any sick tasteless jokes?¿?¿?

Question

the one that grosses me out the most will get10 pts! its that easy.
now bring it people

Answer 1

there are three men who were stranded in the desert. they were tired of walking, hungry, and thirsty. they finally come across a house. there is a truck outside of it with money inside of it and they were sure there was water in the house. they get one guy to go up to the house and ask for the water. so he goes up to the house knocks on the door and the ugliest old lady ever answers. he asks politely if him and his friends could please have some water. the old lady smiles and pulls him into her kitchen. then says:"yes if u screw me." so the guy is hesitant and then says:"ok but u have to close ur eyes." so the old lady does and he picks up a corn on the cob and screws her with it then once she has an orgasm throws it out the window. then the old lady says:"if u do me again i'll give u the money." the guy agrees and says:"ok but u have to close ur eyes again." so she does and he screws her with another corn on the cob. then throws it out the window. wanting more the old lady says:" i'll give u the truck if u do me one more time." he agrees and says u still have to close ur eyes. so the old lady does and he picks up a corn on the cob and screws her again. then throws it out the window. when the guy walks out of the house with the keys and a cooler of water his friends rush up to him. they were eatin corn on the cob and one says:" can u believe it someone was throwing corn on the cob out the window and it has good butter on it." then the other one says:" we saved u one." the guy shakes his head and says:" i don't like butter."


there was two ants living in a girls underwear. one day they decided to explore "the cave" so they each went there seperate ways. when they met back with eachother one was covered in brown stuff and the other in white stuff. the white covered one asked:" why r u covered in brown stuff?" the brown covered one replies:" i got stuck in this stinky brown stuff but managed to get out. why r u covered in white stuff?" the white covered one says:" well i was walkin along and it was all nice and soft pink and warm when all of a sudden this bald guy starts head butting me and spitting on me."


disgusting right? but the second one makes me laugh everytime!!!!

Answer 2

Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."
Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"
The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."

There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea.
When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on.
"What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host.
"A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants!"

A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your *****?"
The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!"
"Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet, then

There's a young couple in the cinema. The girl says, "I must have a piss, can I squeeze past you?"
"Why don't you squat down on the floor and do it" says the boyfriend. "You'll have to disturb all these people, besides its dark, no one will see you."
"OK" she says. She pulls her drawers down and squats on the floor. The bloke starts feeling horny at the thought of her down there, so he reaches down and makes a grab.
He feels something long and hard and says, "Urgh! Have you changed your sex?"
"No" she says "I've changed my mind... I'm having a **** instead."

Answer 3

My friend told me this;

There was a young man going to sea for the first time, he asked a fellow seaman what they did to curb thier sexual needs. He was told to visit old f*ck nose in the end cabin pay a shilling and he'd let him f*ck his nose as it was quite big, he thought this to be too disgusting and said he would never do that.

After a month at sea he is getting a little horny but thinks that the idea of the old man is too gross so he tried to ignore his needs. after a further 2 weeks he gave in and paid f*ck nose for the pleasure..... He f*cked his nose and became content, f*ck nose asked "do you have any STI's of any sort"? No replied the young sailor. Sniffing deeply old f*ck nose said that's all right then!!

Answer 4

Q. What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?
A. Getting fingered by Captain Hook.

Q. What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?
A. We'd eat ***** every Thanksgiving.

Q. What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?
A. A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.

Q. What's the difference between your paycheck and your ****?
A. You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck

Answer 5

have u heard about the one about the sailor??
There was 1 sailor who was on land leave after being at sea for 7 years...So he decided to go to a movie...that was way back in 1987 where there were no ciniplex that we have nowadays..
He was seated in front of an elderly couple and was bopping left and right Right and Left... and this made the gentleman very very angry..
The conversation followed.
Old Man..Young Man why are u bopping left and right and blocking our view??
Sailor: I am sorry ,Sir I have been at sea for the past 7 years and I cant help it..
Old Man:I have been making love to my wife for the past 18 years
and you dont see me walking to and fro like I am making Love Do You ???
Sailor: Speechless and quietly left the cinema...Hahahahahahaha

Answer 6

What's the difference between a Nun and a woman getting out of a bath?
One's got soul full of hope.

Answer 7

A guy comes home from the bar one night around 3 in the morning. His wife is sleeping and he is trying to sneak into bed. He's laying in bed for a few minutes and farts. His wife wakes up and asks, "What in the world was that?" He replies, "Goal 1-0 to me."
She thinks to herself "I'm gonna fix him." Then she lets one loose. He yells at her, "What was that?" She replies "Goal, that's 1 each"
Now he thinks, "I'm gonna fix her." He's lying there for about 10 minutes trying to work one up. He tries so hard he shits in bed. The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?"

He replied, "Half time, switch sides

Answer 8

Ok so I was eating a hotdog and this guy was like hey is that a hotdog, and I was like hey shutup and mind you own business. Then I went to the bathroom and had diarrhea. There. The end. Give me 10 points. I'm awesome. And sexy.

Answer 9

there was a young sis and an old sis and the old sis had to watch young sis so the old said well i will be up here on top bunk with my b/f and little said k. so olds b/f said say bologna if u want it harder say slommy if u want it softer. so she said bolognabolognabologna,salammy her little sis said stop makin samwitches ur getting mayonase on me

Answer 10

Did you know you can get AIDS from a toilet seat?
By sitting down before the last guy gets up.