about my relationship?

Question

well, this is hard to ask, but i'd rather ask strangers who don't me rather than friends who know both of us...

me and my bf have been together for almost 5 years, and he was pretty much my first long term relationship. we talk about getting married and all that good stuff, and i love him more than i can say. but we've been sexually active (and safe, of course) for about three years now... and i'm sort of... bored. i don't want another guy, and to be frank, i wouldn't have a clue what to do with them, but our sex is sort of low key these days. part of the problem is that his schedule is completely crazy so he's super worn out, and i'm taking some medication that sort of kills the greater part of my sex drive. i still get horny though, and i might orgasm during sex, but it's just sort of... boring. i don't know how else to say it! even kissing has sort of lost it's spark. but i love him, and he loves me. help!

Answer 1

Relationships change throughout the duration the couple is together.
They all have ups and downs.
Remember too that real love comes down to accepting changes within that relationship.
It's not all about having sex all the time.
If your sex drives don't match up, talk to one another about it and be understanding. If that doesn't help and you realize it's not what you want, then you need to be honest and leave the relationship.
I think you're finding ways to love one another without sex.
Most couples have a sex life that changes as they change and sometimes it will be really and other times really bad and other times you don't care. But understand that there's nothing wrong with either of you. You're taking medication that suppresses your sex drive and he's too tired from working. That won't be forever.
Take time to hold one another, write little sweet notes for one another, offer a back rub, draw a bubble bath, etc.

Answer 2

I would go to a doctor and talk about getting your meds changed. I have been on meds that kill the sex drive before..it makes a huge difference.

I would also try to not think about it too much, because many times the more we think on something, the bigger it becomes. I am not saying to put it on the back burner. Look closely at the relationship and what you are both enduring right now...you with the meds..him with being so tired...and just know that you are in the norm. That is the thing about relationships...they really do go through phases...so try not to worry too much about it. We all go through those times hon.

Answer 3

There are several very good bookks that address the problem of boredom in marriage.They have many good suggestions. Read 1 or 2 of them.You've reached the stageof marriage (unofficial to be on the record , but still the same ) where infatuation chANGES TO COMPANIONSHIP AND REAL PAIR BONDING. tHIS REQUIRES WORK. sOME SPECIFIC SUGGESTIONS ARE, GET A GOOD HOW TO DO IT BOOK AND READ IT TOGETHER. tELL HIM WHAT TURNS YOU ON AT THE VERY MOMENT WHEN IT IS RELEVANT. tRY TO GET HIM TO GIVE YOU CUNNILINGUS. (IF YOUR VAGINA HAS AN ODOUR, FISHY OR OTHERWISE) IT IS A BACTERIAL INFECTION THAT CAN BE EASILY TREATED BY ANTIBIOTICS, TAKEN BY ALL "PARTNERS' at the same time.
Try clitoral stimulation (by you), while engaging in intercourse. It's best when you get on top and grasp something above you like a bedstead.
Sorry for the caps.
Best of good wishes, good lasting realstions require compromise, give & take, good communicaTION AND HARD WORK. IT'S WORTH IT.
dAN.

Answer 4

Well in any relationship, the most exciting and memorable time is always the starting. Once both of you is familiar with each other, that little spark begin to lose. It is up to both of you to make your own love life exciting again. Now what both of you need to do is to maintain that little love.
Maybe you should also ask your bf to take a short break and both of u go to do things that both of u like to do. I thinkit will spice up your love life again

Answer 5

One word: Vacation!

You need to both mutually find time together (just the two of you, no one else) where you do activities where you're together. A romantic get away to a resort or destination might be your ticket to re spark the passion once again.

Answer 6

Of course, I don;t advcate sex before marriage..

but lets move on...

You have to go back to basics---what were the things you guys said and did when you first got together, (or should I say, BEFORE you got together, cause that's when the romance was in the air). Remember how you used to be with each other before vida got loca, and spark it up again.

Answer 7

Lulls are common in long term relationships -- just think about the stuff that keeps you together, and not what is missing. There is no perfect relationship. You could try taking a vacation together to de-stress.

Answer 8

You need to create the moment. Let your imagination go wild. You know what he thinks and what makes him hot and he knows what you thunk is hot. Write own love fairy tale. But not with words. Using body language. Use your imagination. It is fun and very interesting. Make love. Not sex.

Answer 9

maybe it is time for you to grow up and realize your bored because your boring. it seems you are sitting around expecting this relationship to entertain you the rest of your life.WAKE UP!!! look around and realize other things exist inthis world besides you two humping each other in bed trying to not get bored.

Answer 10

Take a break. Maybe separate bedrooms. Start dating each other again. You are taking each other for granted ... and that leads to boredom.