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I have two children.Both are quite matured and are 25+ but both are too arrogant and do not bother any of my advices.If I resist,my wife supports them immediately.At this juncture,my children particularly son has gone out of control enitely.He does what his mind says and presently he is really in a serious problem.If I speak anything my wife starts arguments and quarrels immediately.Who is responsible?

2006-07-21 21:04:11 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Family

10 answers

The kids are 100%.

2006-07-21 21:09:19 · answer #1 · answered by iggwad ™ 5 · 0 0

First, your job at raising the kids ended when they hit 15 or so, when they got too old to train and influence, and you were just giving rules and limits. Doesn't matter if you were finished or not, time's up. They're not listening to you now because it is no longer your job. Yes, it is heartbreaking when they do stupid things and don't listen, especially when you have been there, and you know they are only going to be miserable with their choices. But, there comes a point where they're going to be grown-up and making their own choices, whether you were ready or not. As far as who is responsible for this mess, it's the same as for children who turn out exactly as their parents hope -- both parents created it.

That said, if your wife is all that upset about the current situation with your son having a serious problem, chances are she feels guilty. Or she blames you. Or she was afraid of doing a bad job and now your son has proven that her fear was right. Or none of that is true, but she just FEELS like it is. Or she's just plain heartbroken. Mothers are a whole different creature, my good man, and they can be very strange indeed when their kids don't seem to have turned out too well. I know, because I am a mother.

Find a marriage counselor. A few meetings with a counselor probably will do a lot of good for your communication with each other, especially to resolve the guilt and blame that seems to be going on. This isn't good for your relationship with your wife. And that is sure not going to help your kids. You can't be there for your kids, and do the right thing, if you're busy having your own problems in your marriage.

2006-07-21 21:27:33 · answer #2 · answered by Gen 3 · 0 0

I think you need to talk to your wife and let her know that what she's doing is wrong. That is what's making your son be outta control he see's that even if you're against it he'll get away with it cuz mommy shuts you done and she's on his side. Put her on check, parents should never be against each other when dealing with son/daughter issues cuz then the children start creating a seperation and can easily overthrow you both because parents are strong together! And if your son gets in trouble then let him.... he's gonna have to learn the hard way.... it sucks! Been there, done that! That's when we understand how much our parents do for us!
Good Luck!!

2006-07-21 21:16:02 · answer #3 · answered by It's Me 2 · 0 0

each cellular has DNA and it really is consisted of two strands tightly woven round one yet another. the project that forestalls both strands from breaking aside is called a telomeric cap (it really is random nucleotide sequences observed as nonsense codons. Codon is a three sequence of nucleotides that codes for amino acids eg. CUU is a amino acid observed as proline . A nonsense codon is one which doesnt code for any amino acid production) each and anytime your cells divide a small sequence is lost there by skill of reducing the steadiness of the cellular's DNA (in layman's words). this may ultimately lead do maximum of Ur cells' DNA growing to be volatile. and frequently even as a mistake takes position in DNA the cellular will carry out vehicle cytolysis (cellular suicide) to stay away from complications. So once you're previous maximum of ur cells telomeric caps will be low and they are weak to die even as they attempt to divide.. Whats somewhat thrilling about this theory is the impact it has on evolution (because this happens on both meiotic as well as mitotic divisions. which signifies that a species grows previous too beforehand it mutates.. yet thats a diverse tale)

2016-12-10 13:24:59 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

Advice is optional. Kids can take it or disregard it. You're getting too bent, a control freak really.

If son gets himself in trouble, let him get himself out of it. He'll learn from his mistakes.

As for the wife, she needs to support you or decline in private, away from the kids.

2006-07-21 21:08:53 · answer #5 · answered by csucdartgirl 7 · 0 0

Parents blame themselves and each other for things wrong about their children, but all parents make mistakes raising their children, and after awhile, you can't blame anyone but the person doing the things that are wrong.
In other words: Your children are responsible for their own actions, once they are adults.

2006-07-21 21:43:33 · answer #6 · answered by vvxxzzvv 2 · 0 0

,All 3 of you are responsible. You, for not sticking up for yourself and speaking your mind whenever you want.Your wife, for not respecting the fact that your are entitled to an opinion (right or wrong) and your kid because he's an adult and should be able to take care of himself

2006-07-21 21:12:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

im 24 and i still dont like listening to what my parents have to tell me, even if i know what they're saying is good but i guess we're past 18 now so whatever we do now we have to handle it , be prepared for whatever happens. i guess for you, you just need to let your kids makes their own mistakes and be there for them when it happens, but if you think there is something wrong with your son's mind/ brain then talk to a doctor but sit and talk with him and your wife first but you gotta talk not tell him,

2006-07-21 21:16:20 · answer #8 · answered by dezire_nz 1 · 0 0

For heaven's sake, those kids are adults. How about you reword how you say things to them so that you are speaking as an adult to adults. They aren't your babies anymore, sorry.

2006-07-21 21:42:27 · answer #9 · answered by dreamcatweaver 4 · 0 0

everyone has their resposibility ... maybe dad for not tryin because he didnt had good relationship with his fater

2006-07-21 21:36:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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