Say something, anything.....?

Question

ill give you 10 points if you make me laugh.

Answer 1

have u ever sliced ur tongue while licking a envelope? lol

Answer 2

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I’m a virgin and I don’t know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place ’the
prison’ and call my private thing ’the prisoner’. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

Answer 3

A prisoner escapes form prison and breaks into a house not far from the jail, a guy and his wife were in the house. The prisoner kisses the wife on the neck and then goes to the bathroom. The guy sais to his wife.."the prisoner probably just wants to have sex because he was locked away for so long, just let him do it so he doesnt kill us, dont fight back and pretend you like it, be strong honey"
then his wife says " he didn't kiss my neck, he whispered in my ear and said that he was gay and he thought you are cute, he went to the bathroom to find some vasaline" then she says "be strong honey

Answer 4

Grandpa

A grandson came to visit his grandparents and noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocker, wearing only a shirt, naked from
the waist down.

"Grandpa, whatcha' doing? You're weenie's out in the wind for all to see!" he exclaimed.

Grandpa looked off in the distance, not answering.

"Grandpa, whatcha' doin' sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again.

Grandpa looked at him and said, "Last week I sat here with no shirt on and got a stiff neck.

This is grandma's idea..."

Answer 5

Do people have anything else better to do than send these dumb messages? I mean come on now who wants to hear would you turn to Star Wars religion?That is a total MESS.

Answer 6

A guy walking on the beach its a very beautiful beach and its sunset,he trurns around and see this girl sitting on the sand crying ...... he asks her'' why are u crying??'' she says '' look at me im a 21 years old girl i have no legs no arms and i have never been kissed..''.
so the guy gets down on his knees and gives her the most gentle kiss,and gets up and start walking.
the girl start crying again....
he goes back '' why are u crying now??''
she says '' im 21 yaers old i have no legs no arms and i have never been screwed...."
the guy gets down on his knees picks her up and throws her into the ocean and says " You are screwed now ..baby ha ha ha"

Answer 7

i took a penguin into the supermarket up to the fish counter and told it heres all ou can eat

Answer 8

something , anything. hope it makes u laugh

Answer 9

so someone on here asked if pleisiosaurs go to heavan because they don't like them.
so help us if the world has come to asking things like that.

Answer 10

if you give me ten points i will be your best friend