Ive known a guy for 18 yrs!Ive liked him forever,then he split with his girl of 3yrs and she had a 10 wk old baby to him!He said he wanted to be with me and after bout a month said he loved me!His ex didnt like us being together so made it hard for him to see the baby!We decided to chill it for a while so he could see the baby then he blanked me fo 2wks and woldnt even acknowledge the fact that I live a few doors down from him!Now Ive found out hes back with her and didnt even have the guts to tell me!Was I wrong to go with him in the 1st place? Ive never done anything to hurt him so why couldnt he just be honest with me?
2006-07-21 11:59:55 · 10 answers · asked by jemma b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Maybe he couldn't be honest because he loves you and it'd hurt for him to tell you because it'd hurt you too. He could be doing it so he can see his child! I mean give the guy credit he sees his kid and he WANTS to see his kid! More than some guys do,I don't believe her loves her, because a guy would do anything to see his child if he's that kind of guy. Either that or he never loved you at all and only you deep down know if it's true or not.
He blanked you probably because he couldn't admit to the fact that he was doing you wrong so he did what guys do, bury their head in the sand and ignore the dilemma in hand. Yes, its wrong and you don't deserve it but I suspect it's not always easy in those sutuationsI think that you knowing him so long you need to talk to him on a friendly basis and talk to him about his gf...he was with her 3 years maybe he missed the security and thought about it. If he was with you, nothing was secure because in 2 years time he could have to drop you if she stopped access, maybe it was easier this way? Everything seems it was rushed maybe he started getting in too deep and needed to pull away for a bit and she was there!? If he's loved her once and she's the mother of his baby there's space for it to happen again.
I don't think you were wrong to go out with him but he may have rushed into it too quickly instead of giving it time, in the process he hurt you, maybe he had feelings and realised if you had a relationship on the rebound it wouldn't last. You can't help who you love and you can't fool your heart either.
You deffinately need to talk, if you've known him 18 years you must be able to talk, do it privately somewhere where she wont find out? And don't force him into anything and push anything on him. It could all come down to the case of his child, and if it is because of that you can't blame him for it!
I hope you do find out why and for your friendship (because you've known him so long) don't get hurt and have to foget him. I hope it can be resolved soon though. For the sake of his child, and your happiness.
2006-07-21 14:37:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never have a relationship with a guy who has someone else and a baby ...they are a family ...when a new baby comes along it can stress the relationship badly and then the man can stray but not always for long and obviously hurts people as he does so. this guy has family ties he will always have a son/daughter ...he's gone back to her and you have to accept that ...they had a baby together. you have had an experience in life which you have to try and put behind you ...it isn't your fault or anything you have done ...he had 2 ladies and a baby he is in the wrong. forget him and find someone with no ties who you can have as your own... who will care only for you
2006-07-21 12:34:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well honey from my experience what I've learned is that honesty is something that does not come easily for a lot of people; men especially........So what happens is that for most people it's just easier for them to lie than to face the pain of reality, and tell the truth.............It is easier for people who know in their hearts that what they're doing is wrong to just do it without having to give explanation than it is to sit down and discuss why and how they're doing what they're doing, and usually those people are called "COWARDS". They tend to come in all sizes shapes and colors and can either be male or female. I suggest that you not hold your breath waiting for an explanation from this joker as I am sure that he is not going to have one anytime soon. Don't feel too bad because his loss is definitely your gain..........also, what his baby's mama is getting is absolutely nothing; let her have him; from the sound of it they deserve each other. It will hurt a little but know that what he's done to you with her; he'll eventually leave her again, and she will feel exactly what you are feeling. Time does heal all wounds...enjoy what's left of your summer do some girly things with your friends, pamper yourself, and when you look into the mirror know that you're just a queen going through the process of being crowned. Who knows where your king is....it certainly wasn't mr. loser!!!...
2006-07-21 12:22:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok Child, let me tell you, It's not your fault. Men and Women do the same thing. Your heart is filled with love, while his is filled with curiousity of the adventure. He is too busy trying to be a player. I know because I had the same problem. You want to be able to give your heart to someone and have the love recipricated but its not. Don't worry and don't chase him, you will find someone who treats you better and makes you feel better too. I know times might be lonely,and your days and nights might be long and frustrating, but trust me it will be worth it. I promise. I met my soul not to long ago and the sight of face makes my day.
You should know that love is alive so you need to nurture it and take care of it. If you dont it will die and you will feel bitter and be mad at yourself.So i am telling you so that you can save your life.
Love is the essence of life, without it what are you? Take your losses and move on dont linger. He is trapped now but you still have the opportunity to start a wonderful relationship with someone.
If you need reasoning put yourself in the other lady's shoes
2006-07-21 12:43:26 · answer #4 · answered by IV P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen Jemma, you ain't done shite wrong, all you done was to fall for an a hole who has baggage that he ain;'t got the balls to put her in her place due to the fact that they have a wee baby together.
She may use him for the sake of the baby but in the long run he will regret this. We all have a life and we can live it without hurting others....
If he is back with his ex, never mind the fact that he is back with her due to the wee baby just think you self lucky that you ain't with a spinless male...
You go out and get what you are worth,,, will come to you one day babe...
PS wish you all the luck in the world babeXXX
2006-07-21 12:09:10 · answer #5 · answered by ooooh look @ me, lol 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it was wrong to expect anything from him as he was on the rebound and emotionaly not able to develop another relationship. as u have been a friend to him 4 many years u shud have none he would of been hurting. things shud of never happened and he cud'nt tell u the truth because he dint want to cause u pain. i hope u find happiness with sum1 good luck.
2006-07-21 12:16:27 · answer #6 · answered by sweetlips06 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know I don't know.. They always got something to hide. I don't see the point in Lying. I think it is best to tell the truth that way when you talk to someone you want to able to believe them instead of second guess them....
2006-07-21 12:36:28 · answer #7 · answered by babyshay926 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to be honest wiv u u deserve sum1 like me
2006-07-21 12:02:45 · answer #8 · answered by kammyno1manufan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has to be honest to himself first. He cannot seem to do that, so therefore, he cannot be honest to you. Forfet him and dont eat yourself up.
2006-07-21 12:04:03 · answer #9 · answered by jack 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HONESTY IS THE REFLECTION OF THE SOUL
2006-07-21 12:05:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋