ralph answered breathlessly, "Oh yes, that way I can get dressed at the
end of the run and get in my car to go home."
Then another runner asked, "Do you always wear a condom when you run?"
Ralph answered, "Only if it's raining!"


Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the
wedding,
laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want,
and at
what time I want - and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a
great
dinner to be on the table unless I tell you. I'll go hunting, fishing,
boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you
give
me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that
there'll
be sex here at ten o'clock every night......whether you're here or
not."

Answer 6

There were two guys who had been captured by cannibals and they were hanging over a huge boiling pot over water.
All of a sudden the one guy starts laughing and he just keeps laughing and laughing so the guy next to him asks him "why are you laughing?" and the guy says "I just pissed in their soup!"

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods one day?

Why does Michael Jackson like twentyeight year olds? Cause theres 20 of em!

Answer 7

A friend sent me this one today and it's really funny, enjoy!

http://mywebpages.comcast.net/singingman7777/Beginning.htm

Answer 8

laugh boy, as long as we r here in world.

Answer 9

if sunflower oil is made of sunflower
peanut oil made of peanut
olive oil made of olive....
then whats baby oil made up of???

Answer 10

Is It Michael Jackson

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little boy : mummy is god a girl or a boy?

mummy: why god is both girl and boy

little boy: mummy is god black or white?

mummy: why god is both black and white

little boy: mummy is god gay or straight?

mummy: why god is both gay and straight

little boy: mummy is god Michael Jackson?