MY HOT BOY FRIEND is being so mean to me what do i do!!!?

Question

HE grew up with a crackhead mom and a jail bird dad and he got abused and he saw his mother die right in front of him. I feel so bad for him. And he like pushes me around and says really mean things to me. i don't think he know that he is treating me how he was treated. And i tell him about it and then he says he is sorry... and then is starts to happen again and it is just a cycle. But i really do love him what do i do!!!! And he is hot!!!!!!!!!! and the magority of the time we get along so good!!!!!!!!HELP!!!

Answer 1

Why put your self through this?!!? Get out!!! This can lead to no good!!! You can do better!!!

Answer 2

While I understand the popular notion that environment and heredity play important roles in human behavior, actually they don't. Behavior reflects personal, individual perspectives and choices. Therefore, this man does not treat you badly because he grew up with a crackhead mom and a jail bird dad and because he got abused, etc. No! He treats you badly because he does not value you or your relationship. He will not change unless he wants you more than he wants his mean and controlling demeanor. So certainly, you should get out of this unhealthy relationship.
Additionally, you should ask yourself why and how you came to be attracted to such a mean and controlling person. You should also consider why you're willing to listen to and accept his excuses for lousy behavior.
So you see, "ditching" him is only half of your answer. You need to answer at least the other two questions so you don't get trapped in this cycle again.
Have a nice day

Answer 3

the past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior,.. I think i heard that from Dr. Phil.. hehehe.. But its sooo true.

He has come from a hard back ground and all you want to do is be there to protect him and love him. He sadly doesn't know how to show you the same kind of love and respect you so truly deserve.
If he loves you and you make sure he knows how bad her hurts you then he should be able to make a serious change in his life by going to counseling. Because he has some major issues here that he needs to work on... alone.. but with a professional who can help him.
As long as you are not in any danger, physically emotionally or any other kind of danger then I would say try to work things out. But like I said before. He HAS TO KNOW how hes hurting you and if he doesn't care... get out... find someone you will have fun with and will treat you good ALL THE TIME.
PS...Looks aren't everything honey!

Answer 4

First and foremost, It Does Not Matter what this guy LOOKS like!!

Secondly, you can feel sorry for the way he was raised, but it is NOT your job to fix him. He needs therapy, counseling, anger management classes.

I do not need him, nor do you deserve to be treated like that no matter how much you get along in the good parts of the cycles.

Go to a support group for women of abusive relationships and let them tell you how the whole thing is a cycle, where he gets you on his side, gets you away from everyone else so he can be in control, then the violent part comes, then the appoligy part comes.

Answer 5

Sorry to tell you this, but he will never stop, and your relationship will never get better, it will only get worse. No matter how much you love him, there is no hope for happiness with him unless he admits he has a problem of abusing you, and gets counseling to help him understand and control his emotions and anger. You can get counseling for yourself from people who are experts in this field, and they will help you to see there is very little hope for happiness, and very much liklihood of your being badly injured, unless he gets some treatment. The cycle of abuse gets worse and worse. The #1 cause of women's deaths in the U.S. is homicide at the hands of a loved one. They all loved their men, too, and now they are gone forever. Please get help for yourself to understand why your man is acting like this. See if he wants to stop it. If not, you have to get out. He won't stop on his own, no matter what you say or do - he needs counseling. (Also, if he was truly sorry, he would NEVER act like that to you again, so don't believe it when he says he's sorry, because he isn't). And yes, he does know exactly what he is doing when he does this to you, or he would be doing it to everyone else and would have been in jail a long time ago!

Answer 6

Regardless of his past, he is old enough to realize what is right and what is wrong. People always have the ability to break a cycle of abuse, whether through self realization or major therapy, if needed.

What I want to say to you is that you are important and you should put your needs first. You do not deserve to be mistreated, there are no excuses that I can think of that would make it okay.

Move on with your life now; who knows, perhaps taking a stand will make him get some help. You can care for people and their feelings without letting yourself get hurt.

Good luck and remember that you are someone very important!

Answer 7

Ok this is a person with more issues then is worth dealing with. He is mad at himself, his family, and everyone around him. He is probably a great person but HE has to realize that. He prob has very low self esteem and he is prob constantly battleing with himself. He definalty isnt happy with who he is yet, or where he came from. He will change sooner or later but it could take years or never happen. So you have to be the person to decide if you want to stick around and help. I know its hard to actually admit that he might be too needy. In a couple of years you never know he may grow up and actually become stable or he can become worse or violent. But you have to ask yourself do you want to stick around and find out. I have been there done that. It didnt work for me I have the same situation. He turned into a drunk and did nothing with his life but get dwi and do drugs. No money saved no life plan and he is only 26.

Answer 8

I;m sorry but Idon't know if, with a past like that, he will change. It's only up to him. For the way he is treating you I wouldn't think twice about dumping him. Talk to him again, tel him how you fell, if he doesn't listen dump him right away, otherwise, I'm telling you: He won't change.
Looks don't really matter anyways. You know someday they will pass right? And all you will have left is a mean bf.

Answer 9

Your probably about 16, 17max because no girl should let any guy lay one finger on her in any abusive way. What I mean by your age is because I was once that age and I pretty much described my boyfriend like you so don't get offended. His childhood shouldn't push him to doing this to you. If you really love him look up programs on the Internet under teen helpline. That will lead you to the right program even though he no longer is a kid you could still ask child abuse and they can refer you to a special program for his age and in your area.

Answer 10

If he was treated badly while growing up, it's the only example he has seen of how to treat another person, especially a woman. The cycle of his verbal and physical abuse will not stop but it may escalate until you are really injured. Ask him if he would attend counseling with you with a couples therapist. If you allow him to treat you this way, he will not stop.

Answer 11

For one you need to stop busting his e-go. He is so hot, although that can be a plus a big plus it doesn't give him the right to treat anyone that way, expecially the girl that is so understanding about everything that he has gone through. Does he know the things that you have been through and do you push him around and call him names? Probably not, and you deserve the same treatment. If he really loves you then he wouldn't do the things that he has to you. Now i will tell ya'll something that very few people know because i loved this man so much. When i was 15 i dated this guy and everything was great, i thought, he took medication for his liver and if he didn't he would die. So i spun a lot of time with him, plus he was so hot and the way he kissed, it would make you week in the knees. He had his past though and when he would think about it he would ge mad and end up pushing on me and calling me names and jurk me around but nothing bad and i always thought it was nothing to worry about and he loved me. Well one night i was with him and two of our friends and he asked me to get his meds. ,everything was fine, i said yes and he kissed me, well after i got them and he took them he asked if i could get his shoes and i said yes and he told me to take his meds back to the bathroom well i went back into the house and he walked in after me, i didn't realize it , well i placed his meds one the counter and grabed his shoes then turned around he pushed me and said don't you ever ****** listen? i said what , he said i told you to take my meds back to the bath, i said i am i was going to give you your shoes and then while i went to the restroom i was going to take your meds back, is that okay with you and befor i knew it he hit me with a closed fist, it landed on the side of my face, i woke up 3 hours later with my eye swollen shut, my cheek swoolen and bloody with a cut and my lip busted. My friends were cleaning me up and he was crying and kept saying he was sorry and that he loved me. Well sweetheart answer me this does it sound like he loved me? i didn't think so. i left him that night and he called me for 2 months and then the phone calls stoped and i found out he was in jail for assalt with a deadly weapon and is serving 26 years, and to think it could have been me, so my advice is to leave him alone, he isn't worth it and if you stay then you never know what could happen, and your life and you alone is worth much more then what he is treating you. so good luck.