Me & my fiance have been together for almost 3 years...living together for the last 2 years and engaged for the last year. He has two boys 18 & 20 yrs old and I have a 9 yr old girl. At one point both of his boys had moved out on their own...but almost 4 wks ago the oldest moved back home. I am pulling my hair out. He stays out all night, sleeps all day, and MAYBE looks for a J-O-B once per week. He has put in a few applications at a few places and his sorry excuse for not calling and following up on the applications is that he "doesn't know the phone numbers". Hello...have we not heard of a phone book/internet. I love my fiance to death. Things were great before his boy moved back home. I can not handle this laziness much longer. I am ready to pull my hair out...any ideas ????? He sleeps all day, eats all of our food, and runs up our electric bill..that's about the most productive thing he has done in the last month.
2006-07-21 13:18:37 · 7 answers · asked by sierrasmom97 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Let me just add that my fiance does agree with me on this subject and he does get on his son and "try" to make him more responsible, but it seems that he is only motivated to make his son more lazy when I ***** about him. Just today I was complaining so he told his son that starting next week he is to be out looking for a job no less than 3 days per week. It's not like my fiance doesn't see the problem..he does, but when he bitches at his son it goes in one ear and out the other.
2006-07-21 13:28:31 · update #1
I know I am not his biological mother, but I feel like as long as he is living under my roof and I am supporting him, then I have the right to expect certain things from him without having to go through my fiance.
2006-07-21 13:31:50 · update #2
No you are not his mother , but it is your house. You have a right to expect any adult living there to contribute. Set an amount for rent, food, and utilities. He has to pay that amount every month or he will be evicted at the end of the month. Treat him like a bad tenant. If he doesn't pay, pack all his things in trash bags, type up an eviction notice and put it out on the front porch. Sometimes kids this age need a little motivation, like being homeless!
2006-07-21 13:47:45 · answer #1 · answered by LittleMermaid 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Take it easy! You're not his mother and he is too old for you to be parentng him. Just be cool about it and without attacking him you should talk to him about it. Hopefully your fiance supports your feelings on this issue and will back you up. Who hasn't had to move back in with the parents at least once until they get back on their feet? He's only 20 so in many ways he's still just a boy and needs some guidance. Give him a time frame to get a job and tell him you expect him to pay you some rent once he does, but be reasonable. Believe me, he doesn't want to live there forever.
2006-07-21 13:25:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a tough one because you don't want to come between your fiance and his son . . . HOWEVER, he is 20 and is now a freeloader . . . you have every right to speak your mind here . . . if your fiance doesn't like it, I don't think your marriage will last . . . you have a right to say what goes on . . . if he were a minor, you would have to deal with it but he isn't . . . get in his face and tell him . . IT IS MY WAY, OR THE HIGHWAY!!!!!! he can choose but more than likely he won't go down without a fight . . . good luck
2006-07-21 13:24:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok u are not his birth mother but you soon be his step mother when u and his father get married , so i would tell him look u are 20 yrs old , u live here eat the food run up the bills , then u need to find a job or get your butt out and find u a anothe place to stay
2006-07-21 13:55:54 · answer #4 · answered by angel h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely i comprehend i'm youthful yet i changed into 14 even as my new step mom got here into the image I also did not precisely like it. i do not learn about her yet I loved her taking me places and only doing stuff with me paying for , getting our nails done. She is somewhat youthful so possibly you could only purchase her a positive present and perchance carry out somewhat positive stuff mutually with her. good success!
2016-10-15 01:38:58 · answer #5 · answered by weatherford 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your soon to be husband's problem. It's his kid. You tell him to handle it and then you be quiet and live with how he handles it, or you move out and walk away. Anything you do or say to his childwill come between you and your fiancee.
2006-07-21 13:25:39 · answer #6 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kick his lazy butt out...if your fiance don't agree maybe you shouldn't be with the dude
2006-07-21 13:22:59 · answer #7 · answered by fadded 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋