It's been two years since she found out that I was unfaithful to her. Ever since then I've been trying to get her to go to counseling with me but she strongly refuses on the grounds that we can work out the differences without having to pay for someone who really doesn't care. The problem is that she refuses to see that part of the problem was her.
I'm ready to throw in the towel ...
2006-07-21 10:18:36 · 11 answers · asked by dzaelez 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
That's very sad to hear. Tell her that if she doesn't go with you then you don't feel a reason to continue the charade. After all it takes two to make it and it takes two to break it. (Maybe she's given up as well:(
2006-07-21 10:25:53 · answer #1 · answered by melbel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like both of you need counseling. If it is money she is worried about, suggest going to your pastor. That is someone who should care and no cost. Start courting each other again, try to pull out whatever feeling that got you connected. But she was not part of the problem of you being unfaithful that was your choice. Take the blame for the affair. How could she have been part of the problem?
2006-07-21 17:55:11 · answer #2 · answered by shortansassy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to communicate with her about the problems you see in her. You can do that without a counselor. But I'd want someone to protect me if I were going to try to tell my wife my cheating on her was her fault.
Did she push you or something, make you trip and accidentally stick your dick in another woman? I think you need to take the tact that some of your relationship issues are partially due to her and you think that a counselor would help you both better communicate those issues. Tell her that YOU care, so why won't she try this with you?
Maybe it is time to throw in the towel. That is something you should seriously think over.
2006-07-21 17:41:15 · answer #3 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 years? wow. I would have had the divorce over by now. You cheated.. Even counceling may not solve that. What if she was the one that cheated? You can either live the rest of your lives together with no trust.. or.. Throw in the towel buddy..
2006-07-21 21:17:36 · answer #4 · answered by tootsie45414 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm tell her u are going to go to a candy store..JUST KIDDING...ok i think u should tell her that u are willing to make this up to her, for one because u are in councling. and two u want her to go with you, those are good! signs that u want to make up to her right? so tell her that u really do care about her and that u want the best to come out of this if that is still possible, i am likely it is. just ask her nicely if u can just this once and tell her that counclers really do care because if they didnt then why would they go into this field? ok well dont start a fight...eaaks. they can give really good advice, my parents are in councling...well were til he was arrested but they worked alot of things out together. and i just really hope for the best. remind her about the good times, get her in a good mood and ask her if she really wants the relationship to get better. then go from there if u need me anymore u can e-mail me at fuzzbuster08@yahoo.com i would like to know how it worked out! cuz i do care, i am only 16 but i am going to go to college to become a councler..teehee ur my test subject hehe let me know how it goes.
2006-07-21 17:30:19 · answer #5 · answered by Jessie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the expression "You can't lead a horse to water"
If you've tried everything in your power, then you either keep trying ot throw in the towel!
Life's too short!
But don't give up!
2006-07-21 17:22:47 · answer #6 · answered by redirishactress 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to counseling by yourself to begin with; when she sees some positive changes, maybe she will go with you eventually. Part of the problem was you, too.
2006-07-21 18:05:27 · answer #7 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well im glad you are considering getting help for this, thats a big step to working it out. I feel that if she dosent want to go then dont force her. just explain to her I love you and I want to work things out with you, and feel a counsler can help us better because they have alot more knowledge about these types of realtionships. I know how you feel, all to well I am trying to get my boyfriend to go to counsling but, he thinks its me that has to go I explained to him its not all about me its both of us. NOw if she cant accept that you want to work things out then the heck with her. Or maybe you can go a couple times, without her then mayeb she will see your seriouse about this and want to join you. good luck realtionships are tough.. best of luck to you and your wife...
2006-07-21 17:25:54 · answer #8 · answered by luckylove 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing I'd do is go without her. And, reading Relationship Rescue is a good idea too.
2006-07-21 17:34:39 · answer #9 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't throw in the towel. read "Relationship Rescue" by Dr. Phil, in fact, even e-mail him and you'll see eye to eye!!
2006-07-21 17:22:38 · answer #10 · answered by georgie g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋