We are 23 and 26 yrs old. We both have 3 yr old daughters. We have the same ambitions in life. He did something in 2003 that got him into trouble. His lawyer has been dragging it out for thrre yrs so that he could finish school. He finished and they took him 2 weeks ago. Things got a bit rocky right before he left, so we broke up. I write him and go see him. Our daughters still play together. Should I cut all connections? Hes a different person now from when he got in trouble in 03' but i dont know if I want to be assiciated with a felon. And I dont know if i can wait a whole year...365 days!
2006-07-21 10:47:34 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He is not my daughters father, nor I am I his daughters mother.
Drug charges.
He has been clean for 21/2 yrs.
This is something i didnt know about until 8 months ago.
The main concern is my daughters father is trying to win full custody, I am afriad if I someday marry this guy my ex-husband will bring this matter to the courts.
2006-07-21 18:10:19 · update #1
DO WHATEVER YOU FEEL IS RIGHT. GOOD LUCK!
^_^
2006-07-21 10:50:33 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should cut the relationship off. I know it isn't a simple thing to do given that you have 3 children together, but to be associated with a felon is not good for your kids. Without knowing all the facts of your situation, I cannot tell you what to do except to go with your instinct. Try to keep your feelings away from the decision at hand before you decide what to do. I wish you the best.
2006-07-21 17:53:29 · answer #2 · answered by Awesome Bill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can answer this question. You could take into consideration what he did....what effect this will have on the rest of his life.....will he be able to make a living for himself when he gets out. If the answers to these questions have some positive light to them you could look at his 365 days as being away at school or something. Also if you can shed some positive light on this and he could still make a life for himself the bottom line is how much do you love and believe in him.
2006-07-21 18:05:35 · answer #3 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what do you really feel in your heart? It is not easy to meet people and have to tell them your man is in jail, especially when for a felony. Has he really changed? Will being in jail change him back the way he was? Think about what you really want. Don't date anyone else until you are sure you don't want him no more. Real love is when you choose to love even when you don't want to, thus, you can have that with virtually anybody. It doesn't have to be him, but it can be. totally up to you
Also, think about the future and how difficult it will be if you stay with him and he can't find work, because of having a record. You may end up having to provide for the four of you. Think it through, if you can move on that may be best... up to you.
2006-07-21 17:53:27 · answer #4 · answered by IcePrincess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know what he did...but your very right in being worried about being involved with a felon.
Life will be really difficult when he gets out....his opportunities for employment are going to be limited and he is going to carry the stigma of the felony for the rest of his life.
Waiting shouldnt be a problem if you still love him.
But be honest with yourself and him...if someone comes around that you can be happy with...terminate the relationship before you take up with the other guy. Its the right thing to do!
2006-07-21 17:53:41 · answer #5 · answered by werk2much2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand you lived with him for 3 years after he committed the crime while his lawyer was dragging it out and that was OK. But now that he is paying the price for his crime you are worried about being associated with him. That to me does not make sense to me. I would consider what he did to go to jail in the first place. And a year is not that long to wait for someone you truly love to come home. My brother has been in Iraq for 18 months and my sister in law is patiently waiting.
2006-07-21 18:00:35 · answer #6 · answered by Kali_girl825 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love this young man, a WHOLE year should not matter. I think you are a very shallow and pretentious lady. His crime apparently was not one which was threatening to anyone's life because his sentence is so tiny. If you think he has changed, and it is for the better, you have to ask yourself, "Do I really love him, or do I love the idea of having a boyfriend?" Are you afraid of your friends opinions or are you strong enough to stand alone? If you can't handle this, get out. If you are strong, stand tall.
2006-07-21 17:54:21 · answer #7 · answered by thebushman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this actually happened to one of my friend too! her bf (actually husband) got locked up around october last yea and in the beginning she said she was gonna wait but i guess time passes by and she literally gave up i guess kuz now, she has a new bf! she still go see him and write him almost on adaily basis but still.. i think the best way for u is to wait and see whats up bkuz u never know whats gonna happen next, u might meet someone else or u might end up waiting bkuz ur love might be stronger than u know yourself. i say give it time bkuz thats the only way to tell whether u really love him! best wishes!!
2006-07-21 17:53:09 · answer #8 · answered by Jade 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first - if he behaves he will be out in 9 months. Second thats up to you. He will probably be a totally different person again when he gets out. Be single until then, play the field, and if you dont meet someone else - decide when he gets out.
2006-07-21 17:53:17 · answer #9 · answered by Mike S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look at the pros and cons.
Pros - u love him & visa versa. u got a child together (still not a good reason to wait.)
Cons - he will never b able to go outside of the u.s. (felons will never b able to get a passport). is it really his heart thats talkin to u or is it jail talk and thoughts (hopefully u know the difference).
2006-07-21 17:59:28 · answer #10 · answered by tapthisphatazz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was going to say wait till you said felony. that question is on every emplyment application so it's not going to be easy for him. He also needs you in his life now more then ever. I am glad im not in your shoes thats for sure. Best of luck to you both on this.
2006-07-21 17:54:09 · answer #11 · answered by teddybar67 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋