? for parents?

Question

there are many questions, "what would you do if you kid told you they were gay?" well, my question is... what would you do if your kid told you they believed (religiously or non) completely opposite of how you believed and raised them?

Answer 1

Interesting question:

First off let me preface this answer by telling you I'm a Pagan and my wife is a Christian. So our house is all over the board.

We're trying to raise our children to have an open mind to religion. We share what we believe but the bottom line is that they're going to have to find what rings true to them.

That being said. If they choose not to believe in Deity, I'm good with that. Like I said, it's going to be their choice.

If they went down the Church of Satan (Anton Levy) path, basically worshipping self, I'd be saddened. I've never met any of that sort of Satanist who were really happy. But I can understand why some people are drawn to it.

If they went down the Gothic Satanist path I'd encourage them to get some psychological counseling. People who are drawn to this path tend to be very angry and also feel powerless. If either of my children choose this path when they're still living at home then we're all going to get family counseling. It would be a definite sign that something is seriously wrong with our home life.

Answer 2

I am a relatively religious person. If my child told me she believed in a different religion, and she really sincerely believed it (and it wasn't just that she had a crush on some guy in that religion or something), I would tell her I want her to be a happy, good person, and if that religion was going to help her do that then more power to her. I would be sad to have her leave behind our traditions, but I think her happiness and values are more important.

However, if she told me that she believed the opposite of me in terms of those values, I'd have a really hard time. For example, I teach her strongly that all people are equal and have worth, and that inequality in all its forms is bad. If she became a white supremacist, I would not be able to support that. That would be an instance where supporting her belief would mean truly going against my own, and I couldn't do that (not to mention that white supremacists hate Jews, and I'm Jewish).

She'd still be my daughter, of course. But I would not be able to have conversations with her about this topic and I would not be able to keep my mouth shut if she was doing things I thought were hateful -- any more than I would if someone else sat at my dinner table and spouted hate.

Answer 3

You know, it depends so much on what it is they did believe. I have raised 2 sons, and 2 step-daughters, and have a grand-daughter I live near, so I have at least 6 ideas on religion just in that small group.
It also depends on how old you are. If you are 14 and want to join a cult, I would prevent you, if possible, anyway I could. If you are 21 and want to join a cult, I would pack you a lunch and tell you to call me collect when you wanted out.
My children were raised to be humanists/Unitarians, and pretty much have stayed near that idea, but they have their own ideas, too.
Next time, ask a really specific question. It might help get you a better answer.

Answer 4

We thankfully live in a country where freedom of choice reigns. I am in no way christian or religious. But if my child were to tell me any of these things, I would say thank you for learning the lessons I taught you when you were younger. RESPECT, TOLERANCE, LOVE, CHOICE. It is not for me or ANYONE ELSE, INCLUDING CHRISTIANS OR ANY OTHER RELIGION, to tell someone HOW to live their life.

I find it odd how people are so quick to judge others and tell them how wrong they are. If we do not learn the lessons of life soon then we will ALL be dead, including all the "religious" people.

I for one was raised in church. When I got to the age that I could put rational thought together I was out of their. To me it is not logical, but, that does not say it is not logical to another person different from myself.

When I tell most people that I am ok being an agnostic (leaning towards atheism) or that I am ok with people being gay, they look at me like I have lost my mind. I fail to understand this train of thought. A lot of people who claimed to be great christians in days of old were in fact gay.

It is for NO one else to choose how you live your life.

DO NOT EVER FORGET THAT!

Answer 5

I would love them, pray for them and let them have freedom of religion. They will respect me and trust my faith more if I am not harping on them to come back. Your child will go through the phase if it is one, with their love and respect for your faith, or grow into the adult that you want with your continued love and support. I would be open to hearing about their faith and their views. It could be that they are not far from yours. I would also keep in mind that
god has over 4,000 names, it is highly likely we are worshiping the same God, using different nicknames.
Just love them. They will turn out fine. They believe in a greater being than themselves. It is all one God, no matter what his name. That means that you got that right. Take a deep breath and pat yourself on the back. You did good.

Answer 6

As a parent I can tell you this...You can raise your child to be a certain way and you can hope you instill things in them like good values and morals and etc....You can try and protect them and teach them right from wrong, but there comes a time in their lives they have to decided which way they want to go...You can't blame yourself for their actions or their opions are their life styles because they have to live with those things. If my child told me they were gay, I would not hate my child, I would still love my child, I will be honest and say I would not agree with it ,but that again is a issue that have to deal with as an adult now. I still woud love my child. It's like this, My one child, if you tell her to go right she always goes left. I have told her many times, that I love her but I do not agree with her or what she does or whom she hangs with. You can love your child but you also have to let them know at the same time they are responsible for their actions in this world we live in. They have to understand about personel responsiblility, and trust me my daughter gets sick of hearing it, but she knows the deal. She knows if she gets herself into trouble or whatever she knows that she is responsible for that. As far a religion I hope that one day she will go to church but that is a personel journey for many people, I would just be happy if she said guess what mom I'm going to church. Kids go through this period of time when they are trying to find themselves and they don't realize in trying to find themselves how they hurt a parent. But, when they walk out the door and say I want to be a grown up now, will they have to deal with their decisions, We can only do the best we can with the time we have and put them in the lords hands.

Answer 7

I would talk to them and show them from Gods word the Bible and
if they were not old enough to know right from wrong I would stop
the people or literature until they were accountable and could choose
for their selves.
If they were accountable then their is only one thing I could do.
Pray,Pray,Pray and let my Lord and savior handle the problem
which I know he can do.He has already done it in my family.Praise
Jesus name he is real.
In Christ in Love,
TJ57

Answer 8

I would respect their right to believe as they do. I might ask them to explain the thought process but not challenge or cross examine them. I would make sure they knew they were still loved and accepted.

If it was a major major difference, I might request a non-convert agreement - I won't try to change you if you don't try to change me. I would work to still be able to discuss the subject without attacking, ridicule or insult.

Answer 9

As a parent, this would totally depend on the age of the child. I would suggest that our family beliefs and values are sacred as long as she was under our roof; once she matured and was out on her own, she could deal with her life as she wished. Simple, no?

Answer 10

it fairly is stressful to assert by all their faults, my mothers and fathers did an extremely good activity. They raised 4 outstanding and valuable little ones. we are all self sustaining, have good jobs and take care of others with appreciate and compassion. I do the ideal i will with my 2, in spite of the incontrovertible fact that on the age of seven i in my opinion can not confirm what sort of fellows they are going to be. i will in elementary terms desire that I truthfully have controlled to instill in them a similar values my mothers and fathers did which I carry to today. real now they are amazing little ones. they are outstanding, sort and strong. in spite of the incontrovertible fact that I nevertheless might desire to make it by the teenage years. it fairly is a question to in all probability answer in yet another two decades, as quickly as I truthfully have 2 youthful men who call me mom. Then i'm going to have the skill to tell you greater precise what sort of folk I raised and then possibly i'm going to have a greater perfect answer. in spite of the incontrovertible fact that on the 2nd, i will desire for no less than a similar, and if conceivable exceed what my mothers and fathers did.