Hear my joke and put some up too?

Question

a man was driving on a busy street when he got caught in a traffic jam. as he was waiting in his car, a man rapped on his window. he wound down the window and the guy outside said,"George bush is being held hostage by a bunch of terrorists further up on the road. they demand 500 bucks or they'll pour petrol on Bush and burn him to death."
The man pulled out his wallet and asked,"about how muchare the others donating?" the guy outside grinned, lifted up a petrol can and replied,"about 1 litre"

Answer 1

George Bush has started an ill-timed and disastrous war under false pretenses by lying to the American people and to the Congress; he has run a budget surplus into a severe deficit; he has consistently and unconscionably favored the wealthy and corporations over the rights and needs of the population; he has destroyed trust and confidence in, and good will toward, the United States around the globe; he has ignored global warming, to the world's detriment; he has wantonly broken our treaty obligations; he has condoned torture of prisoners; he has attempted to create a theocracy in the United States; he has appointed incompetent cronies to positions of vital national importance.


Now, would someone please give him a ******** so we can impeach him?

Answer 2

A True Story Of Love - Very Touching.


A certain rich businessman had a beautiful daughter, who fell in love
with a guy who was a cleaner.

When the girl's father came to know about their love, he did not like
it at all,and so began to protest about it.

Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for
a happy future. The girl's father started searching for the two lovers but
could not find them.

At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home in a
local newspaper. Her father said "If you both come back I will allow you
to marry the guy you love, I accept that you loved each othertruly."

So in this way, their love won and they returned home. The couple
went to town to shop for the wedding dress. He was dressed in white shirt that
day.

While he was crossing the road to the other side to get some drinks for his
wife, a car came and hit him and he died on the spot. The girl lost her
senses. It was only after sometimes that she recovered from her shock. The funeral
and cremation was the very next day because he had died horribly.

Two nights later, the girl's mother had a dream in which she saw an
old lady.The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood stains of the guy
from her daughter's dress as soon as possible. But her mother ignored the
dream.

The next night her father had the same dream, he also ignored it.
Then when the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up in fear and
told her mother about the dream. Her mother asked her to wash the clothes
which have blood stains immediately.

She washed the stains but some remained. Next night she again had the
same dream she again washed the stains but some still remained.

Next night she again had the same dream and this time the old lady
gave her a last warning to wash the blood stain, or else something terrible will
happen.

This time the girl tried her best to wash the stains, and the
clothes nearly tore, but some stains still remained.

She was very tired.

In the late evening the same day while she was alone at home, someone
knocked the door. When she opened the door she saw the same old lady of her
dream standing at her door. She got very scared and fainted.

The old lady woke her up... and gave her a blue object, which shocked
the girl.

She asked "What is this...?" The old lady replied...

"Try Surf Exel Washing Powder... just a dab and it will remove all
stubborn stains!!!" .

I know how you all are feeling now... I have been through this too

Answer 3

Good 1
hehe

Married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is driving. His wife says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but I want a divorce."
The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph.
She then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been having an affair with your best friend and he's a better lover than you."
Again husband stays quiet and just speeds up as his anger increases.
She says, "I want the house." Again husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph.
She says, "I want the kids too." Husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, now he's up to 80 mph.
She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit cards too."
Husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"
Husband says, "No, I've got everything I need."
She asks, "What's that?"
Husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "I've got the
airbags."

Answer 4

Is this seat taken?
A man had great tickets for the Grand Final. As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No", he says. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible!" said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Grand Final, the biggest sporting event in NSW and not use it?" He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first Grand Final we haven't been to together since we got married. "Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat. The man shakes his head. "No. They're all at the funeral."

Answer 5

I like it.

Here's mine:

Grandpa is driving home from the lodge meeting one night when his wife calls him on the cell phone. She says: "Be careful driving home dear, there's some crazed maniac showing on the telly driving down the wrong side of the interstate." Grandpa replies, "Tell me about it; there's a whole bunch of them on the road I'm on."

Answer 6

lol...don't know but i like that joke...10!
thanks for sharing...:) hgday..cheers^^

sorry..got no better than that..^^^ thx