this ones serious..what should I do?

Question

ok, i don't know where to start...im 14 and i have a girlfriend. her dad does not want her to talk to me. her mom finds ways to let her come places with me though. her dad is not fair to her at all. (he reads text messages i send her, which is not fair in any way)
She has to lie to him, she told him i was just her friend, (not true) and her mother lets her go behind his back and come hang out with me, but she won't try to get the dad to change his mind. I think somebody really needs to talk to him. I'm not a bad kid, and I would never mistreat his daughter. What should I do?

hes not doing his job hes just being cruel.

im an average student

shes 14 too

WHAT? BACK OFF FROM HER? IF THAT WAS REALLY AN OPTION, WOULD I HAVE BROUGHT THE PROBLEM HERE? NO I DONT WANT ANOTHER GIRL I WANT THIS ONE, ILL GET SHOT BY THE FATHER IF I HAVE TO.

HA. being a good parent? hes being overprotective, and thats all. nothing good is coming out of it. if hes going to be that strict, he must want her to be unhappy. and he leaves her no choice but to sneak out.

no, i wont respect him if he wont repsect me.

Screw You, i'm not focused on girls, i'm focused on ONE girl.

Answer 1

Be a man and go talk to the father,Tell him what you wrote down here.Expect the stuff about your gf's mom going behind his back nd letting her see you.But tell him that you will always respect his daughter and that you are willing to let him oversee as many dates that you and her have as he wants.You may not like that idea but its a way that he can trust you and his daughter together and you get to keep you girlfriend.Oh and have your girlfriend in on the deal.Talk to her mom about going behnd her husbends back.Its not good to have one parent likeing you and one parent hateing you.When it comes to their little girls,dads get wierd.But trust me its better for you to be a man and face him than to cont. your relationship with his daughter like it is now.

Answer 2

As hard as it may be, you have to be patient. Yes, the fact that he reads her mail is unfair, but, you also have to understand the fact that he IS a father, more or less, and almost all fathers are very overprotective and don't want their daughters to ever stop being their little girl. Of course, he'll have to let go someday, but right now, he doesn't feel that he has to. Just try to be patient if you can, and if you can't, try to get more visits with your girlfriend through her mother, because at the moment, it looks like that's as good as it's gonna get.

Answer 3

For starters, if I had a 14 yo daughter I would find it Extremely fair to read her text messages. Particularly if I provide the phone. She is my responsibility as a parent and I can get into big problems if she gets into trouble. You may not be a bad kid but there are probably things about you that her dad dislikes. For starters, are you a good student? Your perception is he is cruel, but my perception is that he is being a good parent who cares about the well being of his daughter. My guess is that there is a whole lot of the story you have left out.

Answer 4

You have to remember that her father was 14yrs old too once. He is now a man and he knows what boys are like so don't take it too hard as you are too young to understand where he is coming from. He is only looking out for his daughter welfare. Women i feel sometimes are more understanding and trusting, the mother obviously sees the innocence in you, or has a good and trusting relationship with her daughter, so if she is sneaking behind her husbands back you better behave.

Answer 5

Like it or not, he's her dad. He doesn't care if your a good kid. He just doesn't want his little girl mixed up with guys yet...I am assuming she is also 14?, if she is younger then you really need to find someone your own age (I know its hard). Your best bet is to give her space, show him you can respect him, and when your both a little older, he really won;t have any excuse. Right now though anything you say or do to him is only going to anger him more and ruin any chance you have with her.

Answer 6

Stay out of it and count yourself lucky that you get to see her at all. Let the women in his family handle the father. Father's have a hard time letting anyone get close to their daughters and they have a hard time accepting that their little girl is old enough to date. The fact that the mom likes you works very well in your favor. Honor their wishes in how you act around the father. often they have a whole plan worked out and it is just a matter of patience.

Peace!

Answer 7

It sounds like your girlfriend and her mother need to discuss this situation openly and honestly with her father.

Please trust me when I tell you that no one 14 years old thinks that their parents are fair. Her Dad may be trying to keep her safe and he may be going a bit overboard, but you have to give him credit for caring what happens to his daughter.

If her Dad has other issues then it is up to his family to discuss them with him.

Be patient. It sounds like you guys can see each other socially, I am guessing at the mall or places like that. I can assure you that I was a pretty cool father but my daughters were not allowed to "officially" date until they were 16.

Answer 8

You're 14 years old, definitely don't need the drama and have plenty of time to have relationships. You are too young to be dating anyway. Focus more on school and not a girl.

Answer 9

just imagine yourself a father , and your kid is 14 how would you feel, you have to be patient , Her dad is just doing his job. The best way to win his heart is to give him total respect nomatter what he says or does, then you will win His heart , and most importantly his daughters even more. Be patient.

Answer 10

Back off from this. It may seem important to you to continue this relationship but is it more important than the fact that this is causing a daughter to lie to her father and a wife to lie to her husband?