It was in the 1800's. There was a wooden warship out on the ocean. The guy up in the crow's nest yelled down to the captain, "One enemy ship on the horizon!" The captain yelled to the first mate, "Bring me... my red shirt." So the first mate did, and the battle started. Not a single sailor from their ship was lost. After a while the first mate asked the captain, "Why did you want me to bring you your red shirt?" The captain said, "That way, if I'm wounded, the will blend in and my crew won't notice and will keep fighting." The next day, the guy up in the crow's nest yells down to the captain, "Twenty enemy ships on the horizon!" The captain yelled to the first mate, "Bring me... my brown pants."
2006-07-21 13:20:49 · 25 answers · asked by Brian.E 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
#2: A guy went to the doctor. The doctor said, "I have bad and worse news." The guy said, "OK, what's the bad news?" The doctor said, "You have 24 hours to live." The guy says, "Well, what's the worst news?" The doctor says, "I forgot to call you yesterday."
2006-07-21 13:21:42 · update #1
There was a guy who mom was really really sick. He brought her to the hospital. The doctors spent 72 hours straight diagnosing the problem. The guy waited in the hallway the whole time. Finally the doctor came out, and said,"OK, we have good and bad news. The guy says, "What's the bad news?" The doctor says, "Your grandmais OK, but she can't move at all. You will have to feed her and bathe her. She has a condition which makes all of her feces smell 10 times stronger. She also cannot control her pooping and . You will have to pay for diapers, which will cost a lot since she is so big. You will also have to change her diapers. You're going to have to massage her feet to keep them from having to be amputated, even though she has a very contagious bacteria on her feet which we do not have a cure for." The guy is really depressed, as he doesn't have a high income. He says, "Well, what is the good news?" The doctor says, "Ahhh, I'm just kidding. She's !
2006-07-21 13:22:46 · update #2
On the first one, the part when the captain is explaining about the red shirt, it should read "the will blend in.
2006-07-21 13:23:46 · update #3
cool
2006-07-21 13:21:29 · answer #1 · answered by Diamond Freak :) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those jokes are hilarious. I love them. Did you make them up? Have you thought about becoming a comedian. Honestly, I liked the first one better than the 2nd one. The third one was so suspense. I was like WoW, it sucks to be that guy and then at the end it was so hysterical and I was laughing my head off!!
2006-07-21 20:29:12 · answer #2 · answered by hottiewholovesguitars 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL!! 8.6 of 10 for the first one. I've heard the 2nd one before, but that always gets a 9 of 10! 3rd one gets a 8.7 of 10.
2006-07-21 20:22:01 · answer #3 · answered by windrunner023 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All r funny, How abt this one:
Dirty Johnny and his friends were enrolled in sex education. During the lecture, the teacher kept referring to a "penis". It was "penis" this and "penis" that. The class behaved as if it understood. Immediately following class, all the students gathered around Dirty Johnny. "Johnny, what's a penis?" Nobody had a clue. Dirty Johnny said he would ask his Dad when he got home. When Dirty Johnny got home, his Dad was there. "Dad, what's a 'penis'?" His father unzips his pants, shows Johnny his dick and says, "This is a perfect penis." Johnny replied, "Thanks, Dad. I'll tell my friends tomorrow in school." The next day, all the students gathered around. "What did your Dad say, Dirty Johnny?" Johnny promptly unzips his pants and shows all his classmates his dick. "This is a penis. And if it were two inches shorter, it would be the perfect penis!"
2006-07-21 21:01:27 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Gilmore♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got those off one of the Blue Collar Comedy Tours, didn't you...I love 'em all, especially the first one, so they all get 10 outta 10.
2006-07-22 17:00:20 · answer #5 · answered by RuneWitchSakura1988 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1-10? I give them a 4.
2006-07-21 21:11:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both great jokes Ive heard them before but they are still funny,thanks for the laugh..
2006-07-21 20:24:16 · answer #7 · answered by Yakuza 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The second one made me laugh out loud. The first was too lengthy.
2006-07-21 20:22:55 · answer #8 · answered by callie_grl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the joke about the guy who went to the doctor i've heard before in the batman.
2006-07-21 21:50:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The 1st & 2nd made me crack up!! :)
The last one I can really live without.
2006-07-21 20:30:53 · answer #10 · answered by Kitten2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pretty good the first one was the best
2006-07-21 20:23:13 · answer #11 · answered by billabong22_2005 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋