Some of you already know that i told my neighbor that she was morbidly obese and she got really mad at me. I don't think i did anything wrong, but anyway when i went to apologize like some people suggested i suggested she get a gastric bypass and some lypo cuz she was wayyyyyy to big. Now she is even madder! Is this bad???
2006-07-21 09:58:51 · 21 answers · asked by Yes I Am The Gorgeous One 2 in Health ➔ Diet & Fitness
It is not necessarily bad if it could improve their health. It is all in the approach. You seem to be a little insensitive or intuitive to what it takes for people to struggle. Just know that something is going to happen to you that will help you learn this lesson, unless you can start to feel what people are feeling, and I dont see that happening. Just watch out for yourself becuase it will probably be something handicapping. Not trying to scare you, just letting you know.
Approach people with ease when you are talking about things that can be percieved not normal. Just be careful. I would hate for something bad to happen now that you know that you can change this behaviour and potentially change your future, if not, I hope that you start getting used to a wheelchair or just seeing out of one eye!!!
2006-07-21 10:06:17 · answer #1 · answered by Metacoma 3 · 10⤊ 3⤋
I don't think you are bad just a bit insensitive... usually when someone is that fat it has taken awhile to get that way and although most don't want to admit it they don't like themselves much...but don't go saying that or they will react badly...
your suggestions may be sound advice but you are not the one to decide what is best for your neighbor...
Why did you even bring the topic up? What is your motive?
most fat people are OVERly sensitive and use others reactions to their obesity as an excuse...I know I've been there... I am currently loosing weight but it has taken a commitment to exercise and eating less allot less... surgery is not an easy answer. There are allot and I do mean ALLOT of risks to surgery including death within months of the surgery so that is not that good a choice... Are you embarised to be seen with her?
Why did you bring up such a touchey subject?
If you like this lady why not just try inviting her to participate in activities that are fun and burn calories...like playing frisbee in the park or short walks...
If you want to get back in her good graces just admit you were too much of a butinsky ...that you are sorry you hurt her feelings and that you promise to not bring it up again...you could tread on thin ice and ask her if she would like to get out and exercise...suggest the frisbee thing or ask her what she would like to do.... when apologising just keep it short and stress that you only spoke up because you like her so much you want her to be around for a long time and not have a heart attack or anything else...
Good luck... hope you can selvage a friendship.
2006-07-21 10:18:35 · answer #2 · answered by iowamystic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about this? HOw would u feel if she said that to you in knowing u ARE SUPER FAT and encourage you to go for Gastric Bypass... How would u feel? is that an insulting to you if someone tells u like this ... What u should do is back off and let yher drive her life with her BODY .. Her body is not YOUR BODY .. ok ! but u need to understand that it can be offensive becz Gastric bypass is high on the market .. yet there are some success and unsuccess stories as i have seen .. Its not only a Miracle but u can help her to work out together for evening walks or something like that .. THAN LOOK for a fast answer to a soultion is gastric bypass.. she may or may not qualified for the surgrey...
2006-07-21 10:07:03 · answer #3 · answered by sunnya4life 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, that was bad. Judgmental, insensitive, tactless, and generally very bad.
Do you think that your neighbor doesn't realize that she is fat? Do you think she really needs your seasoned wisdom to suddenly change her life?
The best thing you can do for her is mind your own business. If you are worried about the health of obese people in general, try approaching the topic more broadly rather than personal attacks. Start volunteering at a local YMCA to help young people become active. Donate to school lunch programs to make sure kids have access to nutritious foods. Write a letter to your state representative urging for more funding for health programs.
2006-07-21 10:06:35 · answer #4 · answered by myx.omatosis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What makes you think you have the right to be insensitive? Maybe you should mind your own business. Do you know what you said to her? You told her she wasn't good enough. How would you like it if someone told you the same thing, or something similar. That you were too stupid to live, maybe. Think about what you say before you say it. I think you have a severe case of unintentional foot in mouth disease. If I wanted to keep her as a friend, I'd apologize and tell her what an insensitive jerk I was and leave it up to her to forgive you. If you don't want to be friends with her, leave it alone. I think you'll probably be the loser there.
2006-07-21 10:10:45 · answer #5 · answered by Leisa W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you're footing the bill for those very expensive procedures you've suggested, you should remove your foot from your mouth, say you're sorry and say no more. People who are fat know they are fat. Some don't care and feel there is nothing they can do about it (my best friend). Others are fat and do nothing about it and start to lose weight (my other best friend). There are people who are fat and fight to fix it with diet and excercise. And still others that have a proclivity to being fat because it's in their genes and if they don't protect themselves with diet and exercise they become like your neighbor. In all cases, the person knows they are fat and don't need to be rudely reminded by skinny, pretty people (like you).
2006-07-21 10:05:16 · answer #6 · answered by Lanie Janie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, What you did is very very bad.. She knows that she is fat and maybe she cant help it. It was not your place to say anything. Maybe you could have asked her nicley if she wanted to start going for walks with you or other activities with out implying that she is too fat. If you really care about her feelings you will not do this again. That is no different than telling someone that they are ugly and should have cosmetic surgery to correct it.
2006-07-21 10:12:51 · answer #7 · answered by sea_sher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it's wrong. Use some tact and common sense when talking to people.
How would you feel if someone suggested you get some medication for your zits? Or get a different haircut because you look like a Backstreet Boy?
I don't blame her for being angry. If it were me, I'd probably have kicked you in the balls
2006-07-21 10:03:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are a dumbas/s. Gastric bypass and liposuction are not the only ways to lose weight (and they are not effective either). Plus they are very expensive.
2006-07-21 10:02:39 · answer #9 · answered by clorox.bleech 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it's bad! It's not your place to tell people what is wrong with them. Chances are....they already know. How would you like it if someone came up and blatantly pointed out all of your flaws?
2006-07-21 10:02:37 · answer #10 · answered by green is clean 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are truly concerned for your neighbor's health, then maybe you just need to be more tactful. most of the time a fat person already knows they are fat... and if somebody tells them, it's just reminding them of their inability of self-control. maybe you could give your neighbor some tips on how you stay so slim and trim!
2006-07-21 10:05:49 · answer #11 · answered by amy_2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋