As a spouse, what was your military experience like, the interesting or boring, the painful and the happy ?

Answer 1

Multi-pronged question. My husband is an active duty Marine with 3/3 out of Kaneohe Bay, HI, and is now in Iraq. The seperations can be horribly lonely, the worry, playing the role of a single parent, stress and tension. It can be interesting in the fact that we move every 3 years (not all branches relocate that often) and the kids have an opportunity to experience other cultures that most kids their ages never will. It's not a 9 to 5 job, it's a 24/7, 365 job and work comes first...always but he was a Marine when I married him, I didn't walk into this blind. This isn't a life for everyone that's for sure, it ain't for woosies. LOL If you're considering marrying someone who's active duty please talk to other spouses so you know what you're in for....there's little that's 'traditional' in this life.

Answer 2

Ahh, the last 8 years has been an interesting ride. My husband joined shortly after we were married.. didnt include me on the decision.. but it was the best decision he'd ever made. The military is definately different from civilian life. The military is one big happy family. We help each other, understand each other, love each other.. even thru the stupid BS, and take care of each other. Being an Army spouse has definately had its ups and downs, but its all been for the better.. like life, every experience makes you grow. Like one of the other spouses said, it is a great oppertunity for our children to see the world.. traveling is probably one of the most interesting things because you dont ever really know what to expect until its too late! But, the family of the military is always there to help pull ya thru!

Some of the bad experiences Ive dealt with was my husband missing the birth of our last child because he was fighting in the Iraq war. Once he was home from that, we moved to Germany and he was deployed 4 months later to Afghanistan. I ended up comeing back stateside to live and we've been geographically seperated since (almost 3 years now).

I love being an Army wife though! The DoD schools are awesome! cant complain too much about the pay, and overall it has been a wonderful experience!

Answer 3

Well, I'm both a military spouse and a military member. I know what it feels like to have your spouse leave for 5 months and then come back just to have you turn around and leave. It's no fun. It's not so bad when both of you are deployed at the same time though. Anyways, normally I can't stand military dependents (long story) but I know it must be hard for them to see their spouses leave and not understand why sometimes and not understand what they do etc...
There is interesting, boring, painful and happy in everyone's life regardless if there affiliated with the military or not, but I think those things get amplified by being in the military because our world is different than a civilians' for the most part.

Answer 4

I was a Military spouse for 22 years and I loved it. Before the war we traveled the world, Now where else can you fly free ( we took hops ) Also I met some of my closes friends in base housing and no matter that we all live far away from each other now we still keep in contact.
There are some bad things sometimes like your spouse having to go away for a month or so but the reunion is great!!! But all in all it was the best time of my life with my husband being in the service. and even though we are divorce I will always keep my card for free medical . Now that's great isn't it.

Answer 5

I've been an Army wife for 21 years and am now an Army mom. It has been a very good life for us. I supporty my husband and soon 100% and then in turn keep me 'in the loop'. It doesn't usually seem to work if the spouse doesn't support the soldier. You have to learn the military just like you would a civilian job.

Answer 6

My husband and I were married for four yrs before he joined the Army. He had a job that was going no where and couldn't afford tuition for college bc he was already paying for me to go. We had to live with his parents to make ends meet. He had been talking about wanting to join for several years and finally decided that as a family we would benefit from the military life. ( Housing, food allowance, Health insurance) not to mention, he can now go to college with the GI bill. Also we can have the baby that we've wanted for so long. I support him 100% but there are also down sides, like having days when your really depressed bc your husband has been gone for months. Worrying about him and knowing that no matter how bad it is for you, its so much harder for him.

Answer 7

Both...I'm remarried. I think it depends on your active duty member. It's all in what he makes it and how he makes it for the family. My first time it was miserable. I was married to a marine and he was married to the corps, not the family. This time it's not so bad. I miss him when I don't get to see him but he always lets my daughter and I know that we're first and that his job...is just a job. That's what makes such a huge difference. It makes the time away from one another not so bad.

PS Benefits are great!

Answer 8

considering that i have only seen my husband for a weekend since we have been married is heart breaking. we also have a new baby, he was hear for the birth, but was shipped out the day after, and our little boy is now 3 months old and hasnt seen his daddy yet. its very hard for me, taking care of our children by myself, not knowing whats going on across the ocean, worrying when the phone doesnt ring, or an e-mail isnt sent that something might be wrong. but i have to stay storng for our boys! right now is the hardest time, but they day his ship pulls into port, will be the best day of my life!!!

Answer 9

I saw my wife twice in my 18 months military drafted service (French), and she was not that great of a person. I understand the lack of many things you go thru, But he does too. The problem is that he is busy doing his job, And trust me it is tuff. Just love him, masturbate a lot, and be ready for his return.....I got divorced of this one by the way.

Answer 10

I was a military wife for almost seven years, and I loved being one. I was also active duty when we got married and spent five years of our marraige being a reservist before we split. So I have seen it from all sides. Your service member has to be able to handle the military, and he has to remember that just because you don't wear the uniform, you are in the military, too. You also need to remember that in order to really make his career take off and still have a happy marraige. He needs to make sure he takes care of you, you can't get upset when he doesn't come home til late for six weeks straight, he needs to take care of his soldiers on his own time as well as duty time to be a good leader, and to really support him, in my experience, you need to be right by his side. In case I am losing you...

When my husband got to new duty a station, he would bring his soldiers to our home to meet me, they would be warned that I was prior service, I would give them the threats of doing things the right way, not embarassing my husband, anyone with a DUI would be running from ME, not him, because all they have to do is call and *I* will pick them up if he can't, they always knew that if they ever needed anything, they could call us and BOTH of us would do our best to take care of them. In return, they took care of us. When they deployed, it was the first time for me and my son turned 11 weeks old that day. His entire team hugged me, told me not to worry, they would take care of him for me. When they came back, they helped us buy some things for the house we needed, and didn't tell me they did it, they just did it for me. When me and my husband split, they still took care of me, they babysat for me when I needed a sitter during drill weekend when my ex had to go out of town, they got out of the army and knew that they could stay with him or me until they went home, they helped me feel safe when my children were around their new stepmom and make sure she didn't overstep her bounds until I adjusted. His soldiers were my soldiers, even if I would never give them a lawful order. And they always treated me like I was one of them and took care of me.