I got married a few months ago and didnt really tell anyone. I just went and got married. A few people that I thought where my friends have since quit talking to me and are spreading horrible rumors about me and my husband. My family and his family who also didnt know until after we were already married never really got mad. Should I consider my "friends" reactions to be normal or are they jsut acting immature?
2006-07-21 18:43:52 · 7 answers · asked by Amber 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I have said for years that when I get married that it would be just the way that it happened. Im not one for big shows and "ooohh look at me" events. Keeping this in mind I dont understand their anger. I did apologize when I found out that they were hurt but that wasnt enough for them. I honestly didnt think that it would hurt their feelings bad enough to end a 6yr friendship.
2006-07-21 20:21:51 · update #1
I am probably fixing to disagree with everyone else that posts an answer to your question. I definitely do not think that was an unusual or selfish thing you did.
I say that they should get over it. They have no reason to be mad or spread rumors. You always told them you were going to do this and obviously they didn't listen.
I did the same thing... except I was planning a big wedding and just eloped. We grabbed our folks and left. We both decided it was becoming more of a show than the simple and intimate service we wanted.
As far as the rumors, don't let them bother you. People would have talked even if you had the big elaborate wedding everyone else wanted you to have. Your friends will be okay. If they are or ever were true friends, they will understand and be fine. It is just a shock...or they could simply be jealous.
Don't lose any sleep... it's not worth it.
email me if you need someone to talk to ~ April
2006-07-21 22:23:45 · answer #1 · answered by mrslang1976 4 · 17⤊ 2⤋
There is a certain level of anger or any other emotion that is justifyable at a certain level for a period of time. If a child wails and carrys on for hours b/c his mother didn't buy him a candy bar at the check out line, then that is too extreme. I think your friends fall into this category.
HOWEVER!
My best friend didn't even tell me he was getting married until months after the engagement. He also decided to have it family only so I wasn't even the best man or allowed to go to the wedding, even though I was his best friend. Guess what? That was February 1999, and I haven't spoken to him since. Over reaction? Maybe, but you only find out what you are truly worth to your friends on very rare occasions, weddings, funerals, or tragic accidents etc. He blew it, and I am glad I stayed away for the past 7+ years.
2006-07-21 18:57:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is unusual to just go and get married. Many people find the ceremony to be meaningful and want to be a part of it.
Rumors?
Surely you can see why rumors would fly.
Your real friends are hurt because they weren't allowed to attend. False friends are delighted because they can fault you for being the fool they always knew you were.
Forget about all of that.
The real issue is are you pleased by your actions? Are you happy? Did you do the right thing?
To worry about the reactions of others is just acting immature.
2006-07-21 18:48:59 · answer #3 · answered by Temple 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can understand why they might be hurt. Most women get all giddy and excited about planning a huge wedding with as many people as possible....by running off in secret you just riased questions for them. By not telling your familes before you only made it worse. I am not sure why you had to get married in secret, but if you just felt you needed privacy, then ignore your friends (they arent even your friends).
2006-07-21 18:46:58 · answer #4 · answered by cognitively_dislocated 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is a strange and selfish thing you did. I would be extremely hurt also. Spreading rumors is totally immature. If it were a true friend i would get over it eventually.
2006-07-21 18:46:36 · answer #5 · answered by chill'n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are not so much mad, as they are hurt.
They love you and feel hurt that you didn't want them there, on one of the most important days of your life.
They feel like, you don't like them that much.
I think the spreading rumours thing, is just their way of coping with being hurt.
It is taking the edge off of their plight.
2006-07-21 18:49:34 · answer #6 · answered by Molly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
normal
2006-07-21 18:45:18 · answer #7 · answered by cvhiew8873 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋