i lost the love of my life ,to cancer about 1 month ago,could anyone tell me when the hurt stops?

Answer 1

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can relate. And the hurt will never really go away. It just fades with time. You need to hear some insp;iring words (as I did). So here goes: my favorite quote, courtesy of Mother Theresa (I have this on my refrigerator). 'God never gives me more than I can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much'. There is one answer. God trusts you. Another thought: God didn't promise, when he put any of us on earth, that he would let us stay forever. Your special person was here, on God's schedule, and did what he was supposed to do. And God said 'o.k., you did great. Now it's time to come home'. And so special person was called home. When we're put here on earth, we're given free will. Sometimes I wish that was not true, but it is. God gives us free will. He doesn't make us sick. It happens. And sometimes there's a miracle, and the cancer, or whatever, goes away. Sometimes God doesn't feel that a miracle is what he wants. I guess the bottom line is this: your special person isn't really gone. He/she will live in your heart, and memory, forever. Keep in mind that your special person can see you. What would he/she want you to be doing? You have to keep living. It says something about the effect this person had on you. That you have strength. This love of your life wouldn't want you to be hurting. Instead of hurting, take the hurt and use it to give you strength, to help someone else who may be going through something similar. And the best advice of all is: talk to the 'Boss'. God is right there with you. To quote one of my affirmations that is on my bedroom wall: 'God doesn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, or sun without rain. God does promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and a light for the way. And for all who believe . . .and have faith, he answers that faith with everlasting love.' Have faith, you're not alone. You're never alone. Karen . . Angel in Training, 2nd Class

Answer 2

I can't tell you when the hurting will stop, only time can tell. It will take quite a long time, and I'm sure it's very hard for you right now even if it happened a month ago, and loosing someone is the hardest thing to ever recover. I'm sorry for the terrible tragedy, but you most likely need to move on and live life as it is. You can't sit home and dwell over this because your life isn't the end of it. Go out with friends, pick up a new hobby to keep your mind off of it and to keep your occupied. The only way it will help you get over it is by keeping yourself busy, not just sitting at home wondering about it. So get off the computer and go call up a friend and go to Starbucks or something! =).

Answer 3

I am so sorry to hear that. I lost a family member to cancer a few months ago. I'm not sure you ever really get over it but in time you accept. I'm not trying to act like I know what you are going through because I hate to imagine losing my husband, but I do know that you have to really be in pain right now and the best thing you can do is be with other loved ones. If you don't have anyone else I'm willing to listen. Hope your spirits lift soon.

Answer 4

I'm sorry for your loss, I really am.
I just lost my mother about three weeks ago and it still hurts a lot.
But it's getting better. I can actually think of her and not cry as much now.
It's gonna hurt for awhile, but as the days go on, it will get better, I promise.
If for some reason it doesn't seem to you like it is you may want to try grief counseling or some form of therapy. Some times talking and crying really do help.

Answer 5

The hurt never stops. So keep the happy memory alive, in your mind, your heart in what you do.

I lost my Father when he was 26 and I was 7 months old. My mother was 18. I never knew him, just knew of him. This was in 1954. My cousin from his side of the family sent me a video cd that had old family movies, and I saw a 5 second clip of my father "moving" as opposed to still pictures. (which I have seen a lot of). My mom and I place flowers on his grave every Memorial Day. No the hurt doesnt go away, but keeping the memory alive makes it bearable.

Answer 6

You have to grieve for the person you love and thats normal and it takes people different times. I lost someone I loved and it took a long time, at first I was numb, then I kept expecting to see that person, something would remind me of them. Finally I cried and cried and cried. It was hard to believe and harder to accept. But in the end I took out the photo and now I can remember the good things and the good times with them. By doing that I am honoring that person in my heart. Now I feel a little sad sometimes, but my good memories are a comfort as it will be to you someday. But the only way through it, is through it. Good Luck and Peace

Answer 7

remember that person is in a better place now, and that person will live in your heart forever. You will always have memories, although the hurting will never stop, we just have to realize these things and move on, one chapter of your life is closed, and a new was is being written or born. You cant dwell on the past, just know that that person is with you whereever you go. Its only natural to hurt, even for a long time, but you still must move on no matter what.

Answer 8

The intense pain should stop once the immediate grieving period has ended. This time varies for people. After that, you will hurt, probably forever, but it should be only mild. It's ok to hurt, just make sure you're not going through this alone and always have conversations with other people if you ever need to get thoughts or feelings out.

Answer 9

That's a hard question! You know, it depends on the individual and what you do to make it go away. You have to go through certain phases. I think at first its shock because even though you knew it would happen its just shocking. Then you get angry. Then you get numb and that's when you get dangerous. Some people start using drugs or alcohol. Hopefully, you won't do this. You just have to remember the happy times you had with this person but try to put them somewhere safe in the back of your mind and try to go on with your life. Turn to your friends or if you are a religious person, ask God for help. It's hard to go through something like this alone. Remember we have the right to choose! We can choose to be happy or we can choose to be sad. Sometimes we have to force ourselves to be happy but once you fake it for awhile, eventually you really are happy again. You never forget the love of your life but you manage to go on and enjoy life as your lover would have wanted you to. Good luck to you. I'll be thinking of you in prayer.

Answer 10

It will get easier or rather the deep pain will subside but when my aunt, father, uncle and 2 close friends died in a six month span I went to a support group and that did help. There are some out there that are good. You hear the stories about wo is me groups but call the cancer center in your city/town they will be able to help.
Find a good friend that will listen and be there for you.
God Bless