what is the best way to deal with greif about My mother's death?

Question

She had been in a nursing home for a few years with what
they diagnoised as alzheimers,( which I still don't think she had.) I am the youngest of 7 children and I have always had a hard time with her illness. Last August she passed away after getting very sick with some kind of infection. She was a very kind woman, who loved her children and very religious, and that part I take some comfort in . I did not want her to suffer anymore, but I need to come to a peace about it.

Answer 1

My mother has the same and I am the youngest too. It got hard for me when she first began to change. I was so bitter because I felt like my mother abandoned me when I needed her most. Well, I began to cry out to God to help me to remember the way she was, my good memories of her and us, and as I continued to talk to God, I began to look at my mom differently, as God would have for me to see her. So my advice to you is to cry when you need to cry, and when you need someone to talk to, talk to God, because He is the only one who truly knows how you feel. Don't deny yourself the grieving process, you've suffered a tremendous loss in your life.

Answer 2

Am so sorry, I am facing the same situation, Mom is 88 now. I am almost 70, what a joy to have her at this age.
Your best friend is your Mom, how can we live without them?
Knowing she is well and happy makes it better. So does time when we have a loss.

I've lost a son so I know the grief. It is almost ten years and I still feel that deep stab. I figure G-d must trust us a lot to allow us to have grief. He knows w/Him, we can bear it.

Soon we will all be together forever. Your Mom would not have you grieve too long for she surely hated leaving you.
Sometimes they linger on in much pain just for us. We have to give them permission to die and leave us. If she had alzheimers she would have been a stranger to you in such a short time. Also it is not an easy way to die. Be so thankful.

I hate to see the day Mom does not know who I am.
Yet, I am thankful for the time I have with her as her caregiver. Also that I have not come to the point she needs special care or a nursing home.

As Christians, we never have to say "goodbye" for we have a meeting date that will last forever.
Altho in Heaven they are happy, I like to think that ever once in awhile they get a chance to peek in on us to see we are walking the walk.
So, talk to your Mom, maybe they hear us. They have the mind of Christ so there is no missing us or sorrow if they do.

Tell G-d exactly how you feel. If you are angry and we usually are, it helps to talk it out. Have Him show you in His Word the awesome plan he has for us in Heaven.

Answer 3

I'm very sorry about your mom's death... i think death is extremely sad no matter how old or sick the person is.. everyone is dear to someone.. specially when talking about a parent.
i think that u should let yourself grieve.. cry , remember how she was like, talk to friends about her.. but you should remember that we will all die one day.. i believe that good people go to a better place after death. I'm sure she loves you and must know how much you love her... she'll always be with you, just like a guardian angel..so continue with your life , make a lot of friends,, coz close people could be a great comfort .. do not suppress your sadness coz it's not healthy ..
your mom's soul is still there, watching upon you .. look inside your heart and you'll feel her ..
be strong

Answer 4

First, I'm sorry that you have lost your mom. I'm blessed I still have mine here.

Second, you are taking the first step in helping yourself, that's asking others for advice. However, you know she is in a much better place then here. She's now walking the streets of gold, talking with our Lord and Savior near the crystal waters. She's singing with the heavenly choir, rejoicing daily in the presence of our Lord.

You are going through the grieving stages, some take longer than others. Find a group in your local community that helps each other deal with the loss of a loved one, whether it be a parent or child.

As another poster said it... put your hope in the Lord, talk with God daily, ask Him to help you cope with this loss of your dear mother. Our hope is in Jesus, He told us that He goes to prepare a place for us, for where He is we shall be also. Your mother's place was finished and she was called home. Rejoice in knowing she is now with our heavenly Father and not suffering physical pain any longer.

I will keep you in prayer, that you will be able to come to an understanding that will truly give you inward peace.

Answer 5

Be glad that she is not suffering anymore and she is with God. Take comfort that with her love 4 u she will always be by your side watching,guiding u. She is not gone cos u have memories which no1 can take away as long as u live.Pray 4 her and u will find peace. In yr prayers tell her u love her,miss her and will always take heed of all that she has taught u whereever she may be. Ask her 2 watch over u.

Answer 6

If you believe in Christ, we have a hope, A strong belief that You will see her as herself!! This death is just a temporary sleep, When God Comes back, all the dead will be awake and you will meet your mother, and all the good people will be taken to the heavens! if am good, i'll meet you both there in the heavens:) i know its sad to miss her here but, its a blessing that God has given us, Death. So that the old people wont have to live in this sinful, evil world too long seeing all the sad and bad stuff and worry themself. Let em sleep peacefully, and we'll meet them again.

Answer 7

I'd say start a journal about your mom, recording your memories and stories about her. This will help you remember everything you want to remember and help put her life and its affect on you in perspective.

To take it one step further, make a scrapbook about your mom and your life with her. Use photos, old receipts, letters and everything else you can find that remind you of your mom. A local scrapbook store (even Michaels) can help you with this. Then you'll have a keepsake to remind you about everything you know about your mom AND it will be something you can pass down to your children or nieces and nephews.

Answer 8

This sounds very serious, if you do not get counsling and poss. med to get u by this ... you will not even notice, it could be years down the road, This could turn your life around for the worse...

its called depression and could surface a lot worse later...so seek help now... and stay in Jesus....

Remember Jesus cried to God to let his sufferng pass and God did not..


ans in the end Jesus said God, why have you forsaken me...

The unanswered prayer.... and the question.... is what happens to us all.. for evil rules until the return of Christ...

She is with God and Jesus forever eternal

get counsling....... for Gods sake

Answer 9

John 14:1-4(i think its thru 4)

Do not let your hearts be troubled, trust in God, trust also in me. In my Fathers house there are many mansions. I am going there now to prepare a place for you. And if I go to prepare a place for you, you can be sure that I will come back for you, so that where I am, there you will also be..

Answer 10

Sorry to hear of your loss What has helped me is knowing that my mother is no longer suffering (cancer at 47)
I just stay busy when I get sad
I have a hope that I will see her again

Ask Jesus to give you strength he said he will not leave us comfortless

I also like what Shkthi said!!!