To other parents of kids with ADHD...?

Question

Have you ever wondered, if only you were a better parent, would he/she have so many problems? What should have been done differently and when? Or is it really genetic and unavoidable? What have you found that helps your family cope?

Answer 1

It's both, honestly. My son is bipolar and ADHD. I don't use those diagnoses as excuses. He still has to behave. HOW you get to the good behavior is probably different that the 'traditional' methods. As a parent to a bipolar or ADHD kid, you have to learn to be psychic, kind of. And flexible. Always flexible.

Without vigilant parenting, the symptoms could be so much worse. Read about about the disorder, and you will see what I mean. Yahoo has great groups for parents, too.

Answer 2

I am a special ed teacher with a great percentage of my students having ADHD. One thing I have never thought is that a parent did anything to cause ADHD. I work in a school in great poverty and many of my students live in homes with huge environmental issues. However, I see no difference in the ADHD between my students impacted by this poverty and horrible environmental factors to those who come from very good homes. It just seems to happen. I have observed that many children with ADHD have parents who exhibit the same character traits (of ADHD). I would bet that it is very much genetic. The families that cope the best with ADHD make a firm decision on how to deal with it (medication, behavioral approaches, etc), stick to that plan, and keep pushing forward with high expectations. These families also have parents who educate themselves on ADHD left and right. They find out what they need to know (different levels and amounts of information needed for different parents/families), work well with their family physician, counselor, psychiatrist, therapist, or whoever. It is important that you know how to help your child be responsible for your child's own actions and that you not feel like you did anything to cause this. Do your best and that is all you can do!

Answer 3

I am the poster-child for ADD and my brother has ADHD. My parents did nothing wrong and if you cared enough to ask the question neither are you. Yes, it is genetic and yes it does suck. One thing found in many cases is that people with ADHD are sometimes more intelligent, etc. I don't know how old your childen are, but one thing I would do is try and tackle the problems caused by this early on if you can. If they're having trouble in school, get a tutor or extra help so they don't fall behind, etc.

Answer 4

I doubt there's a parent who does not blame themself for their child's shortcomings or problems. We live in a society that expects to assign blame for the most trivial of problems, let alone the big ones.

We are raising ADD and ADHD grandchildren and are also therapeutic foster parents for teenage girls. Beside a minimal dose of drug support the most effective way for us to help them all cope is by creating a routine and maintaining it. They get up at the same time, do the same activities at the same time, evening routine is maintained, and bath & bed routines are kept as constant as possible.

This does not mean it's the same thing everyday. We have a complex schedule of work, sport practises, after school lessons, and recreation. But, the overall schedule remains the same with predictability.

The downside is that we don't really get to "sleep in" on the weekends (sigh) because the children are used to waking up at a certain time. Nor can we use the "stay up later with a family movie & popcorn in the living room" activity because they start to snore after the opening credits.

But since the alternative is high medications and constant bedlam I'll vote to see a few more sunrises and smiles.

Answer 5

Sure I "what if"....but what good is it going to do? I love my son and enjoy who he is & wish him happiness for all his life.