What would you do?

Question

If you could meet you birth parents after not seeing them for 4 years and they were bad parents
Would you meet them?
Or just live your life and forget about them?

I just want to say first of all I love that people have actually taken the time to give me their advice and I really truly mean it when I say thank you.
And just to help people understand here’s a little bit more info.
I was born in the US but my birth mom took me to Russia cuz that’s where she is from (and my dad) I stayed there till I was nine. I’m 13 now and now my birth parents wanna meet me. The reason why I’m asking for help is cuz they never really even wanted me and they never treated like they wanted me so I just found it odd that anyone would wanna do that. I was confused and wanted people’s advice. Just cuz I couldn’t decide. But I’m the kinda person who says “What if? So after a couple of weeks of thinking I’m just gonna meet them. I’m gonna go in there expecting the worst as it could possibly be and hopefully it won’t get to that. Thank you for all you advice it’s helped me a lot and I will come back and tell you about it. I think you people deserve it…

Answer 1

id want to meet them...ive never meet my birth father and he has never seen me...i mean never i dont even know if he knows im alive...my mom refuses to tell me about him 2...but i wood want to meet them no matter wut...

Answer 2

I would meet them if for no other reason than to get a medical history of your actual family. I don't know how old you are or how much you know about your family, but having information like that that could help protect you down the road is priceless.

Now for the "bad parents" thing. I have no doubt that they hurt you. But people do change. I would at least give them one more chance, and then if you don't want to associate with them after that, just move on and live your life.

They may try to approach you at some later date, but you can cross that bridge when you come to it.

Answer 3

Well I just recently met my mother she left me and dad when I was three. I posed the question right on her myself as to what I should do because I was Torn between wanting to Pretend she never left and wanting to Tell her off Big time. A guy on her said people make mistakes. And he also asked me if I wouldn't look back years from now and wonder WHAT IF if I didn't see her. I can't tell you how your situation will work out as for mine I met with my mom and I'm glad I did We arn't Buddy Buddy yet but we have formed a New foundation on which hopefully we can build a relationship. Good Luck I truely hope everything works out in the end that you can be Happy with whatever decision you make.

Answer 4

I thinkn that I would have to meet them. Not to be mean to them but because they are a part of me and I would want to see that. One time does not mean that they have to be in your life just that you have questions you need answers to. This is your chance so sieze it. Just go in expecting the truth because it may not be what you want to hear but have the questions answered so that you never have to think about it again. Also I want to leave you with a motto that I live by. My parents were not good at everything but one thing they taught me will always be the best lesson I ever learned. By their actions I learned how not to be a parent. I learned what not to do and how not to act. I will make mistakes as a parent but they will not be the mistakes of my parents. I hope this helps good luck.

Answer 5

Yes I would meet them. The curiosity would drive me nuts. It would be better to meet them because maybe you could tell them how you really feel and those feelings wouldn't haunt you anymore. Then you could go on to be an adult with out the issues they put on you. Growth is always a good thing.

Answer 6

Well, if you are old enough to ask this question, you obviously already know them, since it has only been four years since you last saw them. It would depend on how you personally feel about these people whether or not you should see them. I must say that if they are bad parents, you will better appreciate your adoptive parents.

Answer 7

You can not forgive the past until you have actually faced it. I would write down EVERYTHING that I wanted to ask them and say to them.
After doing that then I would move on with my life knowing I have confronted those demons.
Don't excessively talk about them, literally move on after confronting them.
Now, if it turns out that you decide to have a relationship with them then so be it...just do it...what do u have to lose?
Good luck and please come back and let us know how everything turns out for you.

Answer 8

i wouldnt forget about them but i would not go and take the chance of having something u dont like happen not that ur parents would hurt u in any way
just follow ur heart is all i can realy say

Answer 9

All depends on how YOU FEEL.
Whose initiative is this meeting? Yours? Theirs?
If you don't care about them the choice is easy.
Now, if you DO care, even though they are bad parents, go for it.

Answer 10

id meet them because i would like to see where i come from, know myself better. why forget about them when they are a part of u!

Answer 11

if i were you i would want to see them. some people dont have parents to see or cant see their parents because of cirtain reasos. see some people have it badder than you. i guess thiss means you should go for it wats the worst that can happen.