My lover is gorgeous and wonderful, but I know that when I'm not around he sleeps with other women. I know because I ask him and he tells me. He is a very honest person, which is one of the reasons I find him so wonderful. It doesn't bother me particularly that he sleeps with other women. I also like to know that I have the freedom to sleep with other men.
Out of interest, what do people think of this kind of relationship? Is freedom and honesty more important than sexual fidelity?
2006-07-21 09:17:22 · 33 answers · asked by trixie firecracker 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow...some really nasty and unkind answers! Some of you people are not very nice.
This question is not actually about me personally (I'm not in a relationship with anyone), but it is an issue that I care about because I think it's really difficult for people to stay faithful - and sex and love are two different things, aren't they?
Maybe that's the question I should have asked - are sex and love different? Then maybe I wouldn't get called a whore and accused of having diseases! You guys suck.
2006-07-21 11:08:35 · update #1
I think its great. This is how i live my life. The person that i am committed to realizes that a committment from me, means that i will not develope an emotional relationship with another person. That is for my lover/partner only. I will have sex with whomever i want, whenever i want, and my partner will have that same freedom.
Of course, i dont feel monogamy works...At least not for me, and since i can live life by my own rules, i choose to be emotionally committed, not sexually.
2006-07-21 09:29:09 · answer #1 · answered by AJ 3 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I'm against cheating, but as long as you've both agreed that you have an open relationship then that's fine, make sure you make the most of your freedom too though or you may find yourself getting jealous and competitive. Keep up the communication though and you should be fine.
Also make sure you both use condoms for every time you have intercourse with whoever, and have regular STI checks every month or 2 if possible. Sounds over cautious but it only takes one occasion and you could have to live with an STI for your entire life. Don't mean to scare you but your boyfriend and you can't be careless!
2006-07-21 09:25:43 · answer #2 · answered by Emma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't label him a "boyfriend." The term boyfriend means that he loves you, respects you, is faithful to you and only you, and takes good care of you. Therefore, I would just label him a "f**k buddy" and continue on with you other sexual trysts. However, I am concerned about one thing. What happens when you want an exclusive relationship with this man? Will you be able to love and accept him after knowing he's slept with many women? Or will he accept you knowing you've done the same? It's certainly something to think about.
2006-07-21 09:22:29 · answer #3 · answered by adjoadjo 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it would cause more problems in the relationship, because sleeping around with alot of people gets old and can cause jealous and trust issues in the future. And not everyone will but most people after awhile just want a real commitment.
2006-07-21 09:20:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonstar 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you know it and are okay with it, it's not cheating...if y'all are happy with an open relationship, then that's your biz...I just hope that you both use proper protection when having sex with others, to decrease the chances of picking up something and passing it to your "main" partner (or anyone else for that matter)...
As long as you both let ANY person you sleep with, know what the deal is...then do as you please...
Be safe...be honest...
2006-07-21 09:20:17 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to me, but your not dating me, are you? If you guys can actually pull off the open relationship then God bless ya both!! At some point you will do something for another lover, or he will do something for one of his and the jealousy monster shall be set free to destroy your happy little world! Its nature and most of the time that's how things will be. The first time you want to do something with him and another girl hes bangin calls and he goes over to see her instead of stayin with you, you will start to feel what I'm saying, and it will get worse and worse till you cant stand it and dump him over it. Or he will eventually dump you for the same things. Sorry :-(
tmajik
2006-07-21 09:29:03 · answer #6 · answered by tmajik 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in an "Open" relationship with an man who was 10 years older than me.
I was in love with him and never got involve with anyone else. I found it hard knowing that he was sleeping with other women. It does not work if one half relationship is not happy with the situation, has I was.
It hurts too bad and my relationship ended. I'm worth more than that!
2006-07-21 09:30:44 · answer #7 · answered by Kev's Girl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you're happy that's what counts!
Obviously if you have sex with more than one partner (or with someone who has sex with more than just you), you should be using protection.
You don't need to seek approval from people on Yahoo for what you do.
If you feel like he is hurting you or using you, then you probably shouldn't be with him. If you don't feel hurt or used, then it's OK. Just be honest with yourself about how you feel. If he is hurting by not being faithful, I'm sure you can find another guy who would be faithful, if that's what you want.
2006-07-21 10:25:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore some of the more judgemental,idiot, crazed replies. It is your life and do with it as you see fit, you don't need anyone's approval or otherwise. If you are seeking advise, then for what mine is worth, here goes - open relationships have the greatest risk of break up. Swinging, or open relationships have health issues, are you prepared for the tears if it all goes wrong?
2006-07-21 09:26:25 · answer #9 · answered by Raymo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's not a relationship. That's just two of yous messing around with this one and that one and then each other. What are you just room mates, that is not a relationship either. Relationship between a man and a woman should be just as sacred as wedding vowels.
2006-07-21 09:23:58 · answer #10 · answered by auntkarendjjb 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋