My brothers grown children are pretty rude. They never send thank you notes, announcements, or anything.
My nephew and his wife had a baby... probably 5 months ago... no notice. Christmas gifts sent to their children... not even an acknowledgement that they received, let alone thanks for the gift and that they enjoyed them.
Now I just got a invitation to a baby shower for a girl I don't even know who she is. She DOES have my maiden name...so.. is she a new bride?
I hear - through my daughter who gave a caller the other night our address (the invitation came to me as my maiden name- I've been married nearly 20 years)...that yeah MAYBE the second son is married now...because here comes a baby.
No wedding invitation or announcement that he got married...and now I am to shell out money for a gift?
I won't hear from them past this "gimme a gift" request?
Should I send a gift? Attend the shower? Or say... NO MORE!
I am heading toward the last, myself.
2006-07-21 15:50:26 · 23 answers · asked by Mc K 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I agree with Shannon. They are just looking to get stuff from anyone they can think of.
Or, better yet, Send a Congrats on the upcoming baby card, with a note that says, By the way... Who are you?
Maybe that will give the hint.
2006-07-21 15:57:11 · answer #1 · answered by Jen 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are not comfortable, you can choose not to attend the shower or give the gift.
However, there are always two sides of a coin. In human relationships, it always takes two hands to clap. When they did not send thank you cards, could it be because something happened to them and they couldnt do so?
Obviously, if you did not know what is happening in their family (without them sending invites to you), you are probably not taking an interest in their welfare and lives as well.
If you look at it positively, giving a gift and attending + making an effort to catch up could turn the relationship around.
The choice is yours ;)
Good Luck!
2006-07-21 16:09:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree. Don't reward rude, tactless, impolite behavior! It's not acceptable by today's standards or you wouldn't be asking and I wouldn't hand write thank you notes for all gifts. Birthdays, Christmas, etc.
My husband's brother's family NEVER sends us a thank you note, but we continue to send their kids gifts for Christmas and birthdays because they are our nephews and niece and all under 10.
I grew up writing the notes and believe it's just good manners! Which is why my sister sends a thank you note for all the gifts we get her and her family. And we appreciate not only the acknowledgment that they arrived, but that they like and are enjoying the gifts we chose for them.
I'm with you!
2006-07-21 16:03:50 · answer #3 · answered by Bethany 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are honest with yourself, you already know the answer you want to hear. Ignore the invitation.
If you find yourself feeling guilty, (don't), send a card.
Otherwise, you're setting yourself up, once again, for dissapointment.
You're family insn't really interested in furthering communication, and sending them gifts in order to gain their approval isn't going to work either.
Save the money you might have spent, and spend it on yourself, or your friends, or heck, give it to a stranger on the street who looks like they could actually use it. Trust me, they'll say "thank you", and you will actually feel good inside for doing something for someone who needs help.
Good luck.
2006-07-21 16:00:12 · answer #4 · answered by jmiller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to say, NO MORE! She sounds like a gift grabber to me - sending out invitations to people, probably hoping they won't even come but will send a gift anyways. Since it's possible she's a relative, send a card if you want, but I wouldn't send money or a gift. If they don't know enough to send it to your married name, I don't think you know THEM well enough to be obliged to send them anything. Good luck! I know it's a tough decision!
2006-07-21 15:55:44 · answer #5 · answered by They call me ... Trixie. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are obviously giving gifts for the wrong reason, Why does anyone have to acknowledge your kindness in order for you to continue to be kind?
You are supposed to give a gift to someone because it makes you feel good, Not because you feel somehow obligated.
If you give a gift and that makes you feel good, Then you have gotten out of it what you wanted, Leave it at that.
2006-07-21 16:05:08 · answer #6 · answered by chubbiguy40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would send a card and write congrats to them. If you ignore them you will be the same as they are. A card is nice enough and lets them know that you care but won't make you feel taken advantage of. The new girl in the family only wrote the address given, she doesn't really know his family yet so I wouldn"t blame her. She hasn't been rude yet.
2006-07-21 16:01:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, people make way more out of this thank you note stuff than I think is necessary. I personally have no time to sit and write thank you notes. I say thank you when it's given or I call. As for the baby shower, if you have no idea who it is then why are you worrying about it. Ignore!
2006-07-21 16:00:45 · answer #8 · answered by h.coleman7 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you decide to send a gift you should send it because you want to give the baby a gift.....not expecting a thank you note. It's rude of them but there you have it.
2006-07-21 15:58:39 · answer #9 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pretend you never got the invite. If they don't even know your correct name, they're not gonna notice they didn't get a gift from you. And they don't deserve one anyway if they cant send a thank you note.
2006-07-21 15:55:19 · answer #10 · answered by April T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋