friend, but I'm not sure she knew it. I'm 28 now with a family and sometimes I feel like calling her, polishing her nails, or telling her about my latest sex toy.I didn't get to spend my adult years with her really because I was in the military. I was hard on her at time because I thought she could do better with the life she was given. I never really accepted her for who she was, but who I wanted her to be, who I thought she should have been. I don't really have a question to ask, just tell me you thought if there are any. Thanks in advance.
2006-07-21 13:46:16 · 29 answers · asked by Lovely Darky 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's sad, isn't it, when someone dies and you're left forever with things unsaid.
Write her a long letter telling her all the things you love about her, how you are the person you are because of her, how your life turned out. Keep the letter and read it aloud now and then.
Go out and do some good deeds for other people and keep in your mind you are doing this as a good person and in loving memory of your mother.
2006-07-21 13:52:03 · answer #1 · answered by Meira 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hi Slim!
Well,my passed away when I was 14 years old,and now that I'm a mom,and grandma,I still think about my mom on holidays,her birthday,and especially mother's day. My mother was very protective of me,because I was the only girl. As I grew a little older,I realized,that she was more protective,then nurturing. She was kind of nervous,when I started puberty,and handed that talk over to my grandmother. There is nothing wrong with felling the way you do. I use to write letters to my mom,when I was in my teens,and hoping that she would come to me,in a dream,to answer me. When you said you did'nt accept her,I don't know what you meant,but I'm having a pretty good idea. We as humans will get caught up in situations,that we can't control,and it's the act of God,or Satan that controls these things. We have to recognize the differences,in who is controling us at the particular moment. Although you can't tell your mom your sorry for felling the way you did,you can ask God to forgive you,for felling the way you did towards her. He will be merciful,and your mom will know. Now that you have a family,and you've experienced right from wrong,then you must trust in our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,to guide you into keeping a stong mind,body,and soul. (Don't worry!) Your going to be ok! (smile!)
2006-07-21 14:16:05 · answer #2 · answered by Squeakers 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not only are you feeling some guilt, you are still mourning her. These feelings are normal. First of all, forgive yourself for the things you felt you did wrong. The past is over and you can't change that. If you believe in God, pray for Him to help you deal with these feelings. Another thing you can do is write her a letter and tell her all of the things you want her to know. You may even need to write several letters over time. You can take them to her grave site if she has one and read them, or put them in a box, or just throw them out. A lot of people find comfort in writing their thoughts and feelings. If you are married or have a boyfriend or even just a close friend, paint their toenails. If it's a male you're doing this to, it can be therapeutic and funny at the same time.
2006-07-21 13:54:28 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your loss
when u say that u gave her a hard time because u thought she could do better, im sure she saw that as only out of love and concern for her well being.
Why didnt u accept her? what was it that u thought she should have been.
There r people that often talk to their loved ones that have passed away and it does give them some relief, and in some strange way they feel they reply one way or another, whether its a sudden smell or sound that relates to the one lost.
Dont dwell on the past, cut yourself some slack, and try to heal.
2006-07-21 13:56:52 · answer #4 · answered by jordancassandra 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey I know how you feel, I lost my father about the same length of time. I never got a chance to say thank you to him. I felt when I was growing up that he was mean and harsh sometimes. I realize now that he was only doing and acting the only way he knew how. He lost his mom and pops when he was little, he never finished school and he was raised by his sisters. He was a hard worker and did what he needed to do to put food on the table and shelter over our heads. He used to walk to work before he got a car even when it was cold outside he walked to and from work. I see now what determination can do, I guess he lived up to what he thought his potential was. He passed a little before I reached my 20 year mark in the Air Force. I wanted him to see me reach Master Sergent before he passed away so he could say I am proud of you. Now when I finally do reach that goal I will have to hear that from someone other then him.
To you I say you mom lived the way she felt she did the most good and for some ole school mom and dads that is all they needed to feel their job as parents were fulfilled
2006-07-21 14:19:42 · answer #5 · answered by vinny954u 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mom must've been very young (40s-early 50s) when she passed. Too soon, imho. And from your question, it seems you feel a bit guilty about some issues. It's hard to lose your mom (mine passed this past Feb.), but time does eventually heal. However, you might want to contact your local hospice. I'm not a shrink, just an RN, but you might could benefit from some grief counseling. Hospice usually offers it for free.
2006-07-21 13:54:49 · answer #6 · answered by warriorwoman 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to her...
My ex died of alcohol and drug abuse when our son was 7 -- it's almost 8 years ago, but I still talk to him because there are still so many feelings I have.
My son used to write letters to his dad, then we'd go to the beach and he'd put it in the ocean for the waves to take it out to his dad, because he loved the ocean.
If you believe in an afterlife, then you believe she can hear you; if you don't, at least it feels good to hear the words come out of your mouth and to get it off your chest.
Learn from your mistakes and do what you can to ensure that you do not have any unfinished business with others in your life. Your mother probably understood your position, and I'm sure she is proud of you.
2006-07-21 13:52:31 · answer #7 · answered by HearKat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It took me 13 years to get where you are right now, so don't be so hard on yourself. Go to her grave and talk to her, or just talk out loud to her. Tell her all the things you wish you had, before she passed away. Like I said, it took me 13 years, but the last two Mother's days have been great for me. I forgave her, and she forgave me. Hardly a day goes by that I don't talk to Mama now. Mine was my best friend too, so I can identify with you. Good Luck....and don't wait any longer, do it tonight!
2006-07-21 14:14:14 · answer #8 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't feel sorry for you, you were lucky enough to have your mother for a while i never had mine but i had a grandma who loved me very much but she died when i was 7. my mother is still alive but we are two strangers and she still has issues with my dad. But i have a question for you, If you knew then what you know now would you have done things different and if the answer is yes then your mother knows about everything you just told me. And she knows that you love her very much=)
2006-07-21 13:54:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well a lot of things come to mind after reading your question. first of all i don't think you should feel bad. true, you might miss her and now realize what you missed in the past but always keep in mind that after she passed away-in her transitional moments she understood exactly what you were trying to do. when you are alone all by yourself at home or wherever as long as you are all alone.... talk to her, talk to her out loud... she can and does hear you. from where she is she can see and hear you, but can not have any interaction with you. try it... hopefully you will see what I'm trying to say. take care.
2006-07-21 13:57:33 · answer #10 · answered by t00wicked 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋