What do I do now?

Question

Hi my name is Maria. My Uncle that just turned 30 on the third of this month passed away at 5 a.m. this morning. He had Hodgkin's Lymphoma and Multiple Myeloma. Could someone just tell me what to do now. The showing of his body will be this coming Sunday and the Funeral will be Monday. Anyone have any advice or encouragement..

Answer 1

I'll say a few prayers for you and your family...

Answer 2

That's very sad i know that all you can say is here i am is there anything that you need thats prolly the best thing that you can do just let every1 know that you are there and if you are takeing things hard just find a shoulder to cry on some1 that can take some of the stress away possibly not a close friend or member of the family cuz then they got your grief to deal with to i hope that you take no offense i have a friend and her son got cancer from having a tooth pulled and when they pulled it they exposed his jaw then eventually his eye had to be removed and his jaw bone was taken out cuz his face was eat up with cancer well he died i think like 3 months from when he was diagnosed and then 5 months later husband was diagnosed with spots on his lungs well the stupid A$$ doctor that took the x-ray didn't tell her that if the biopsied the spot that if it was cancer that it would spread like wild fire so they agreed to have the spot biopsied and when they did as soon as they punctured the spot on his lung it spread and they they found out that the other lung was just totally engulfed with cancer and he died like 4-5 months later all within 8-9 months she lost her son and husband to cancer and believe me i know your pain cancer is the worst thing out there in my personally opinion and what is even worse she has been a smoker all her life and several years ago she went to the doctor for a cough that would not go away and when they x-rayed her lungs she has black spots on they and so her doctor told her that she needed to have it biopsied and she told him absolutely NOT cuz they think that if her husband had not had that punctured and not spread all over his body then he would have lived longer

Answer 3

The next few days are going to feel very strange. You'll probably see relatives you haven't seen in years, and they'll all be going in and out of the same house. Friends and neighbors will bring plates of food, but you may not feel like eating. Try not to be upset if you hear people laughing or acting inappropriately at times. Funerals make people do strange things sometimes. Others may be overcome with grief, so you may want to spend some time just holding their hands or letting them talk and cry.

As for yourself, I'd suggest picking and choosing your moments spent with family. It's very easy to get tired of people at a difficult time like this. You might want to find family photos with your uncle to share with the relatives or tell some stories about him that others may not have heard.

Take comfort in the fact that he's not suffering from the effects of the cancer anymore. You helped him endure the last few months with your presence and your concern. Find some time to be alone and allow yourself to let him go.

Answer 4

So sorry to hear about your uncle....

All you have to do is just go - that is it.

If you are sad, it is OK to cry, if you start thinking about good times you had together it is OK to smile. It is OK to be sad, relieved, angry, happy, whatever. Losing someone brings up a lot of emotions and all you can do is ride them out, feel them and move on.

You can support your other family members just by your presence. You can say, "I've been thinking about you", "How are you?" - just simple things that let them know you care about them but that do not presuppose how they might be feeling at the moment.

I would encourage you to view his body. There is something about it that helps our brains understand that yes, he is really gone. If you really do not want to, though, just stay in your seat - funerals are about the people left behind and helping them come to terms with the loss. Be true to yourself and just do what you can.

Big Hug - R

Answer 5

First off, I'm so sorry. If you're having a tough time dealing with this, seek out a loss/grief support group. They'll be able to help. Other than that, I'd say be there for your family to console them, and you can help each other through this difficult time. If you wanted to, you could get together a donation (either from you or from your family as a group) to donate to a cancer research fund in his name. Also, try to go on with your normal activities, but allow yourself to grieve - it's okay to cry about it, or to get angry about it, or even to just not understand it. Best of luck.

Answer 6

Hello Maria, my condolences on your Uncle...but in all honesty he is much better now, because he doesn't have to suffer...Death is always hard no matter how old you get, you just have to understand that Death is a stage in life and everyone will succumb to it one day...that is why you should say your last goodbye to your Uncle and try to live your life to it's fullest (I am sure that is what your Uncle would want for you!)....just show up and be supportive of those who may need your help right now...and it's alright to cry, it is one of our many ways to express ourselves for those we love....Best of luck in the future and take care sweetie!!

Answer 7

First I just want to say that I am so sorry for your loss but just remember that sometimes death can be a kindness b/c now your uncle is in a better place and no longer has to suffer like he was. Just take it one day at a time.

Answer 8

Hi,

sorry for your loss, remember him and that he is at peace now.

Your profile says you like to help; that is a good way to get through greif; help others.

I am not sure where you are; since he died of MM and HL, you could help with some fund raising or community service in memory of your uncle. By helping out, you can hope that someday, others will not need to have their uncle's die of MM.

The two organizations:

http://www.myeloma.org/main.jsp

http://www.leukemia-lymphoma.org/hm_lls

Sorry for your loss,

Jewells
29 months and still here

Answer 9

Maria, condolences to you and your family for the loss of your uncle. Please think about the love you had for your uncle and remember happy times. I have heard it said in many ways that we are blessed to have people we really love with us, but we must realize we cannot keep them forever. For now, take the time to say goodbye to your uncle. Remember good times he had and think about what it must be like to be released from pain and suffering. Blessings to you and your family and may your uncle rest peacefully.

Answer 10

I'm sorry for your loss. Let time heal the wounds and keep the good memories of your uncle. Bless you!

Answer 11

Well, I'm sorry about your uncle. Remember the good times with him and don't be sad, he's at PEACE now. He doesn't have to fight the sickness anymore.