Ok.. so it looks like I'm pregnant.. but Im not thrilled. I have daughter who is almost 3. There are times that I doubt my abilities to care for her. I just dont know what to do sometimes when she has temper tantrums and things like that... I love her, feed her etc... but there are times when she gets so on my nerves .. now Im pregnant again ( apparetnly ) and seriously doubting myself.
What should I do here?
2006-07-21 13:11:21 · 6 answers · asked by timberleigh 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I went through 8 years of fertility treatments with no success
so I say count your blessings. Try to make time for yourself by getting your 3 year old daughter into preschool part time or a playgroup. You could even trade off babysitting duties with friends. Toddlers need to be exposed to social situations to learn to interact with others.
After the birth of your baby, think long and hard about whether 2 children is enough, or if you want more children, so you can make an informed decision.
Please don't doubt yourself as a mom, 3 year olds throw tantrums, just stand firm, keep your cool and redirect her behavior as best you can.
Above all, take care of yourself!
2006-07-21 16:36:48 · answer #1 · answered by jenna1384b2002 2 · 10⤊ 1⤋
First of all, let me help you with disciplining with you daughter.
Try and use logical consequences whenever possible. Taking away a toy or privileges when your daughter misbehaves is not a logical consequence. Taking away a toy if she throws it or is destructive with it is logical. These are some other examples of logical consequences. If she makes a mess, she cleans it. If she breaks a toy, it goes in the trash. If she damages something in the home, money comes out of her piggy bank or she earns money doing things around the house to pay for the damages. Let the discipline fit the crime.
Another technique you can try when she is misbehaving is this. As soon as she misbehaves, get down to her level and say "I don't like when you (explain what and why)." Take her gently by the hand and put her in a spot in your home (bedroom, the couch.) Say "When you're ready to (listen, stop, behave) then you can come back with me." This is not a time out because you are not giving a time limit (you controlling her). She returns when she's ready to control herself. You may have to take her back to the spot a few times before she gets the message. Thank her when he behaves. This works great when she is having a temper tantrum. Keep it up!
Notice her when she is not misbehaving. Say things like "You worked on that for a long time! Look how high you can climb! You used so many colors on that picture!" These are intrinsic motivators rather than extrinsic rewards ("Good job," stickers, candy). These phrases are great confidence builders.
Set limits, follow through, and offer choices, not chances. You can say “Do you want to do that by yourself or do you want some help?” "No" should mean "No" the first time you say it. Say "Yes" as much as possible. Be patient and consistent.
She may get difficult once the baby arrives. Don't tell her about the baby until you are showing. When the baby arrives, have her help as much as possible. She can get the baby's diaper, clothing, pacifier. Tell her how lucky she is to have a sibling. Give her some quality one on one time when the baby is sleeping.
Your feelings will pass. Make sure you take a little time for yourself everyday. You have a precious gift. Take care of her. These years will pass so fast and you don't want to regret missing her during this age. Good luck!
2006-07-21 21:19:20 · answer #2 · answered by marnonyahoo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was just 18 when my son was born 20 when his sister was born. There are very trying times, my daughter is ADHD my son has speach and learning issues. You will get past this. Phases like temper tantrums don't last forever they do grow up and do more for themself. Now my kids are 8 and 10 we are having #3. It's normal to be scared and to have some doughts it will be okay.
2006-07-21 20:27:35 · answer #3 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hire someone to help you!!! Try and spend some time outside the house with your 3 year old now because when the new baby gets here you will have no time for her.
2006-07-21 20:15:10 · answer #4 · answered by thunder2sys 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will be ok.Try to go for walks or just shopings so you are out of the house.I have a second 10 month old and now they play together and do stuff so they become even more independent and you will have little bit of time for your self you will see that it won't be that bad just go with the flow
2006-07-21 20:20:48 · answer #5 · answered by m41 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what women are supposed to do and care for your children. it is normal to have these doubts since you do suffer with stress alot it seems that is what makes you aggrivated so much with your tot. just take it how it is and you will love it just as much as you love your toddler..good luck
2006-07-21 20:17:58 · answer #6 · answered by tweedle dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋