Girl Problem?

Question

I just dated this incredible girl and we had nothing but an awesome time together. She used to date this guy (who was also her first boyfriend) who was controlling and verbally abusive. They broke up about 3-4 times over. Her friends and parents hate him. She would tell me how she hated the things he did and how she couldn't be his friend. Now we've broken up and they're friends, however she isn't dating him nor really hanging out with him. She's basically shut me out of her life, although she really wanted to be friends and still hang out. I still get the feeling she really misses me (she has to!) but we haven't talked in almost 2 weeks (except brief text message). She even blocked me on AIM (wtf?) yet Im on her top 8 on MySpace (it's been long enough to change it).

This really isn't fun, and Im confused too. Is there anything I can do? (aside from moving on, which I know is important) Something that will bring her back?

Answer 1

Remember I am an outsider. I don't really know what went on, but if I were a gambling man I would say the person who was emotionally abusive was your now ex girlfriend. Forget her and go and meet someone new. You really do deserve better than what she gave you, because I think she was just using you to get him back in her life.

Answer 2

Why did you break up? Honestly think about that question. Then think about what you can do, NOT what she needs to do to improve but what YOU can do to make things different. Once you've made a commitment to yourself to do whatever is necessary to get her back and keep her. Now you give her the WOW. It may really hurts if she doesn't come back may even be embarrassing; but if she is what you really want you have to take that chance. You have to dig deep for the WOW. It has to be based on what you know about her, experiences you shared. A very outward expression of your feelings. If she a romantic - roses and notes where you know she would find them (door step, wind shield, work, mail box), if she's silly stuffed animals or balloons... Something that shows your effort and accurately expresses your feeling. A candle light dinner, a picnic, rent all her favorite movies. Come from the heart and take time to deliberate over your next move it can't be 1/2 done.

Answer 3

Stop analyzing what she is doing and not doing, and what you think this and that means and looking for hidden messages and meaning in things. Basically if a girl wants to be with you, and she knows that you want to be with her, you guys would be together. Who she is dating and not dating is irrelevant and really none of your business. Her x and why they broke up and how verbally abuse or controlling he was and that her parents didn't like him? What does that have to do with you and her? Stop doing this to yourself. Your fishing for reasons why you would be soooo good for her. Which means nothing unless she doesn't realize it also, and isn't attracted to you. She sounds like she knows where you stand, you've done all you can. Hounding her to go out, and let you into her life is only going to drive more of a splinter between you and her. The other guy may have been verbally abusive and controlling, but by continuing to contact her when she obviously isn't interested, your going to come off as needy and pathetic. I can guarantee you that she is thinking "if this guy (you) are this needy and controlling when your not even dating, how much worse would he be if we were together?" BACK WAY WAY OFF...that's the only shot you have at her coming around.

Answer 4

once again, talking 2 her won't always work. ppl think that it's the 'key to a good friendship' but it's not always true. u don't necessarily have to move on, unless u really think u should, trust me this guy who likes me(really loves me, it's scary) yeah, well, i don't think he knows what 'moving on' is. do whatever u think u should. i think she wants 2 be ur friend, yet again she doesn't, why i don't know. tlak 2 her, see what happens, either that, just wait, maybe she isn't ready to talk, or she's just depressed, busy, or who-knows-what-else. is she shutting everyone else out 2, or is it just you? think about what everyone here is telling you, and try anything, and everything. if she likes u(as a friend or more, it doesn't matter) she will end up talking 2 u under her own free will, eventually.

Answer 5

Have you tried calling her, or does she ignore your calls? You need to actually TALK to her. Face to face. No texting, emailing, IMing....none of that. If you care as much as you say you do, you need to tell her this. And the best way to show you care is to her face. I don't know the details, but I believe that in any relationship, talking solves more problems than ever imagined. It is amazing at what verbal communication can do...you assume the other person knows things and they don't. Good luck :)

Answer 6

Are you sure she isn't seeing him or someone else? It sounds as if she is possibly with someone and don't want them to find out about you and her still being friends. On the other hand, she may actually have said she wanted to be friends to let you down easily and now that you are gone, she is purposely avoiding you in hopes that one day you'll leave her alone.

Answer 7

Move on...it sounds like she doesn't really know what she wants or who...cherish the memories, learn the lessons, and don't waste time pondering or pining over something that has run its course...

This life is too short to spend too much time getting over someone...get back into life...

Answer 8

Well Jon, it sounds like your girl has serious issues she needs to work out on her own. Maybe she just needs some time to be single, moving from one relationship to another can be difficult for anyone. Try making her jealous by dating another girl. That may be what she's doing to you.

Answer 9

Move on. Don't play her games. Delete her off your myspace and see how long it takes her to realize that youre gone off her top 8.

Answer 10

Don't pressure her,let her be she knows your number if she wants to get in contact with you.Sounds like to me she's confused,really confused.Some girls are not use to men being kind to them becuz they are use to the one's that treat them like garbage,so when they meet one that's really sincere they don't know how to take it you know?.It's kinda like this is to good to be true.So if you want you can wait,but I would'nt although I can tell you really like her but you can't force anyone to love you back.Remember that.