not afraid to admit motherhood is hard work....?

Question

by far the best thing i've done is become a mother,but i believe it is the hardest job in the world,with no thanks,no breaks,no holiday.
am i wrong to feel so low at times?

your answers are making me cry,it's so good to know i'm not alone.
i just want some me time once in a while, is that too much to ask?

Answer 1

No-motherhood can be real hard at times -although the world of men seem to think we sit on our butts all day!
My first son was born with a rare heart defect and needed open heart surgery,his recovered but been a constant worry to me-his also mildly autistic and is now having problems with his legs-his being checked for arthritis.His now almost 6 years old.

I also have a completely healthy son who is 2 and a half years old and a little dynamo!

I gave up work 3 years ago and been a stay at home mum -its very hard with the worry,the housework,cooking(I cook everything from scratch!) and trying to be a wife!
I only go out about twice a year for a night out and don't have any close female friends.

I have devoted my life my kids-we do not know if our oldest will ever be able to leave home and live independently or if he will stay at home with us forever.

Its not wrong to feel low,I think most of us do,but if your kids are happy and healthy then count your blessings-they will not be kids forever and one day you will get a life back for your self again!

Answer 2

NO! It's one of the things no-one wants to admit, and no-one wants to hear in case they are forced into admitting it too. Your kids will thank you, as they get older, though. I don't think it's the hardest job in the world, simply because there's a point to it, and there are great rewards. The hardest job would be something which offered neither - plenty exist. Agreed that there is no time off etc, but then again your kids aren't small and totally dependent for ever. They will develop and move away, and you will get your life back - all the better for having devoted yourself to raising your kids well, because they and their children will be your consolation and joy in old age, God willing. Not wrong to feel low - as a mother you're in a position where you never put yourself first, and ignore lots of your own needs to satisfy those of your dependants. If you have no partner or your partner is rubbish, then it can feel very much like you're giving all the time and not taking anything for yourself. On the other hand, at least you can feel bloody smug that you're doing a cracking job of it - if you weren't, you wouldn't be feeling like this (really)!!! Good luck :)

Answer 3

yes you are right being a mum is hard work, i hate it when people say "oh im so tired i have been at work at all day!" being a mum id more then a full time job, you are working 24 hours a day 7 days a week every day of the year. But being a mum is also the most rewarding job in the world. Good luck i am sure you are doing a great job in bringing up your children, you work hard and yes you deserve a break. I am sure you will get the break you need 1 day.

Answer 4

Absolutely not! You are right on sister! Motherhood is the toughest job in the world. You are on demand 24-7 and you don't get paid a cent, let alone overtime! Not to mention it is more emotional than any job you could ever imagine. These little creatures are our flesh and blood. Everything is a big deal in the eyes of a mother. We need to stand together as moms and support each other. The future of our world is on our shoulders. It's the most important job ever!

Answer 5

I have a 9 month old daughter and being a mum is sooooo hard sometimes. I am a stay at home mum and my job is to look after our child, I also have to do everything else and get no appreciation from my bf I don't even get paid! But all that aside I wouldn't change anything for the world. I'd rather be with my baby watching her grow up rather than putting her in nursery letting some stranger watch her achieve something new.

Answer 6

You are not alone, honey. We all have those moments, and it's not easy being a mom. It's very stressful, and YES you deserve every second of solitude you can find. I relieve stress by taking a warm bath at night after the kids bedtime. It's quiet in there, and very relaxing. Alone time is very important for you. You are still human after all. Sometimes, hire a babysitter for an afternoon or evening so you can do "you" things. And there's no need to feel any sort of guilt about doing so. Your child/ren will be fine, and you can have a little time for yourself.

Answer 7

Never look back! Are your children tiny . School age? You got friends the same or are you just feeling low with everything, does your partner not help. What you put into your childrens lives unless you have major fallouts in the teenage years you will reap the rewards later on. My partner left me 8 years ago. My children never complained that we had no money we spent every day on the beach or in the park. Yesterday i put on a tape and it was them and all their freinds up the street doing karaoke from about 6 year back. No your not wrong to feel low yet just remember what youve got thats so special and however hard work. PLEASE ENJOY.

Answer 8

I have those low times often. The forgotten "thank yous", the whining or complaining upon requesting help around the house. The lack of respect or appreciation for a job well done. And taking for granted of everything done for them. It honestly sucks to be a mom sometimes, but I don't think anyone is willing to say that out loud.

Answer 9

Yes, it is 24/7... for the rest of your life. Even when they are grown, your children are on your mind most of the time. What you have to do is learn to enjoy the good times with them and realize that those times ARE your thanks, breaks and holidays.

Teach your children to say thank you! Once they have acquired that habit, you will find that you DO get thanked a LOT.

Find a friend or relative who can share the job with you... lots of times, childless couples or teenagers enjoy spending time with parents of small children. Do it while they are small, and your children will become attached to this substitute caregiver, and you will find breaks come to you without having to even ask.

Holidays are always more special with children involved. Sure, you have to do a lot of the work, but there again, you will gradually teach them to help you. When they want to help, let them do small portions of the tasks until they learn to do more. Eventually, they will step in and do some of that work for you, without you even having to ask.

And finally.... remember that with anything in life, you get OUT of something what you put INTO it. The more you invest yourself in the job, the more HEART you put into it.... the better off you and your children will be. Nothing shows that fact of life more than motherhood.

You are God's gift to your children, and they are God's gift to you.

Answer 10

You are completely normal. You do need time to yourself. They way I managed this was to find a leisure centre with a wonderful creche. I let the children go in the creche and I go to the gym or swim, or occasionally have just been to the cafe. It may also help you to find some other parents of children the same age. Then you can compare notes and have some grown up conversation while the children play.

Good luck.